-Roz, who's our last caller? -On line two we have Marilyn.
-She's feeling a little homesick.
-Go ahead, Marilyn.
Well, I like living in Seattle but, I don't know I grew up in this little town in Wisconsin and I really miss that life.
Well, you're not the only one.
My producer Roz has regaled me with many stories of the great Dairy State.
You're from Wisconsin, Roz? What part? -Bloomer.
-Oh my God, I'm from Monomeney.
No way! You're from Menomonie? My cousins are from Menomonie, do you know the Rayburns? Billy Rayburn is your cousin? I used to work with him at Bell's Frozen Custard! Do you remember that guy that used the run the store with all the moles? Mr.
Sneedy.
Ladies, as fascinating as this is, I'm afraid we're out of time.
That's okay, Marilyn, you can call back tomorrow.
Make sure you all tune in tomorrow for Part 2 in our series, "Women of the Cheese Belt.
" Goodbye for now, and good mental health.
These messages came for you earlier, your wines are ready.
Oh, excellent.
I'm hosting a tasting tonight for the wine club Niles and I belong to.
I'm hoping they name me the Maitre d'Chai.
It's a long-standing dream of mine to wear that silver cup around my neck.
You know, back in Wisconsin if a guy wore a cup around his neck -it meant he'd ticked off the gym teacher.
-Fine! Make sport, but this does happen to be important to me.
Since when? You used to say that club was nothing but a bunch of arrogant cork-sniffing snobs.
Well, that was before I got in.
Well, when I'm handing out baloney sandwiches this weekend at the homeless shelter it will do me heart good to know that a bunch of wealthy men are swishing two-hundred-dollar bottles of wine and spitting it into silver buckets! It's not like we don't recycle the bottles.
Bottle six.
Big, full-bodied, nicely baked.
Essence of truffles, long finish -Chambertin 76'.
-Bravo, Frasier.
If only your aim were as accurate.
How is it those same taste buds can't tell the difference between my pot roast and my flank steak? Well, considering you learned to cook in England it's a wonder I can tell your flank steak from a braised tennis ball.
Now, now, let's move on to the number seven.
Ah, touch of oak.
Hint of currant.
Whisper of what is that, what is that? Oh yes, wet dog! You guys still playing that stupid game? Dad, wine tasting is not a stupid game - it's a highly refined skill.
Yeah, I just saw a couple of guys on the corner practising out of paper bags.
We're hardly winos.
Some very distinguished people belong to our club.
The mayor, the commissioner of public safety the chief of surgery at St.
Lukes Oh, just the people I want walking around all liquored up.
Could you find room for a school bus driver and a couple of air traffic controllers? Well, we would if they had impeccable taste.
Which reminds me dad, I have a favour to beg.
Would you mind if I moved your chair into your room -until after the tasting? -Forget it you might as well ask me to stay in my room.
Which takes care of the second favour.
Oh, all right, move it.
At least I don't have to spend the night watching your society pals getting tanked.
Okay, Niles, grab an end.
-Oh, you're serious.
You know I don't lift.
-Yes with that stick where it I'm surprised you can bend.
Start hoisting.
-Oh, God! -No Niles, don't drop it! You better be talking about the floor.
Oh, of course I'm talking about the floor Oh, for Pete's sake, it's just a little scratch.
Get me a yellow magic marker.
I'll color it in, no one'll know the difference.
Dad, you have no idea how critical these people can be.
They love finding fault.
We could put a rug over it.
A rug? Where a rug doesn't belong? Why don't you just throw down a Twister mat.
Have a few rounds between vintages?! Steady Frasier, there's still hope.
I'll bring my contractor by in the morning.
The man's a genius.
You know, it's time you guys learned everything doesn't have to be perfect.
Yes, it's that kind of advice that leads to shag carpeting! Ah, good morning Daphne.
Extra pancakes for me this morning! I'm famished! Yes, well you should have thought about that last night before you started making cracks about English cooking.
I have hung up my spatula.
Well, you moved my chair, you cut off my pancake supply; why don't you just back out over Eddie on your way to work and make it a hat trick? And a hat trick would be? -It's in hockey where one player -Enough said, thank you.
-Niles.
-Good morning, Frasier.
I'm delivering one miracle worker as promised.
-Joe DeCarlo, Frasier Crane.
And my father, Martin Crane.
-Hi, Joe.
-Where's the scratch? -Oh, you mean you didn't see it? We were going to put some orange cones around it so nobody would fall in it! It's right here.
-I can get rid of that.
-It has to be done by five.
My guests arrive at seven, so it has to be a firm five.
Not a five-fifteen or a five-thirty.
-I'll be done by noon.
-Splendid.
-I told you he was good.
We're talking about a man who has satisfied Maris.
Something that's still regrettably on my to-do list! Coffee's ready.
Of course, I'm sure it'll taste like my old bath water to you.
You know, how it gets all grey and scummy around the edges with little flecks of Oh, hello.
-Hi.
-Hello.
I'd love some coffee, Daphne.
Hmm, Daphne? Er, Daph, this is Joe DeCarlo.
Joe, this is Daphne.
She helps me out around here.
-Smells great.
Columbian? -No, English.
-The coffee - Costa Rican.
Would you like a cup? -Thanks.
I'll be right back.
-He's adorable, talk me up.
-A plate of pancakes.
-Deal.
You know, Joe, Daphne's a great gal.
-You know, she doesn't always go round in that ratty old bathrobe.
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