1
[QUACKING]
[WARBLE, ZAP!]
[SCREECHES]
Adventure time
Come on, grab your friends
We'll go to very distant lands
With Jake the dog and Finn the human
The fun will never end
It's "Adventure Time"
[RAPPING] C-C-C-C-Clam Rap
Juicy like nectar
My name is Neptr
I stay rapping no
matter what the weather
I'm by the fire 'cause
it's hot like a dryer
Clams and rappin'.
Doesn't get any better
than this, right, Phoebe?
It's actually my first Clam Rap.
[BEATBOXING]
[RAPPING] Clams, clams
Ate this plate of clams
Utensils weren't provided
So I had to use my hands
I'm gonna be unhappy
If it happens agains
Boom!
[CHEERING]
Princess, what you got?
Yeah, dump it in, stir it up.
[RAPPING] I'm like a library
book, so check me out
Read my front and back cover
so you know what I'm about
I'm straight droolin',
spittin' out rhymes
People gather round and
they're waitin' in lines
I got a lot of combinations
of words to throw
To let you know I got glow
I said it 'cause you just don't know
So what now?
What's up, what's up, bro?
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
You beat me fair and square
'Cause maybe something's in the air
I'm wearing unlucky shoes,
not my favorite pair
[AUDIENCE GROANS]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
Hello there, young lady.
I heard you lay down some
serious rhymes earlier.
[MUNCHES]
My card.
FLAME PRINCESS: Victor Marilyn?
I'm a talent scout by trade
and, uh [MUNCHES]
And I'd love to book you for a
big-time rap battle next week
Rap Fest Aid.
Whoa.
I've never heard of Rap Fest Aid.
It sure sounds like the big time.
But before I can book you anywhere,
I'm gonna have to have you sign
some waivers and release forms.
Boilerplate stuff.
Don't bother reading it.
Okay.
[CHUCKLING] Okay.
I'll get this paperwork processed,
and we'll be in business.
Toronto!
[LAUGHS] Yes, it's me!
And I'm making my move from
second banana to top dog.
As stated in the contract
that you just signed,
if you lose Rap Fest Aid,
the Fire Kingdom becomes my property.
What?!
Aw, don't worry.
Look at this mug.
You could out-rap him
any day of the week.
Oh, you won't be facing me.
You'll have to beat the most
gifted rapper of our time.
Son of Rap Bear!
See you in a week.
- Son of Rap Bear?
- Son of Rap Bear?
I wonder if he's any
relation to Rap Bear.
Rap Bear lives in there?
It's surprisingly nice.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Rap Bear.
What happened?
[GROANS]
My son and I were having Sunday dinner.
We were lightly rapping back and forth.
It turned into a rap battle.
He threw out rhyme after rhyme.
I couldn't keep up.
You got beat by your own son?
Are his rap powers that
much greater than yours?
Yes.
Why are you asking about my son?
Flame Princess is going up against him
one on one in a freestyle battle.
[GASPS] That kid will take you apart.
He rapped my legs off.
Rap Bear, Son of Rap Bear's father,
said his son, Son of Rap Bear,
would be at tonight's open mic.
Dude, let's sit back here.
[RAPPING] You're a small bear
With fuzzy hair over there
Get away from me, I don't
wanna share my air
Doesn't matter where,
anywhere, everywhere with you
Chop you in two with my rap kung fu
Are you scared of me?
Boo!
[RAPPING] You're like a
cookie who's about to crumble
Your rapping is stale
Also, you mumble
Did you just make a mistake
smellin' like a cake
Who just stumbled into
a lyrical rumble?
Your raps causes naps
You look a little frail and
you're about to collapse
You'll know you got beat when
you hear the people's claps
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
Whoa.
Whoa.
Look who decided to come out to play.
The news on the streets says
you're gonna battle me at Rap Fest Aid.
This is a joke, right? Hear me out.
What are you even gonna rap about?
You've been in a bottle
since the age of 2
I got shampoo more worldly than you
I will do laps around your raps
I crush my opponents
and collect their caps
If you wanna keep yours
on, I suggest you run
People holla at me
because I'm number one
Son of Rap Bear is right.
I just rap about rapping.
I haven't traveled the world
or done anything really.
Finn! Let's go on some adventures!
What?
It would really help me build up
some quick life experience.
I don't know if life is like
a test you can cram for.
This is for my kingdom.
I've got to try.
Unh.
Yo.
