Ladies and gentlemen, We now return to cash wheel sponsored by chipackerz.
The chip-flavored crackers! They taste just like chips! Congratulations! You're taking a.
Cash shower! I like that guy's style.
Mr.
Pines! We got tourists at nine o'clock! A whole busload of 'em! Hot tamales! It's a jackpot! Soos, make some new attractions! You got it, boss.
Wendy, mark up those prices! The higher, the better! Higher! Bleed 'em dry! Sheesh, grunkle Stan, It's like when you look at tourists All you see are wallets with legs.
That's not true.
Thanks for taking me to the mystery shack, daddy.
Ha ha! Now, don't spend yourself all in one place.
I'm feeling car sick.
Clean-up on the front lawn! Ladies and gentletourists, Looking around my mystery shack, you'll see many wondrous roadside attractions.
Be amazed at the only known photo of a horse riding another horse.
That's--that's pretty good.
Ooh! Wow! Be astounded by the horrible pre-teen wolf boy! Oh, look at him! All that hair! His body is changing! Aaah! Grunkle Stan, this is demeaning.
What?! I don't know "Da meaning" of that word.
If you throw money at him he dances.
Ow! Hey! Ha ha ha! Ooh! Ha ha! Thank you! Behold! Mystery shack bumper stickers! You can stick 'em on your bumper or Over your husband's mouth.
Am I right, ladies? She knows what I'm talkin' about.
You are bad.
How much? Hey, it's on the house.
That's the Mabel difference.
- Thanks for visiting! - What?! What the heck do you think you're doing? Business! Ching, ching, ching! Listen, kid, you don't make money by giving stuff away.
- You're off of register duty! - But--but-- No "Buts" except yours out the door! Now shut your yap and get to work! Grunkle Stan, whatever happened to "Please" And "Thank you"? Hmm? Oh, wait.
Here they are! "Please" Never made me any money, kid.
In fact, just saying the word is giving me a burning sensation.
Grunkle Stan, why do I have to wear this wolf costume? I think I'm getting hookworm.
Ha ha! Yep, gluing dog hair to your body will do that.
You have all these dumb fake exhibits in the shack.
Meanwhile, I've seen actual amazing things in the forest every day.
What if you hunted down a real attraction instead of lying to people for a living? And you should be nicer to your employees, too.
Yeah! Look, you guys got a problem with how I run the shack, Take it up with the complaints department.
Zing! Ha ha ha! I am going to write them such a letter! And don't stop till you've covered that sign with glitter! Glittery signs attract tourists! Also large birds.
Ha ha! That's funny.
Okay, is it just me, or is having grunkle Stan as a boss seriously the worst? I know, right? Why do we even put up with it? I tried to give him a suggestion to improve the shack once.
I had this idea where I could be, like, the mystery shack mascot-- "Questiony the question mark.
" I ask people questions, You know, do the question dance That sounds amazing! - Oh, cool! - Yeah, totally! Yeah, well, Stan said I couldn't handle it.
He said what?! And remember, folks, We put the "Fun" In "No refunds"! Ha ha! Suckers.
You! Grunkle Stan, you've gone too far this time! Did you seriously tell Soos not to follow his hopes and dreams because he "Couldn't handle it"? Look, kid, let me break it down for you.
Being a boss is about commanding respect.
If you give people everything they ask for, they'll walk all over ya.
No way! I bet you'd make way more money being nice than being a big, grumpy grump to everyone all the time.
Ha! You think you know more about business than I do? You think you could wear this hat? Yeah, because I give people respect.
And glittery stickers.
Ha! I'd make more money on vacation than you would running this place! Then why don't you go on vacation? Interesting.
All right, I'm a wagering man.
Three days.
72 hours.
You run the shack, and I'll go on vacation.
If you make more money than me, I guess it means you're right about the way I run my business.
But if you lose, You gotta wear this "Loser" Shirt all summer.
Ha ha! Fine! But if I win, I get to be the boss for the rest of the summer! Plus, you have to sing an apologizing song with lyrics by me, Mabel.
Oh ho! You got yourself a deal, missy! No, you got yourself a deal! - Deal! Deal! - Deal! Deal! Deal.
See you in 72 hours! Ha ha! We'll see who makes more money.
Mabel, did you just make a bet with a professional con man? Oh, come on.
Being a better boss than Stan will be a cinch.
Profits, here we come! - You broke the jar.
- We'll get a new one.
I guess I shouldn't be too worried.
I mean, how much money could Stan even make on vacation? Can I help you, sir? I'm here to take all the cash from your wheel.
You wanted to see us, mr.
Pines? Stan is no longer with us.
He's dead?! No! It should have been me! Whoa, Soos.
Stan's not dead.
He's on vacation for three days.
We made a bet.
Thank you for that clarification.
Mabel's in charge now! Are those shoulder pads? Uh-huh! It's just one of the many up-to-date managerial tricks I learned from this book I found propping up the kitchen table.
Why does your mug say "NO.
2"? Because the real NO.
1 is you.
- Yeah, I get it.
- Morale! Walk with me.
With me as boss, you're gonna notice a few changes around here.
My job is to help you be your best "Selves.
" Satisfied.
Everyday.
Loving life.
Very much.
Everyday.
Satisfied.
Great listening here so far! Waddles, hold my calls.
All right, people, now rap with me.
Wendy, how can I make your workspace more Wendy-friendly? Hmm.
Well, Stan never lets me hang out with friends at work.
Stan ain't here, sister! Door's open! Sweet! And Soos,I believe this is yours.
Questiony the question mark? I wish this was an exclamation point to show how excited I am.
As for you, Dipper Die, wolf costume, die! I want you to head into those woods and don't come back until you've found an amazing attraction! Finally! Time to show Stan how a real mystery hunter does it! Dipper out! Okay, guys, it's time to prove that nice bosses finish first.
In the next 48 hours, we're gonna fill up this jar with six hundred billion dollars! Yeah! Yeah! Wait.
Do you know how money works? Of course.
Waddles, run down to the shop and grab me a latte.
He's a hungry little guy.
Ahh.
This line is taking forever.
Time to use my old man powers.
Aaah! I'm having a heart attack! And the only cure is to be a contestant on-- On cash wheel! Oh! Someone give me a part! I'm old.
Should we escort him off the lot? That man is a self-centered attention hog with no regard for human decency.
Get him on tv! Whoa, yeah, come on girl Shoulder pads Make that money Mabel's the boss now Walk in, girl Show them boys - Make that money - Time cards.
Time cards.
Time cards.
Boss, boss, boss, boss, boss! It's beautiful! Wow, this is some freak show you got.
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