Horsy to Pointy Guy Six.
Check.
Get him, boys! Good move.
Brannigan Begins Again Good news.
We have a mission to further|intergalactic peace.
- Nope.
Watching cartoons.
|- Sorry.
What's the mission? A delivery for the Democratic|Order of Planets.
What's that? It's like the United Nations|from your time, Fry.
Or like the Federation|from Star Trek.
Tonight's the ribbon cutting|for DOOP's new base.
- What are we delivering?|- Something necessary to the ceremony.
- The oversized scissors.
|- We'll deliver them as fast as we can.
Okay.
But don't run with them! Wow, a million aliens.
I've never seen|anything so mind-blowing! - A reception table with muffins!|- Ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to the ribbon cutting|for the DOOP's new headquarters.
A fitting home for an organization|that fosters peace everywhere.
Even between the Insectoids|and the Space Lizards.
- What's it like on Amazonia?|- Big rats there.
- Me crush with club.
|- That's so interesting.
Why don't we have coffee together? There's no better place|for a home of diplomacy than here orbiting|the Neutral Planet.
What are your thoughts,|Your Neutralness? I have no strong feelings one way|or the other.
I hate these filthy Neutrals.
|You know where enemies stand.
But with Neutrals, who knows?|It sickens me.
Halt! Why, Leela!|I do believe we've met.
- He means you guys did it.
|- We brought scissors for the ceremony.
- Then you're under arrest.
|- Why? How do I know these aren't part|of a Neutral plot? They're not sharp.
Who could I hurt? The Yarn People of Nylar Four.
So a plan to assassinate|a weird-looking alien with scissors.
How very Neutral of you.
- What?|- It was almost the perfect crime.
But you forgot one thing:|Rock crushes scissors.
But paper covers rock.
|And scissors cuts paper.
Kif, we have a conundrum.
|Search them for paper.
- And bring me a rock.
|- Why? So beautiful, yet so Neutral.
Drag them to the ship! To cut the ribbon, the legendary|DOOP captain who just returned from a|carpet-bombing of Eden Seven Zapp Brannigan.
What makes a man turn Neutral?|Lust for gold? Power? Or were you born|with a heart of Neutrality? Sir? You should be cutting|the ribbon now.
No matter.
I'll simply cut it|from here with the ship's laser.
That may not be wise.
Kif, I don't need your|that-may-not-be-wise attitude.
Whoopsie-daisy.
You are accused of blowing up|DOOP headquarters.
How do you plead? - Absolutely 99 percent not guilty.
|- The prosecutor will call a witness.
Your Honor, I'm a simple hyper-chicken|from a backwoods asteroid but if it please the court,|I'll call the entire jury.
- I'll allow it.
|- Members of the jury did you all happen to gander at who blew up that there|DOOP headquarters? That's the guy there.
- Are you gonna vote to convict him?|- You better believe it.
The jury will disregard its testimony.
Your Honor, the prosecution rests.
The evidence against Brannigan|is strong.
But, in light of his service,|and this incompetent prosecutor l'm afraid I must dismiss|all charges.
What? Your Honor, I know the case|is closed and you've given a verdict but I want to testify.
|- I'll allow it.
Miss Leela, on the date in question were you or weren't you|wearing a skirt? That's a dumb question.
What matters|is Zapp's the worst captain ever.
I saw him blow up DOOP headquarters|with my own eye.
- I'd like to cross-examine.
|- I'll allow it.
- We've met before, have we not?|- Yes.
On that occasion,|you had sex with someone? - May I remind you, you're under oath.
|- Yes.
Please point out the person|you had sex with.
- And his name is?|- Zapp Brannigan.
The same man who didn't blow up|DOOP headquarters.
I rest my case.
Jury members, you may begin|your deliberations.
Your Honor, we have reached a verdict.
We find the defendant guilty.
You are hereby stripped|of your rank and dismissed from the DOOP.
I'd like to make one final statement.
Kif, come and hold up the flag.
Wave it a little, for God's sake.
You can take away a man's title|and his uniform.
But you can't take away|his integrity and honor.
- Plus, it was Kif's fault.
|- What? You too are stripped of your rank and dishonorably discharged.
One day a man has everything.
Then he blows up a $400 billion|space station.
Next he has nothing.
Makes you think.
- No, it doesn't.
|- Come, Kif.
It's time to begin our life as|civilians.
That's an order, soldier! - Hey, Bender?|- Yeah? This is the third hose fight|I've broken up.
And the second one with real hoses.
Move your asses and scrub|the ship like I ordered! - You don't have to get so mad.
|- Fry wiped off some of the dirt.
- Zapp?|- I didn't know where else to turn.
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