I thought your father was in charge of Christmas decorations.
Oh, no, no, not this year.
We're doing it my way.
That's why I'm ordering a tasteful tree here.
They'll even deliver it on Christmas Eve fully decorated.
- Gee, that'll be fun for Freddie.
- Frederick won't be joining me.
He's spending his vacation on an archaeological tour with Lilith.
He's spending Christmas with dried-up old bones? Yes, I thought I told you.
She's taking him on an archaeological tour.
Oh, good Lord, look how late it's gotten.
Well, don't blame me.
You're the one who spent 20 minutes looking for that candleholder thing.
No, no, no.
It's a menorah, Roz.
Thought I'd get one for Frederick for Hanukkah.
Oh, that's right.
I completely forgot Frederick is half Jewish.
Yes, between the Crane boy genes and Lilith's contribution, I'm not sure the NFL is holding its breath.
I need to go over to Notions and try to find something for Calvin, - the security guard.
- What are you getting him? If I knew, I wouldn't be going to Notions.
Excuse me.
I'd like to get a gift for that woman I was with.
- How about this sweater right here? - Excellent choice.
I'm not sure of the size.
Could you find me this in a medium? Thank you.
- It's a madhouse in there.
- Roz! People pushing and shoving for nose-hair clippers.
Is there a nasal hair epidemic I don't know about? Here's your sweater.
- Is he talking to you? - No, no, no, he's talking to He's talking to me.
It's for my niece.
But I'm a bit worried about the size.
You know, she's just about your height.
Do you mind my asking, would this fit you? That's a little big for me.
- What about the colour? A little blah? - Personally, I like the blue.
I agree.
Thank you so much.
I will take a smaller size in the blue, and please gift-wrap it.
- Coming right up.
- It looks like Notions has thinned out.
Oh, good.
So you think Calvin will like the nose hair clippers? I think we can be sure he doesn't own a pair.
Gosh, thank you so much for bailing me out that way.
My pleasure.
Helen.
- Helen? Frasier.
- Not Frasier Crane? - From the radio show? - Yes.
I listen to you every time I come to Seattle to visit my daughter Faye.
Well, that's very kind.
You know, you really should know your wife's size.
- Oh, she's not my wife.
- I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to pry.
- It's all right.
- Girlfriend? No, I don't have a girlfriend, actually.
I'm unattached.
Well, I've taken enough of your time.
Although, there is one small thing you could help me with.
I'm looking for something for my daughter.
Oh, what is it? - No, I really shouldn't ask you.
- No, no, please.
No, no, it's too much of an imposition.
No, no, the way you came to my rescue, I'd be delighted to help you.
What is it you're looking to get for your daughter? A date with a nice unattached doctor.
Well, I certainly walked into that one, didn't I? It wasn't my first time.
As soon as this woman gets here, give me five minutes and call me on my cell phone.
If I am miserable, I will simply say it's an emergency and excuse myself.
Yes, the ever-valuable escape call.
Oh, you've done them? No, but I've seen them done.
Excuse me, are you Frasier? Faye? Yes, well, hello.
How did you know it was me? You had that horror-stricken look of someone who's met my mother.
No, please, please.
Shall we? That's sweet of you, but you don't have to go through with this.
I just came to apologise.
No, please.
Please, why don't you sit down? Hey, Dr.
Crane.
Are you here with your brother? No, actually, he's on a blind date.
Oh, he is, isn't he? Oh, look at him.
I think he really fancies her.
You know, it's always so obvious when a man likes a woman.
You can just tell by his awkward body language.
Shifting in his chair, he doesn't know quite what to do with his hands.
He's as nervous as a hen.
Oh, for God's sakes, stop fidgeting! So your mother tells me that you're a lawyer.
Well, that's typical.
I was a lawyer and I quit two years ago and now I'm a pastry chef.
- Really? - Yes.
I work in a French restaurant in town.
Maybe you've heard of it.
Le Cigare Volant? It's one of my favourites.
I had dinner there last Friday.
I worked Friday.
What did you have? - The Grand Marnier soufflé.
- I made that! - Well, it was poetry on a plate.
- Thank you.
You didn't happen to find my earring in it, did you? I'm kidding.
You know, suddenly I'm glad that your mother is as pushy as she is.
It's funny, though, you're nothing like her.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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