Went along with Finn
from mission to mission
To win the battle for
the Fire Kingdom
Worked at Pizza Sassy
'cause I'm not too classy
Climbed a rock, had
to mind the clock
Tick, tock
I go with Starchy, I hunt ghosts
I blow fire with my saxophone
I'm a submarine teen, ain't
nothin' I ain't seen
All around I'm known I'm
the girl on the throne
Givin' back rubs, in the
bathtubs, hittin' math clubs
Makin' mad grub to outspit a rap cub
I got solutions to
this rap pollution
When I'm done with Son of Rap Bear
He's gonna need new shins
Unh, yeah, I'm experienced
Solid like a pebble in aquarium
I drop knowledge like I'm
Bubblegum if she was librarian
[GROANS]
That was good!
I thought trying new things
would make me new and interesting,
but I just feel like a hack.
Maybe there is an
interesting thing about you
that you just don't realize.
Like how Neptr only just found
out there is a face on his can,
and now he thinks the can
is his conjoined twin.
I don't expect you to understand
the bond I share with my family.
Family.
FLAME KING: [HUMMING]
No room for the body.
Let's make him swim.
FLAME PRINCESS: Knock, knock.
Is that you, bun bun?
- Aah!
- Hi, Dad.
You're not here to put me back
in lantern jail, are you?
I guess I wanted to talk.
Oh.
It seems like lots changed
since I last saw you.
Maybe we actually have a shot
at putting the past behind us
and, I don't know, being
normal with each other.
I know exactly what you're saying.
I've totally gotten over being
in lantern jail, so we're good.
Well, I was kind of hoping
you could acknowledge
hurting me, like
Phoebes, come on.
It's better to be thankful
for what you have now
An awesome chipmunk Dad.
Uh, I'm gonna put on some music.
You're totally welcome
to listen, or not.
Totally up to you.
So you won't even apolo
- [VOCALIZING]
- gize?
[RAPPING] Water chestnuts
roasting in my gut
Acorn squash you with
a peanut butter cup
I'll tell you what's
the diff-er-ence
Between a legume and a nut
One goes in your mouth and
the other out your butt
Just put the cash into my
stash and I give you cashew
Put your face in my
almond butter paste, yo
Pecan can do or pecan you don't, bro
- Drama.
- On your way out, take a pistachio
TORONTO: What's up, Rap Fest Aid?!
[LAUGHS] Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the battle
for the Fire Kingdom!
To my left, we have the Flame Princess.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
And to my right, the reigning champion,
Son of Rap Bear!
Yo.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
And go, Son of Rap Bear.
Yo, I'm a word wizard
I'm Son of Rap Bear
But you're a fire hazard,
maybe I should be scared
I mean, I do hear you're dangerous
when your temper flares
Do guys even date you or just
cook wieners in your hair
[AUDIENCE "OHS"]
I guess there was that fire
guy that wanted to marry you
Was it Don Jon with the big guns?
Oh, but you're not into
macho men, are you?
You like 'em soft and round
like cinnamon-flavored buns
[AUDIENCE "OHS"]
He's good.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I got more rhymes in my
hair than you ever will
You better run away
like it's a fire drill
You're so lame and stinky,
more spark from my pinky
I'm a flaming master
I'm slinky, hinky
[THINKING] Oh, Glob.
What am I saying?
She's choking.
[AUDIENCE BOOS]
Oh.
FLAME KING: Hi, Phoebe!
Huh?
Dad, you came to see me rap?
No, I had no idea you were in this.
Isn't that crazy?
Don't feel bad about losing, though!
He's way out of your league!
Dad!
Why the heck did I even
try to talk to you?
You only ever cared about
things like koalas
And chipmunks and baby kangaroos
It's actually pretty sad
I mean, I usurped you when I was 14
I thought we could be friends
I don't know what I was thinking
I don't need you or anyone
'Cause I'm the real Flame King
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] Get it, girl!
And as for Son of Rap Bear
You're so unoriginal, you put
your own dad in a wheelchair
Just so you could steal his
name and ride on his fame
But without it, you're just a
sad kid full of hot air
Y'all can try to bully me
and scam me, I don't care
As if being a jerk's gonna
make you dummies happy
[GROANS]
But my kingdom ain't
a commodity, Toronto
It's a part of me
So sorry, you can't take
what isn't owned by me
So take him away
Boom.
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
I get it! She owned him!
[AUDIENCE CHANTING "PHOEBE"]
The winner is Son of Rap Bear!
[CHANTING CONTINUES]
I thought I was the Glob
of rap, rivaled by none
But I'm more like bubble wrap
'cause she squashed me for fun
She's actually not bad.
Hey, honey!
You're actually not bad!
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