Well, I'd better be heading out.
Niles and I are meeting for dinner.
And then we have tickets - to the theatrical event of the season.
- Really? Yes.
Sir Trevor Ainsley in Tears of the Mariner.
It promises to be a very exciting evening.
You see, Seattle is Sir Trevor's last stop on his farewell tour.
After this, he's retiring from the stage forever.
Tears of the Mariner.
I think I read a review of that.
I thought it was one of those baseball stories like Pride of the Yankees.
But it's just about some crabby old sailor stuck in this little town No, no, Dad, please.
I have carefully avoided all the reviews of this play.
I don't wanna hear about it before I see it.
Well, I don't wanna hear about it after you see it.
- Oh, hello, Daphne.
- Hey, Daph.
That's it? "Hello, Daphne"? Haven't you seen the paper? No, I glanced at it.
Why? Did I miss something? Look.
- Oh, my gosh.
Is that you? - Yes.
Good heavens.
Well, it's kind of hard to tell.
You've got your back turned to the camera and your skirt's blown up around your Oh, well, it must have been rather blustery out.
I was in the park yesterday.
This photographer snapped my picture for the "It's Your Seattle" column.
The one where they show some average person out and about, then use their name on the column.
If they took a picture of Mr.
Crane, the caption would read, "Martin Crane's Seattle.
" If they took one of you, it would say, "Frasier Crane's" Yes, we get it.
Don't crinkle it.
I want to send it home to my family.
- You sure about that? - Oh, don't be such an old fogy.
So I'm bending down and me knickers are showing a bit, but my family will still be as proud as peacocks when they see that.
"Daphne Moon's Seattle.
" She certainly does.
Niles, will you just stop it? The dinner was just fine.
It was not fine.
I made those reservations weeks ago.
They seated us so close to the kitchen I'm surprised they didn't make us wear hairnets.
- I'm sure it was just a mix-up.
- Not a mix-up.
It's part of an alarming trend I've noticed - since Maris and I parted company.
- Oh, Niles.
Last week, Roberta Phipps snubbed me at the opera.
I wasn't even invited to that gala fundraiser for Saint Andrew's Orphanage.
You can still send money to the children.
As usual, you've missed the point.
I'm being shut out.
It is as if someone snuck into my world and changed all the locks.
Oh, Niles.
Well, at least you don't have to worry about that tonight.
- After you.
- Thank you.
Evening.
Tickets, please.
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
These aren't for this performance.
- What? - What? But they say for the 16th.
There's the 16th right there.
- That's today.
- Yes, sir.
They were for the matinee.
No, no, this had to be some mistake.
Let me just - Oh, dear God.
- I'm so sorry, Niles.
Well, surely you must hold some tickets aside for emergencies.
- We'll take anything, anything at all.
- Yes, yes, even mezzanine.
If you like, you can try your luck in the cancellation line.
How could this happen? I have to see this play.
I have to have people see me see this play.
- If I'm not seen seeing this play, see - Niles, Niles.
I will make a simple phone call, and we'll get house seats for tomorrow night.
- All right? - I suppose so.
Come on, let's go.
The last thing I need is to have someone see us loitering here like gutter riffraff, pathetically scrounging for last-minute tickets.
Good luck.
- Oh, Niles.
- Hello.
I know I'm early.
I was hoping we might get a bite to eat.
Actually, Niles It'll be on me as a thank-you for getting those replacement tickets.
- About the tickets - I know I owe you money.
And my gratitude, and if I keep talking, you won't be able to tell me you weren't able to get the tickets.
- I haven't been able to get them yet.
- I knew you wouldn't get them.
- Niles, please.
- It's too late.
It's 6:00.
Please just calm down.
I've made a few well-placed calls.
I haven't heard back from a couple of people.
Someone will call.
Well, someone better call, because everyone who's anyone is seeing this play.
You know who you are if you're not anyone? You're no one.
And I've been someone much too long to start being no one now.
Oh, hey, I thought no one was here.
Niles, please, just relax.
One way or another, we are going to get tickets.
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