6. Patrick (第1季)【完整台词】

Wow.

You look amazing.

Aww, thank you.

Um, Tom, this is, uh My boyfriend Sam.

- Uh Sam, this is Eve's boyfriend, Tom.

- Oh.

Uh, good to Uh, Sam, nice to meet you, Sam.

Good to meet you, too.

Yeah, I didn't know Eve had a boyfriend.

I told you that.

It's very early days.

- We should probably grab our seats.

- Oh, speak of the devil.

And she will appear.

How you doing, gorgeous? I'm good.

Ah, so you went for a blue suit, then? Which is good, because I do actually still have some accounts that need doing.

Yeah, what's that? Fifteen seconds? That must be a new record.

So, you two have met, then? Tom used to be a ballet dancer, and I know what you're thinking, but he's actually straight.

Show 'em first position, babe.

Second? - That's pretty impressive, right? - All sorted with Samantha? Sweet as a peach.

For some reason, when I explained how much money he'd make, it seemed to calm her right down.

- That's Gary Lowen.

- ROBYN: Babe (WHISPERS) He's talking to me.

Shall we? - Good to meet you, mate.

- You too.

I wanna come out.

Excuse me? All that stuff you said to him, you know, about being strong, and true to yourself, making a difference, I want that.

You're getting married in 23 minutes.

I don't love her! - So? - So, what happened to inspiring millions with your bravery? - I was talking to him, not you.

- Yeah.

Look, back off, man.

You got your own shit going on.

I need this.

- So do I! - Too late.

I was here first.

You decided, like, three hours ago.

- Three hours before you.

- It's not a competition, bruv! I'm coming out, okay? You're not even gay.

Neither are you.

You're not.

Shit.

(LAUGHS) Jesus.

I've shared a bath with you! Oh, for fuck's sake.

That's it.

Nobody is coming out.

I can't listen to this shit anymore.

Come out, stay in, get married, don't get married, marry each other.

I don't care.

It's all fucking meaningless.

We're sacks of meat collecting shiny things to make us better than other sacks of meat.

That's it.

What else do you want? Happiness? Well, here's some insight for you.

The only happiness that exists in this world is the happiness you assume everyone else is having.

So, will you please, for once in your pampered, emotionally-stunted lives, make a decision so I can tell the press to piss off, and we can all have a fucking drink? OFFICIATOR: We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of this woman, Bianca, and this man, Patrick.

Marriage is the formal joining of two lives, and with that, two bodies of people.

If any person present knows of any lawful impediment to this marriage, they should declare it now.

SAM: Oh, he's He's gonna go.

He's going.

(CHUCKLING) - You all right? - Yeah.

Just got a lot to balance.

I need to make sure it all goes smooth.

Did, um Did Ruth get back to you yet? She will, babe, just give her time.

I know this is a load of old gob, but still Warms the cockles, eh? I mean, if we just look at it like it's one big party What? Just saying, if we were ever so inclined, I think we could do an amazing wedding.

OFFICIATOR: I now pronounce you man and wife.

You may kiss the bride.

(PEOPLE CHEERING) (WHISPERS INAUDIBLY) Bianca, put your hand up on his chest.

No, Patrick, down.

Now, just sort of relax a bit more into it.

Just like time to enjoy the rest of your lives together.

GARY: Football was my escape, my identity.

Football hid my secret, gave me more joy than I could have ever imagined.

But the time has come to tell the world the truth that I am a homosexual.

SAM: Gary Lowen, gay.

Unbelievable.

Did you know this? I'd heard rumors.

Yeah, well, good for him.

Takes a lot of bollocks, that.

I mean, it shouldn't even be a big deal considering we're living in 2019, I mean, we know how to clone dogs, but I guess some things progress faster than others.

There's a bad joke in it, something about Chelsea being tied out the back, but I'm above that.

(CHUCKLING) Isn't that Jeff Stelling? Babe, sorry, one second.

Yeah.

- This is gonna be huge, you know that? - Mmm-hmm.

Going to need you in the office first thing to remit.

Bright-tailed and bushy-eyed.

Security will get the last of the press out the door, do a final sweep, check there are no photographers hiding behind potted plants et cetera, and from then onwards, we're a media black hole.

(INHALES DEEPLY) Thank Christ for that.

Be good.

Oh, excuse me.

You couldn't, uh, bring over a bottle of vodka and some lime tonic, could you? Thanks.

(SIGHS) You did great.

- It was a great response out there.

- (EXHALES HEAVILY) I think there's gonna be a huge pick-up with the press tomorrow.

You should feel good.

You're gonna make a lot of money.

Great.

It's great.

- (VOMITS) - Oh! (COUGHING) Sorry.

Oh.

Uh, why don't you go get yourself a drink - and I will get this cleared up.

- Okay.