13. Fifteen Percent (第1季)【完整台词】

Can people change? Well, that's a- That is a tough one, but I would say yes.

People can change.

That's what I believe anyway, and I will till the day I die.

You do realize you're proving the exact opposite of your point? See? She's changed.

She used to be very supportive of me.

[Beep] [Claire] Come on.

[Beeps] - [TV, Loud] - Aah! Phil! - Ow! Ow! Why is it so loud? - My ears are bleeding! Why is it so loud? I don't know! Make it stop! I just installed a sweet home theater system in the family room.

The, um- The trouble is Claire struggles with technology of any kind.

I mean, remotes, cell phones, computers.

Haley, have you seen my blue- [Exhales] [On Monitor] Hey, Mrs.

Dunphy.

Oh, hey, Dylan.

You know I can see you, right? No, I did not know that.

Haley's just in the bathroom.

She'll be back in just a minute.

Thank you.

Where were you pointing it? At the TV.

[Laughs] This- Honey- Uh, no.

I'm sorry.

It's-It's a home theater.

What, so I can't point it at the TV when I want to watch the TV? No.

You point it at the receiver.

What's a receiver? Okay, imagine our home theater system is a human body.

So then the receiver is the brain.

Mm-hmm.

The TV is the face.

I know what part you are.

[Jay] So he says to his wife, "You don't love me anymore?" His heart- boom! Quadruple bypass.

[Others Laughing] Blown a valve.

Hey! Look who it is.

- Hey.

There he is.

- What a coinkydink.

I was just getting some flowers for Gloria for babysitting Lily.

You want me to take 'em to her? I would, but I have the most hilarious card for her at home.

It's- It's a hunky Antonio Banderas type in silk boxers.

And on the inside, it says, "Thank you for last noche, but I can't find my pantalones.

" [Laughing] I'm not doing it justice, really.

Hi.

I'm Cameron.

Oh, geez.

I'm sorry.

Guys, this is Cameron.

- He's a friend of my son's.

- [Man] Hey.

This is, uh, Scotty, Dale, Hugo and Shorty.

It's nice to meet you guys.

You guys look like a scene out of Jersey Boys.

[Chuckles] - ¡Ay! So handsome! - Thank you.

Manny, are you wearing aftershave? Yes, for my date.

This will be the first time she will ever smell me.

Her name is Whitney.

I met her in an online book club.

We both like vampire fiction and the romance of eternal life.

I think it's adorable that Manny has a date.

He even picked out the lunch menu- grilled-cheese sandwich and tomato soup.

Tomato soup because, you know, the tomato soup is like the blood.

And the vampires like to eat the blood.

[Chuckles] And then he wants me to take them out for ice cream, well, because Manny likes ice cream.

- [Doorbell Rings] - Oh, that must be her.

If this goes well, you don't need to stick around.

Vamos.

Hi.

I'm Whitney.

I'm here for Manny.

[Man] Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey [Beeps] See how that works? Sorry, sweetie.

Sorry, Daddy.

No, it's all right.

We were just- Me and Lily were just using the time to figure out how to use the car's voice-command thingy.

Oh.

Here.

Check it out.

Watch.

[Beeps] CD player.

Next track.

[Female Voice] Say a command.

No.

[Beeps] [Sighs] CD player.

Next track.

Air conditioner on.

[Air Blowing] Damn it.

You're worse than your sister with this kind of stuff.

It's a good thing Lily doesn't have an ejector seat.

Oh, guess what.

I ran into your dad and some of his friends.

Oh, really? Yeah.

And get this.

He, uh- He referred to me as "a friend of my son.

" Seriously? Yeah.

That's a little disrespectful to you.

I wasn't offended by it.

Well- [Exhales] I am.

I mean, would he refer to Phil as "a friend of Claire's"? No.

I've heard him call Phil a lot worse.

Just let it pass.

I should have never said anything.

I'm not letting it pass.

He needs to know that's not okay.

And if he doesn't like it, he knows where he can go.

Enter destination.