You party without me, dudes.
Wait, what about your presents? Yay-uh.
So that's why Soos hates his birthday.
It's the day he realized his dad wasn't coming back.
So how much partying can fix that? Dorks.
Young Robbie.
Ay, Soos' father is a dead-beat.
_ Soos, I made you cookies shaped like dinosaurs.
I don't want cookies.
I want to see dad again.
And he wants to see you.
He's just busy.
- Busy in New Orleans? - Ay.
Yes.
Trust me, you will feel better one day.
- Ohh, this is awful.
- We promised Soos a happy birthday, but how can we give him that now? This goes beyond anything we know how to fix.
- This way! - Mabel, hide! They've got to be around here somewhere.
I think I heard them! Freeze! Trace their chrono-signatures.
Man, the sooner I defeat those kids in Globnar, the sooner I can win my time wish.
Tell you what I'd do if I had a time wish.
Retire early, spend more time with the kids.
Nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah with the kids?! Don't you know a time wish can literally do anything? Any impossible problem solved, just like that.
I mean, imagine the possibilities.
Wait, Mabel, that's it, the time wish.
If we defeat Blendin in that space battle Then we can wish that Soos' dad came to his 12th birthday.
And Soos' birthdays would be fixed forever all of them! But do you really think we can win Globnar? It's the only chance we have.
Besides, it's for Soos.
He would do the same for us.
Here we are, Blendin.
We surrender.
- It's them! - Freeze! Careful, they're from the past.
They might have powder muskets or slap bracelets.
Look, guys, no tricks this time.
We're ready to challenge you, okay? Yes! Let the Globnar begin.
Prepare for Globnar!!! Hey, turns out I can mute him.
- Man, I wish we'd known that earlier.
- Initializing.
Globnar! Globnar! Globnar! Globnar! Silence! Whoo! Oh, yeah! That is one big baby.
Welcome, Globnar tributes.
I have a very important nap to get to, so let's make this quick.
You each have a chance to settle your time-feud through gladiatorial combat.
You will have until time baby finishes drinking the cosmic sand in this hourglass.
No! Come on.
It's good for you.
Get ready, kids.
When I get that time wish, you'll wish you were never born.
Or rather, you'll wish you were born, because I'm gonna wish you were never born! - Dream on! There's two of us.
- And we have hair! Oh oh, yeah? Well, I have training! What do you think I did in prison all that time? Uh-oh.
Let the Globnar begin! Yeah! Globnar! Very good.
You have escaped the Cyclocks.
Yes! Blendin for the almost-win! There is only one final challenge for Globnar.
An ancient game, thousands of years old, chosen for its exemplification of pure strategy.
The ancient art of Laser Tag! The one who touches the victory orb first will win.
Laser Tag? Seriously? Oh, I know it doesn't seem that challenging now, but just wait until they turn on that fog machine.
You'll be done for.
- You just wait until you - Hit.
Hit, hit, hit, hit.
- Oh, man.
- Mabel, grab the orb! Got it.
It is finished! No! - No! No! - Yes! Yes! You have made victory in Globnar.
Before I give you your time wish, tell us what fate do you decide for the loser? - Oh, jeez.
- Death! - Mabel.
- Sorry.
Got carried away.
So Blendin did try to wish us out of existence, but it was kind of our fault for ruining his life.
Yeah, and he's kind of too sad to be a real bad guy.
Maybe if we treat him right in the present, he'll turn out better in the future.
Okay, as long as you keep an eye on him, we'd like to set Blendin free and restore his position at the time anomaly correction unit.
- And give him pretty hair.
- So be it.
What? You'd do that for me? I got my job back! I feel like hugging somebody.
- I can kill you in eight different ways.
- Yes, sir.
Now, children, what is it that you want for your time wish? Thank you, but the wish isn't for us.
Not you? But then who? Who is worthy to receive such power? Dipper? Mabel? Ah, who am I kidding? I'm not up for this.
Heads, I stay.
Tails, I go make myself some dinosaur shaped cookies.
Huh.
That's unconventional.
- Soos! - Guys! We're so sorry we left you hanging, dude.
We got caught up in this time travel junk.
And there was a time cyclops.
And don't forget about the - time race.
- Time race.
But the point is, Soos, we think we know how to fix your birthday.
Whoa.
Really? Wait, you guys did all of that for me? And that's not all.
Behold your time wish, the power to alter time, paradox-free, in any way you choose.
We think the only thing that can make you happy - is meeting your dad.
- But the choice is yours.
You mean, I can finally see my dad by touching this thing? And you guys battled through time and space just to get this for me? What are you waiting for, Soos? All right.
Here goes nothing.
- Wait, what? - What the Bam! Fixed you up.
Enjoy, dudes.
But, Soos, what about meeting your dad? Well, birthdays are supposed to be spent with the people who care about you.
But you know what? That dude didn't care about me enough to visit me once, let alone fight monsters through time and space like you dudes.
I mean, you had a gladiator fight just to make me happy.
I've been being ridiculous this whole time.
Whoever my dad was, he could take a hike.
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