Look, we had an agreement.
We went to a movie I wanted to see, so I was supposed to pay for the ticket.
Very well, Dad.
The next time we go to a Jean-Claude Van Damme movie, not only may you pay for the tickets, but also for the wild horses it will take to drag me there.
Well, I'm only mad because we had an agreement.
Now, a man's supposed to honour his agreements.
Didn't you learn anything from that movie? Only that bullets are useless against a man who can kick really high.
Now, look, I'm serious about this.
Once in a while, I'd like to pay.
- Okay.
- MARTIN: Okay.
So the next time we go anywhere, it's on me.
Have I made my point? Yes, Dad, with all the subtlety that Mr Van Damme displayed when he jet-packed into the Vatican to subdue that nasty old pope impostor.
Like you saw that coming.
Well, Maris has finally deigned to call me back, after I've left no fewer than 20 messages.
Honestly, Niles, by calling her so many times, you give her all the power.
You're much better off coming from a position of strength.
Don't pour that sherry on your shirt.
It will stain.
- What? - I'm sorry.
I thought this was the portion of the afternoon where we gave each other patently obvious advice.
I had to call Maris for that party I'm throwing for my country club friends.
Oh, yes, the one I wasn't invited to but my Waterford punchbowl was.
Yes, well, Maris has chosen the same night to throw a party of her own.
- Couldn't you ask her to postpone? - I tried.
She's already flown in a sculptor from Sweden to capture her likeness in ice.
Ah, the perfect marriage of subject and medium.
Well, you can see my problem.
We're going to be competing now for which friends go to which party.
You know, Niles, for a separated couple still hoping to reconcile, I'm afraid you're going down a path that You shouldn't wear that tie with that jacket.
Oh, is that your clever way of telling me I'm dispensing unwanted criticism? That too.
- Hello, boys.
- Hello, Daphne.
Oh, Dr Crane.
Will you be joining us for dinner? - What a nice invitation.
I'd love to.
- Well, then, you're in for a treat.
I've decided to make Grammy Moon's famous sheep's head stew.
Oh, don't worry, the name's a bit misleading.
It's actually more of a soup.
You actually use a real sheep's head? - Oh, you have to.
It's right in here.
- Oh, my God! I just remembered, we have reservations at Le Cigare Volant! - Oh, my God, you're right! - Gee, is that tonight? I nearly forgot.
- You're going too, Mr Crane? - Well, I promised the boys.
I don't suppose there's any way you guys would let me out of this.
- Well - You promised.
MARTIN: See, I tried.
Well, have fun.
I'm off to stick my head in the oven.
[LAUGHTER] Hello? Marshall? Yeah, I got rid of them.
You bring some wine, and I'll throw the steaks on.
[RESTAURANT CHATTER] Oh, dear Lord, it's rather busy.
Well, let's keep our fingers crossed.
- Francois! - Dr Crane, bonsoir! Bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.
- Bonsoir.
This is our father, Martin Crane.
- Monsieur Crane! - How you doing? Enchante.
Francois, I'm afraid we're at your mercy tonight.
You see, we have no reservations.
- Dr Crane, I will see what I can do.
- Thank you.
Anything would be just fine.
Thank you.
You know, come to think of it, we haven't been here since Chef Joachim had his pinkie grafted back on.
Oh, then this is your first time seeing our new artwork.
He's my own discovery.
His name is Cordoba.
- Exquisite! - Stunning! My God, I don't think I've ever seen such fearless use of colour.
You know, as usual, your taste is as fine as your cuisine.
Any luck? For you, yes.
For Dr Dubin, who brings his own wine, no.
- Good man! - Monsieur, follow me, please.
- Merci bien.
- Your table is ready.
- Thank you.
- You guys go ahead.
I gotta make a little visit to "le can.
" - That's our father.
- Doctor.
- Le menu.
- Merci.
- I will be back with the wine list.
- Lovely.
Wine list? My God, he ought to bring us blindfolds.
I mean, what is he thinking with this artwork? It's appalling.
Who was it that said, "Art in restaurants is on the same level with food in museums"? The little white lies one will tell for a good table, huh? Of course, I would compliment a black velvet Elvis right now if Chef Joachim's lobster comfit were at stake.
Frasier, that's Winship Cook.
She's one of the guests Maris and I are competing over.
I'm going to go woo her.
Oh, really, Niles, why don't you just reschedule your party? I don't want to give her the satisfaction.
She's pushed me around long enough.
- All right.
- Metaphorically.
In reality, she can hardly push at all.
Hence, that terrible afternoon last spring she spent trapped in the revolving door at Bergdorf's.
I hope there's something on there you like because dinner's on me tonight.
- What do you mean, Dad? - We had an agreement.
- Next time we went out, it's my treat.
- Well, Dad, when I said that - Hup, We're not discussing it.
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