Remember, cosmetic surgery is only a superficial solution.
' It can lift eyelids, but not the little cloud of pessimism hovering over you.
Thank you for your call.
OK, Roz, so who's our next caller? Roz? This'd be a good time to go to commercial break.
We'll be right back after these messages.
- Frasier? - Hello.
Disturbing seeing no one there? I was finding out if they've announced the nominations for the SeaBs.
I forgot, are those out today? You forgot? The biggest award in Seattle radio! I suppose it's the difference in our ages.
I don't get excited about well, much anymore.
Congratulations.
- Yes! Yes! We got the nomination! - Who'd you hear it from? I haven't.
I was congratulating you on a great show.
If anyone deserves a nomination, you guys do.
- Get out, Noel.
- OK, catch you later.
Well, I guess I'm a little more excited than I let on! - It'd be a feather in my cap to win.
- Are you kidding?! In ten years, I've never produced a show that got nominated.
(Phone rings) Hello hi, Millie you're kidding! - That's great! Thanks, bye.
- We got the nomination? - No, Millie's getting married.
- Damn it, Roz! She said she'd been seeing someone else - couldn't keep living a lie.
I was dumbfounded.
What about everything we'd gone through? Didn't that mean anything? Niles, a patient has a right to change therapists.
- Frasier, thank God! - What're you doing here? What kind of agent would I be if I didn't tell you you've been nominated?! (Shouts) I was nominated! Ha-ha! Well I was! Yes, you Frasier Crane, MD, PhD, STUD, are the man of the hour! Bebe Glazer, Frasier's agent.
Dr Niles Crane, Frasier's brother.
- You're not a psychiatrist, too? - Yes.
Oh, please, if I'm ever to have a breakdown, let me have it now.
Double double decaf to go.
So, this is quite a surprise.
I forgot the nominations were out today.
Oh, isn't he precious? You must be very proud of Frasier.
Actually no.
It's one more signpost on the road of celebrity my brother's chosen.
Hope that's not sibling rivalry rearing its green snout?! Absolutely not.
I believe psychiatry's a noble profession, tarnished by popularity contests and a bouncy radio programme! I bet you two had wicked little hair-pulling fights when you were tots! It's been delightful, I must run.
My sexual addiction group - I don't like to leave them alone too long.
- Frasier! - Roz! We did it! I know! Come sit down.
I've never won before.
Although back in prep school the existentialist club once named me most likely "to be"! You wanna hear the great part? I've a date for the ceremony - Brad Macnamara! The Channel Eight reporter? Television's most handsome man.
He wouldn't give me time of day but one nomination - he knew who I was! Who are you? Roz Doyle, Frasier's producer.
Oh, right.
I've seen you bring him coffee.
Would you mind getting mine? Better get on the ball.
I've a lot to do! Not really, I got your tux, rented a limo, your tickets will be at the door.
The only thing you haven't taken care of is finding me a date?! Your subtlety floors me! I'd love to! I'm thrilled, for you both - but I've got to run.
Two clients weren't nominated.
I have to tell them what a worthless award this is! Daphne, you may not be aware of this, but there's a secret to opening champagne.
Especially a fine French champagne as unprepossessing as this one - $200 a bottle.
In order to prevent spillage one does not simply twist out the cork.
Instead, hold the cork stationary.
Give the bottle three easy turns.
One (Cork pops) Get some glasses! Quick! Oh oh, my god.
Eddie, get out of there, you mangy little cur! Here Oh, Lord.
That wasn't too bad.
I believe we've salvaged most of it.
A toast.
To my number-one son, congratulations on your first nomination for well, anything! - Frasier, I'm proud of you.
- Thanks, means a lot to me.
Mm this champagne is delicious.
Exquisite.
Dad, what do you think? I was in the mood for something domestic! I must say, it's nice that although I'm an employee, you include me in family celebrations.
Never doubt that I think of you as my equal in every way.
(Doorbell) (Doorbell rings again) Oh, I'll get it.
- Would you? - Like me to announce your visitor? (Shouts) Just open the door! Oh, hello, Roz! Congratulations Thanks.
I couldn't believe it myself.
Brad Macnamara! Roz, she was referring to your SeaB nomination.
No, I meant Brad Macnamara.
- Think he wears pants under the desk? - Not on my TV! Girls, can we cut out the pyjama party, please? - Hello, Mr C.
- Hey, Roz, how's my girlfriend? Well, she's nominated.
A glass of champagne? It's French and unprepossessing.
Save your breath.
It could come out of a box - Roz would have a glass of it! I'm so proud of you, Roz, being recognised in a male-dominated industry.
- One more step for working women.
- You're a credit to our gender.
Thank you.
That reminds me, do you have a push-up bra I could borrow? - I'll look.
- Thanks.
I'm sorry to barge in but I had to show you this, Frasier.
A friend at "Broadcast" magazine sent me a copy.
It's a full-page ad.
'Wendy Yashiro thanks the voting committee for her nomination 'and hopes they consider her for the award.
' This is shameless self-promotion, very bad taste! I know! What'll we put in our ad? Wendy Yashiro's up against you? I like her - she's a cutie! You're suggesting we put an ad in? We're falling behind, Mike Sanchez has sent out tapes of his show.
Mike Sanchez? Oh, I like him! Who knows what Fletcher Grey's doing? - Fletcher Grey!! - (Shouts) Thank you, Dad! Geez! Well, all right.
As long as it's tasteful and understated.
Great.
My friend'll work something up for us.
Wait.
If we want to stand out, why run another boring ad? We should do something different.
Last year's winner threw a party.
OK, but we should do something else to keep our names in their minds.
I know, personalized gifts from the new Tiffany's catalogue! - Ooh, that's good! - I saw incredible cigarette cases.
No - sends out a bad message.
A silver flask? We've already got your vote, Roz.
I mightn't know about show business, but gifts for people who could do something for you, that's bribery! It's a thank you for a nomination! If I had to give a gift to get an award it's not worth having.
You might as well just go down to the trophy store and buy one.
- I really want that award.
- Me, too.
Get that catalogue! Well, are you coming in or not? This is a big moment.
I want to drink it in.
Me, too.
Where's the bar? Not so fast.
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