Thirty long years and it's all led up to this.
My greatest achievement! Probably should have worn pants.
Agh! Feisty, I like it.
If I finally pull this off, it will all have been worth it.
I just need to keep playing it cool.
If anyone ever finds out about this Yeah, right.
I've come this far.
Who could possibly catch me now? See there, there it is again.
We haven't seen readings like this for 30 years.
Is it coming from deep space? An enemy weapons site? Just as I suspected.
Gentlemen, we're going to Gravity Falls.
Oh, right.
Show time.
Welcome to the grand re-opening of the Mystery Shack! Mystery Shack! We're here to celebrate the defeat of that skunk little Gideon.
Boo! Please, please, boo harder.
Boo! But I didn't catch that pork chop all alone.
These two scams deserve some of the glory.
Oh! Okay, okay.
Most of the glory.
Smile for the camera.
Your camera's a cinder block, Toby.
I just want to be a part of things.
Smile for a real camera.
Everyone say "something stupid.
" Something stupid! And don't forget to come to the after party tonight at 8:00.
We're doing a karaoke bonanza, people.
Lights! Music! Enchantment! Phoo! And an amazing karaoke performance by our family band, Love Patrol Alpha.
Oh, I don't know about that.
I would never agree to that ever.
Too late, I wrote your names on the list.
It's happening.
Buy your ticket, people.
You know you don't have anything else going on in your lives.
I'm talking to you, pizza guy.
Don't lame out on me.
Ha! The town loves us.
We finally got that Gideon smell out of the carpet.
Everything is finally going my way.
Hey, Grunkle Stan, now that we have a moment, I've been meaning to ask you for my journal back.
What? Journal? Oh, you mean this old thing? It was so boring I couldn't even finish it.
You didn't see nothing.
Wait, you're just gonna give it to me? Just like that? What else do you want? A kiss on the cheek? I-- I got to go.
Whoa! I wouldn't mind a kiss on the cheek.
Not gonna happen.
Mabel, we've got to talk.
Almost losing my journal made me realize that I'm halfway through the summer and still no closer to figuring out the big mysteries of Gravity Falls.
Gideon almost destroyed the town to get his hands on this journal.
But why? Who wrote it? Where are all the other journals? What was Bill talking about when he said everything was going to change? There's something huge going on right under our noses.
And it's time we stop goofing around and get to the bottom of it.
Bro, you've looked at that thing, like, a bazillion times.
There's nothing left to discover.
Half the pages are blank, remember? I just feel like I'm one puzzle piece away from figuring out everything.
Don't worry, Dipper.
Lord Mystery Ham is on the case.
"I play by me own rules! What? What?" I don't know why I tell you things.
Do you hear that? Hey, Mr.
Pines, what's that code word I'm supposed to yell when I see a government vehicle? Wait, what? Government vehicle? The Mystery Shack is now closed.
Everybody out! I will not hesitate to use the hose on the elderly.
Uncle Stan, what's happening? Yeah, you never shut down the gift shop.
Welcome to the Mystery Shack, gentlemen.
What can I get you? Key chains? Snow globes? These rare photos of American Presidents? My name is Agent Powers.
This is Agent Trigger.
We're here to investigate reports of mysterious activity in this town.
Activity.
Mysterious activity in the Mystery Shack? You got to be joking.
I assure you I am not.
I was born with a rare disorder that makes me physically incapable of experiencing humor.
I don't understand that sound you're making with your mouth.
Now if you'll excuse us, we're conducting an investigation.
Investigation.
Wait, wait.
Did you guys say you're investigating the mysteries of this town? That information is classified.
But, yes.
Look, between you and me, I believe there is a conspiracy of paranormal origin all connected to this town.
We're just one small lead away from blowing the lid off this entire mystery.
Are you kidding me? I'm investigating the exact same thing.
I found this journal in the woods which has almost all the answers.
If we work together, we could crack the case.
If you have evidence of these claims, we should talk.
We can talk right now.
Please, please, come in.
I have so much to show you.
I'm sorry, agents.
Kid has an overactive imagination and, like, a sweating problem.
Zing! Paranormal town stuff, it's just part of gift shop lore.
Sells more tickets, you know.
Pop-poro-po-po.
Swag.
We have other spots to investigate.
We'll be on our way.
I'm confiscating this for evidence.
Smart move.
Wait! No, wait! We have so much to talk about.
Hold it, kiddo.
Trust me, the last thing you want around here in a party is cops.
I'm confiscating that card.
And how's about you go be a normal kid? Flirt with a girl, or steal a pie off a windowsill.
But, Grunkle Stan, you don't understand.
And don't go talking to those agents.
That could have been my big break.
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