Until tomorrow, then, this is Dr.
Frasier Crane wishing you Hmm? Oh, yes.
Be sure to tune in later for the final broadcast of KACL's lovable curmudgeon, Chester Ludgate.
You know, most of us here at the station were surprised to hear that he was retiring.
I, for one, thought he'd never leave.
(sighs) So, should we order a pizza? Hmm? Sorry? Those PSAs you promised you'd help me with are due tomorrow.
Oh, gosh, Roz, I really am sorry.
You know, it seems Mrs.
Delafield's daughter is coming here to join us as an intern.
I promised Kenny I'd show her around and take her to dinner.
Oh, so while I'm working late, eating my vending machine dinner, you'll be out having a gourmet meal with some cute, rich girl? Oh, you can make anything sound unfair.
Hey, Doc.
Kenny.
And whom have we here? Dr.
Frasier Crane, I'd like you to meet Miss Poppy Delafield.
Well, got to run.
Poppy.
What a pleasure to meet the daughter of our beloved station owner.
Well so, what brings you to KACL, hmm? Well I was in Paris last month-- or was it Madrid? No.
Paris-- and I said to myself "that's enough gallivanting for you, young lady.
"It's time you get a job.
" So, I flew home and asked my mother, Mummy, if I could nose around and see if some job, you know, spoke to me at one of her TV stations or radio stations or newspapers but not her brewery-- thank you very much! So, here I am.
Uh-huh.
Sleeves rolled up, ready to learn.
Well, good for you.
Is this where you do your show?! Yes, it is Of course it is.
There's your mike right in front of me.
Earth to Poppy! Oh, there's Gil.
I met him earlier.
Hi, Gil! Hey Um Nice man.
I think it's marvelous what you do-- to really help people, unlike the psychiatrists I've been to, both of whom had some sort of-- I don't know-- narcolepsy.
I sympathize.
But if you can't stay awake, don't be a psychiatrist! But to do what you do, to face that microphone day after day and know that for the next three hours you're going to have to talk and talk and talk I could not do it! I would freeze! Literally freeze! (phone ringing) I mean Excuse me.
Hello? Yes.
Yes, Dad.
All right, all right, calm down, calm down.
Was there much blood? Oh, my gosh! All right, Dad, I'll be there as soon as I can.
Hang on a second.
I'm terribly sorry.
There's a small emergency at home.
I'm going to have to pass on dinner.
May I take a rain check? Oh, and we were having such a nice chat.
Yes, well, I Oh, this is Roz Doyle, my producer.
You know, Roz, I'll gladly do those promos if you would be so kind as to take Poppy to dinner and answer her questions.
Sure! If you don't get bored listening to me drone on about radio.
Oh, I don't think there's much chance of that.
Eddie, come on, get in here.
What the hell's happening? Well remember last week when Eddie killed his first rat how proud I was? I told you that story, right? Yes, Dad, you told us.
If you'd had a guitar, you'd have written a ballad.
Well, we were just down in the basement, and I saw another rat.
I said, "Go get him, boy.
" So, just as he picked him up, had him in his teeth, shaking the life out of him, I hear this little bell tinkling.
And I thought, "Well, that's funny.
Rats don't wear bells.
" Oh, my God, little Robbie Greenberg's missing hamster.
Yes, I read that flyer.
He was offering a ten-dollar reward.
Well, the most we can claim at this point is about $6.
50.
Oh, my! You know what? Dad, this is actually your fault, you know.
If you hadn't encouraged him after he killed his first rat, he wouldn't have moved on to murdering hamsters.
Well, what are you talking about? We don't know it was Eddie who killed him.
He might have had a heart attack or-or some kind of seizure when he bounced off the boiler.
(doorbells rings) (groans) Niles.
Prepare to whoop like a sweepstakes winner.
Cancel our dinner.
I've scored us two seats, front row, for the event of the season.
You mean? Yes! But I know.
Niles! I love it when they do it this way.
I can pretend it's a Seahawks game.
My God! No, Dad! It's for the Cecilia Bartoli concert.
My God, it's been sold out for months! How on earth did you ever score these tickets? I simply phoned the box office and said, "This is Niles Crane, the new arts critic forThe Monocle.
" (Frasier gasping) DAPHNE: The Monocle? Isn't that that magazine they hand out to rich people in all the snootiest apartment buildings? And the snootiest hotels.
How did this happen, Niles? I was at a party thrown by the publisher, Olga Swarbreck.
Mm-hmm, yes.
The pretentious fop who had the job before me was there, too, spouting sheer drivel about Leonard Bernstein.
Being polite, I kept my tongue sheathed, until he referred to Bernstein's conducting as "overrated.
" I assume you pounced! Like a ninja! By the time I'd finished with him, Olga could see I was a far better critic than that arrogant poseur.
She fired him right there? Well, he was leaving anyway for his junior year abroad.
Well, I suppose that congratulations are in order.
You know, who would have thought, my little brother, a professional music critic.
Oh, oh, and not just music.
I can review anything I want: Theater, dance, art exhibits.
You don't say? Yes.
From now on wherever we go, I'll be armed with my trusty pad and pen light.
Wherever we go.
What fun! (chuckling): Yes.
I have to take a damp cloth to these opera glasses-- although I don't know what we use them for sitting in the front row.
Unless it's to scan the faces of the jealous people behind us.
So are you, uh, sure you're okay with Niles getting this critic job? Why wouldn't I be, Dad? Oh, come on, I know what it's like with you two when one of you gets something that the other one doesn't have.
It's just like when you were kids.
Niles had a telescope, you had to have a telescope.
You got that funny-looking guitar, Niles had Dad, it was called a lute.
Yeah, oh, yeah.
Okay.
Dad, believe me, I do not envy Niles his critic's job.
But as kids, we would aggravate the situation by flaunting our toys in each other's faces.
We're much more mature than that now.
All right? Niles, you know what? It's about time we got going.
We don't want to be late for the curtain.
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