Well, look who's up.
BO Y: It's my parents.
I don't know, they're just, like, really stupid.
- May I ask how old you are? - Fourteen.
Well, hang on, Jimmy.
Your parents are gonna be stupid for another seven years.
Whoa, seven years? That's, like, longer than I'll be in high school.
I salute your optimism.
We'll be right back after this.
Oh, God, Roz.
A teenager who's embarrassed by his parents? Can't you come up with something a little more challenging for me? It was either him or our old pal Rudy, the crier.
Rudy, the crier.
He's been on three times in the last month.
You put him on again, he won't be the only one who's crying.
God, I'm in a dry spell.
Where are the souls of genuine torment? The people teetering on the brink of genuine despair? Oh, they'll be back.
The holidays are just around the corner.
Well, perhaps you're right.
Oh, Roz.
- I've a question I'd like to ask you.
- Shoot.
Have you ever had a recurring dream of an intimate nature about someone Well, a coworker? - Oh, no, why'd you tell me? - Oh, Roz.
Now it's gonna be creepy every time you look at me through the glass.
Roz, not you! - Who was it then? - I'm not gonna go into specifics.
- Gina in accounting? - I'm not gonna do this.
- Oh, Sheila, the slow intern? - Forget I even mentioned it.
Knock, knock.
Gil.
Frasier, I've come to tempt you.
Really? I am reviewing the new pastry chef at Chez Shea.
And I quote: "His amaretto ëclair is so sinful, it will send you scurrying to your local padre for absolution.
" No, thank you, Gil.
I'm on a diet, you see.
- Oh, come now, you know you want it.
- No, no, no, I really don't.
Off you go.
Bye-bye.
- Oh, my God! - What? - It was Gil! - I never said that.
- Then why are you blushing? - Don't be ridiculous! - Your ears are turning red.
- I am not.
You are.
Still not blushing.
MAN [CRYING]: Just lying there in the hospital bed, she lifted her head off the pillow, looked up and said, "I love you.
" And then she was gone.
Rudy, stop crying.
Now, we've gone over this before.
What was our agreement about sad movies? - I shouldn't watch them.
- Exactly.
Now, go get a cool washcloth to try to bring down the puffiness around your eyes, and please stay away from sad or depressing things.
Which, at this moment, includes listening to the Frasier Crane Show.
Well, let's shoot it to the news.
That's it for today.
This is Dr Frasier Crane.
Oh, my God! Well, close the record books.
That was just the dullest three hours in the history of the Frasier Crane Show.
Oh, come on, it wasn't so bad.
What about the woman who was so concerned about her appearance - she wouldn't leave the house? - That was a commercial! I believe Miss Clairol solved the problem.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow, Roz.
Oh, Roz.
About that dream I mentioned to you earlier It goes without saying, I'd rather you didn't share that.
- Oh, sure.
- Hi, dream boy.
I hate you.
Couldn't keep your mouth shut, could you? Just when did you find the time to spread the news? You don't think I was listening to your show, do you? BULLDOG: Coming through! Oh, doc, I gotta rub this one in a little.
All right, Bulldog, before you start to ridicule me, yes, yes, I had a dream about Gil, and, yes, it did have some erotic elements, but You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? I do now.
Whoa! Look, let's just forget it.
What delightful jibe did you have prepared for me? Oh, I was gonna tell you your show today just broke the snooze-o-meter, but now I wanna hear about you greasing Gil's cookie sheet.
I'm on a bus to hell.
So I returned to the dry cleaners yet a third time.
I hardly need to tell you how the story ends.
Just tell me when the story ends.
Fine.
They realigned my pleats.
The end.
I'm sorry, Niles.
I'm just a bit distracted today.
See, this morning a man from my building, approached me with an intriguing problem.
Seems he's been having a recurring dream.
Please, that little gambit didn't work when we were in knee socks.
- What was your dream, Frasier? - Oh, all right.
It's been tormenting me.
I haven't been able to sleep in weeks now.
It's a bit hazy, but it starts out in a seedy motel room.
- I'm naked.
- Interesting.
Yes, well, I roll over and discover on my forearm a tattoo with the word "chesty.
" - Interesting.
- Yes.
And then the shower turns off.
Out from the bathroom steps a man.
All right, go ahead, let me have it.
Are you saying that now, or is that a quote from the dream? Please.
We're too intelligent to waste time on the obvious interpretation.
Yes.
But you must admit it's rather intriguing.
Would you stop? It's obviously screaming for a Jungian interpretation.
The sexuality in the dream is surely symbolic of some deeper non-sexual conflict.
- All right.
- Good afternoon, Frasier.
- Gil.
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