Previously on Frasier What is going on? Oh, our beloved station manager decided we're not getting our raise this year! -You intractable despot! -Ass! -Shrew! you know, you were in the middle of a negotiation.
Maybe she laid that smackeroo on you just to rattle your brain.
we have got to settle this strike! Alright.
Those people deserve a five percent raise.
-I'll give you three.
-Four! -Done.
-Frasier! -Damn, I didn't think you'd be here Well, I would've gone to my regular haunt but "The Pig 'N Swig" is closed for remodelling.
I'm sorry, Niles, it's just I'm meeting Kate here.
We want to discuss the little dilemma in which we find ourselves.
If you're talking about the little kiss you two shared that hardly constitutes a dilemma.
-It's not as if you plunged into a tawdry office affair.
-No.
-Then you'd have a real problem.
-Yes.
-A kiss? It's nothing.
-Right.
Had sex with her, didn't you? I didn't mean to! It just happened! One minute we were negotiating the next minute our inhibitions were shattered along with my kneecap and her Macintosh PowerBook.
-This happened in her office? -Yes.
-What are you saying? -Her couch folds out? -We used her desk.
-Her desk folds out?! -There she is! Look, look, just make an excuse and go, okay? -Alright, okay.
Ah, Miss Costas.
-Dr.
Crane.
Oh, look at the time! I, er, have a session with my multiple personality.
Well, not to worry.
If I'm late he can just talk amongst himself.
-So good morning.
-Good morning.
-How's your knee? -Ah.
Well er, it's better, thanks.
And and your laptop? I refer to your computer.
A little dented, but fine.
The computer.
Ah.
Anyway, what I wanted to tell you was that well, last night was one of the greatest nights of lovemaking I've had since -Roz! -Tell me she just walked in.
Well, hi! Guess you guys kissed and made up, huh? Well, in a manner of speaking, yes.
We were just discussing the step system in a new healthcare plans co-payment scheme and -well, it wouldn't interest you.
-Oh, the hell it wouldn't! You know they're too cheap to pay for a butt-lift? I sit on this thing all day long, that's work-related! Listen, I really have to go.
But I would like to discuss this matter at the first possible opportunity.
So would I.
I almost forgot.
I need you two to fill in the eight-to-ten slot tonight.
Floyd, the Happy Chef, is in rehab again.
Oh, great.
I was supposed to have dinner with a successful, handsome doctor! She thinks we're all as happy to work all night as she is.
Well, you're a psychiatrist, Frasier.
She's a cold, repressed workaholic who has no sex life whatsoever.
Can't you help her? I've tried, Roz.
Why do we bother having a service elevator? I just rode up nineteen floors with two sweaty moving men munching on chili-dogs which they proceeded to drip onto my suede shoes.
How will I ever get that stain out? Ah, yes.
Dog saliva! Nature's miracle solvent.
So who's moving out anyway? Deirdre Sauvage, the one who writes the romance novels.
Yeah, the lost Gabor sister's finally outta here.
Well, she's a very sweet person and I'm going to miss her.
Well, you're not the one she's always undressing with her eyes.
She lured me into her apartment one time, supposedly to fix a lamp.
Next thing I know, I got a drink in my hand and she's reading me a dirty poem about meadow walks.
Well, I must admit she's never done that to me.
Yeah well, if she does, don't fake a charley horse to get outta there.
She'll just try to rub it! Speaking of romance, Dr.
Crane when I washed your shirt this morning I couldn't help noticing lipstick in the oddest places.
I'll take it negotiations went well last night? -I'd rather not discuss it, thank you.
-Why, is there a problem? Things between me and Kate just went a little faster than I intended.
I'll say! There were also four buttons missing and teeth-marks in the shoulders! Thank you, Inspector Moon! Things got a little out of hand.
I think we should slow down a bit but er I'm afraid to tell her for fear of hurting her feelings.
Daphne, how about a woman's perspective? Let's just say, for argument's sake, that you and I succumbed to a a night of passion -What, you and me? -Yes What - bosoms heaving, shirt buttons catapulting through the air? It's a hypothetical question! -I'll say it is! -Oh, alright, somebody else! Alright? So, you have a, a mad tryst with this young man and then the next day he says that he thinks things are going too fast.
He'd like to slow down.
What would you say? I suppose I'd say, "Thanks for being honest.
You're probably right, we were moving too fast.
" "Not that it was too fast for you last night.
Ohh, no, we were right on schedule then, weren't we?" "But, now you've had your fun - though not too much, apparently and you want to be my friend.
Well you can just sod off, Trevor Mulgrew!!!" You know, I think I might have some buttons for this shirt You see, dad - the whole thing's a minefield.
Ah, you'll never learn, will you? Handling a woman's easy! You know, you kill me.
Mister Psychiatrist, you've always gotta make everything so complicated.
A woman comes on too strong, you just tell her to cool her engines! It's the easiest thing in the world.
-Oh, Deirdre! -I understand you're leaving us.
-Alas, yes! Oh, do come in! Thank you.
Ohhh hello, Martin! You've been so kind to me - I wanted to give you my new address.
Oh, great! I'd hate to lose touch! I also wanted to bring you a farewell gift.
My latest novel, "Foolish Escapade.
" It's the long-awaited sequel to "The Rose and the Rapier.
" -Swell! -I was er, thinking of you when I created the character of Lorenzo, the lovesick gondolier How 'bout that? Hah! Hey, where are my manners? Let me show you out! Oh, by the way, the lock on my suitcase is jammed.
I was er, hoping that you'd come and -tinker with it? -Oh gee, you know, I'd love to, Deirdre.
But I I promised Frasier I'd do something with him tonight.
Oh oh, dad, didn't I mention it? I'm filling in for The Happy Chef tonight -so, you're all hers! -Oh, marvelous! Goodnight, Lorenzo.
Hello, Polly.
-How can I help you? -Oh, I'm so glad I got through! I'm sitting here not knowing what to do.
I find myself lacking a certain spice.
Well Polly, if you want to shake up your routine, why don't you er try something new and dangerous? Er, skydiving, belly-dancing, perhaps? That ought to add some spice.
What are you talking about?! I'm making an apple tart and I'm out of cinnamon! I see.
Listeners for the fourth time this hour I am not The Happy Chef.
I am The Irritated Psychiatrist, Dr.
Frasier Crane! We'll be right back after the news.
And while we're on the subject of tarts I'm really sorry about that call.
No, it's alright, Roz.
Why don't you just run along for your date? I can handle the last ten minutes here.
-Are you sure? -Sure! I mean, I feel terrible leaving you here alone in the lurch.
We are a team, Frasier; you just say the word and I'll stay Hey, hold that elevator! Got a minute? Oh, yes.
Er, look, I, I'm glad you're still here.
Er, listen No-no-no, me first this time.
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