17. Alternate Histories (第1季)【完整台词】

Welcome to Multiversity, America's leading Alternative History Research App.

Multiversity lets you modify any historical fact and witness virtual simulations of how history would change.

Take, for example, one of our most popular requests: the death of Adolf Hitler.

Now, let's change the date.

Six alternate time lines are included on this welcome demo.

We hope you enjoy.

Death scenario number one.

Argh! Ugh! Killed during a brawl on the steps of the Academy of Fine Arts.

Result: World War I proceeds.

The Weimar Republic begins late.

World War II delayed until 1948.

- US drops atomic bomb on Berlin in 1952.

- Yee-ha! Neil Armstrong, first man on the moon, 1969.

Death scenario number two.

Killed by run-away horse-drawn wagon filled with bratwurst.

Result: Vienna passes tough horse-drawn vehicle laws, prompting the quick acceptance of automobiles.

Austria becomes automotive industrial powerhouse.

World War I proceeds.

Germany and allies win thanks to technological advances.

The '30s worldwide depression averted.

Willy Brandt, first man on the moon, 1958.

Death scenario number three.

Killed by suffocation when encased in a block of gelatin.

Hitler is the random victim of a gelatin-encasing weapon developed by the Russian aristocracy.

Result: The gelatin-encasing weapon is subsequently used to eliminate enemies of Tsar Nicholas II.

World War I begins with the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand.

World War I quickly ends in 1915.

Russia becomes sole superpower.

Vladimir Putin, first real man on the moon, 1988.

Death scenario number four.

Killed by marathon fornication with four Viennese prostitutes.

Result: The prostitutes are all arrested, only to be revealed as libidinous travelers from a very sexy parallel dimension who teach the Viennese their multi-dimensional ways of astro-pleasure.

Janine Lindemulder, first woman on the moon, 1996.

Death scenario number five.

Killed by a meteor strike square on the head.

The meteor was a precursor to a massive asteroid cruising towards Earth.

It makes impact a few hours later.

Result: Humanity wiped out, along with 93% of all species.

A society of rats rises, evolves, becomes a perfect democracy only to discover nationalism and develop weapons of mass destruction, which work as intended, destroying the world again allowing the rise of a peaceful squid civilization.

Gluugsnergluug.

First squid on the moon 2,973,412.

Death scenario number six.

Hi, Hitler.

Die! Caught in the crossfire between time-traveling anti-Nazis sent to back to kill him and time-traveling Nazis sent back to prevent his assassination finally saved by his future self, Hitler forgets the first rule of time travel: "Never touch your doppelganger.

" Killed by space-time paradox.

Result: Causality loop annihilates time and space and destroys all life in the uni Oops! Sorry about that.

Thank you for choosing Multiversity! Now, it's your time to make history.