Allow me.
You're welcome.
When did everyone become so boorish? Sometimes, I think I'm the only person with any sense of refinement.
Oh, smell my hands.
Thank you, no.
I'm so proud.
I had to stop for gas, and I pumped it myself.
- It's part of a new kick I'm on.
- What? I'm learning to be handy.
I depend too much on others, so I'm doing it myself.
Feel that.
Surely the start of a first-rate callus.
- You left this in your booth.
- Thank you.
- What is it? - A tape I rented for Dad.
It's our new Wednesday ritual.
Dad makes chilli, we watch an Angie Dickinson movie and I wish I was dead.
- You should join us.
- No, I got my first work shirt today and tonight, I'm tackling the squeaky hasp on my cigar humidor.
Be sure to wear your hernia belt.
Roz, will you join us? No, I'll just go sit over here.
Roz, are you trying to avoid me? Yes, can you blame me? You took a year to learn my name - You always make snide remarks.
- Name one.
You told me my bedroom was easier to get into than a community college.
I was hoping you'd name that one.
I've got half a mind to Just hold on! You got off on the wrong foot.
If you two had a real conversation, you'd hit it off famously.
You sit and I will go and get your coffee.
So, how are you? - Fine.
You? - Great.
I'm handy now.
So that's a nice jacket.
- Thank you.
- It's offbeat.
What does that mean? "Offbeat"? - Well - I know.
Offbeat as in cheap.
I'm not rich enough to shop at the International House of Tight Ass like you and Maris the Heiress.
- That is what you meant, right? - Yes, but I didn't think you'd get it.
- Then you were insulting me.
- You got in some good shots, too.
I did, didn't I? I'm so glad we did this! Sometimes I'm such a good therapist, I scare myself.
- Where's my briefcase? - Isn't it under your chair? Someone must have taken it! Frasier, look, there it is! - Excuse me.
- Excuse me.
- Is that your briefcase? - Yes.
- Where did you get it? - Some nuns in my parish bought it for me as a gift.
Then that would make you a priest.
Yes.
Well, then, father Perhaps you'd like to explain why you'd be carrying around a Bible and some rosary beads! - What are you looking for? - An Angie Dickensen movie.
I loaned it to the monsignor to give to you.
Apparently he forgot.
It's a two-day rental.
It doesn't matter.
I'm sorry.
It looked like yours.
They have the same inferior leather.
- I gave him that briefcase.
- I know.
Yes, I would mind holding.
I've already held three times.
I'm trying to report stolen credit cards but every five seconds Damn it! Don't stare at me.
I'm a humane man, but right now, I could kick a kitten through an electric fan.
Hey, Frase.
Niles called.
Somebody stole your briefcase? Go ahead, tell me how stupid I was to get taken advantage of.
Better than listening to "Jumping Jack Flash" for piano and flute.
You weren't stupid.
These guys are pros.
They need a second, and bam! That's rather refreshing.
I thought you'd call me a naive dupe or - A bone-headed rube? - But you're not.
No.
The important thing is you learned a lesson.
You gotta keep your guard up.
This world would be a happier place if everybody remembered two little words: "People stink!" That's a little cynical for me.
I prefer to think of people as basically good and decent.
Yes, I am here, but I'm in the middle of a speech so you'll have to hold! Truth is I enjoy my life that way.
If the price I have to pay is to replace a few credit cards, so be it.
Reminds me of when I moved to London.
I didn't trust people back then.
I tried to stay out of harm's way by walking with my eyes cast down, never meeting anyone's glance.
But I decided that was no way to live.
So one day, I lifted up my chin and took it all in.
The change was amazing.
There were sights I'd never seen, sounds I'd never heard.
A tiny old man came up to me with a note in his hand.
He needed help.
This was no city full of thieves and muggers.
People needed me.
I took his note, read it, and I still remember what I said to him: "That's not how you spell fellatio.
" So, whose point did she prove? I have no idea.
It's been fun chatting with you all, nasty old Gertrude aside.
I'd like to close with a personal message.
This goes out to the person who stole my briefcase yesterday.
And also stole my dry cleaning with the claim ticket that was inside it.
You need help, and I am here to provide it.
Also, the double-breasted navy blue suit should be worn with French cuffs.
You may be sick, but you should be stylish.
Until tomorrow, this is Dr Frasier Crane.
Man, that was a great show! It was better than great! It was brilliant! You What do you want? - Remember I said I need Friday off? - No.
You don't remember or I can't have Friday off? Take one of each.
I'm feeling generous.
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