20. Benched (第1季)【完整台词】

[Phil] Steaks will be ready in five minutes.

You're destroying those things.

Ay, Jay, leave him alone.

No, I'm sorry, but that cow has suffered long enough.

- Fun.

- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wait.

Hang on.

Dinner's ready in five minutes.

Coach wants us to practice layups.

They are deceptively hard- a curious mix of dance and strength.

- You're making it lame again.

- Sorry.

- Ay, Dios mîo, that coach.

- Oh, I hate that guy.

He seems to have the kids motivated.

Oh, Dad, you haven't seen him.

He taunts the kids.

He's abusive.

Listen, if this was a Colombian soccer league, long time ago, one of the kids would have taken that guy out and- [Cutting Sound] A coach is supposed to ride the kids hard.

- Phil, help me out here.

- He's a mean man.

Oh, you're such a woman.

Come to the game.

You'll see.

This guy's a real motherscratcher.

Pardon the language, Gloria.

- Mm-hmm.

- "Gloria"? He better cool it, or I'm gonna introduce him to the Captain and Tennille.

[Mitchell] Oh, hi.

Sorry we're late.

I was at work.

Oh, he loves to say that.

And happy barbecue.

Oh.

[Cameron] Since Mitchell is between jobs, I've taken a part-time job at a greeting card store, which I love.

Plus, with my discount, we're saving a fortune.

How is spending a ton of money on greeting cards saving us a fortune? It's math.

It's really not.

Look it up.

Forty percent off.

Forty percent off.

Forty percent off.

Mitchell, I got this golf buddy of mine.

Great guy.

Super successful.

You two should talk.

It could mean a job for you.

Oh, thanks, Dad, but I'm- I'm not really looking for anything right now.

But- Yeah, that's right.

With me bringing home the bacon, Mitchell doesn't have to rush into anything.

Yeah, I know you have all that greeting card "screw you" money, but, uh, talk to the guy? He's expecting your call in the morning.

Dad, I appreciate it, but in the future- I can't stand this.

I am sorry, but I- No.

Those steaks have been done for five minutes.

I'm taking 'em off the grill.

I'm sorry.

I know how it feels to have him stick his nose where it doesn't belong.

No biggie.

It's just Jay being Jay.

But one day I'm gonna be a grandfather, and then everybody better hide their meat.

[Man] Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey [Sighs] Ooh.

Who's she? I hate it when you do that.

[Chuckles] Who's he? It's Charlie Bingham.

He's the guy that my dad wanted me to call.

I googled him.

Look.

Oh, he owns Earthgear Apparel.

I have their ski pants.

Really? You don't- You don't ski.

I have cargo pants and I don't work at the docks.

God, I feel like such a slacker.

I mean, he has done so much for being so young.

Okay, look.

He's opened up a dozen environmental foundations and conservancies.

Wow.

So, you gonna- you gonna call him? I don't know.

I mean, you know, I sort of promised myself and you that I'd take a little time off, and- And you are loving your time off.

Totally.

I am losing my mind.

As much as I love Lily- which is, you know, more than life itself- I am- whoo- not cut out to be a stay-at-home dad.

No, but it's Cameron's turn.

It's Cameron's turn to be out in the world interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home and-and plot the death of Dora the Explorer.

Like to fill her backpack with bricks and throw her into Candy Cane River.

So, I don't know.

Should I- Should I call him? I don't know.

Maybe just to get your dad off your back.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, because the last thing I want for you is to take a job right now.

Mmm.

I am loving our life.

I am in a really dark space.

Being away from my Lily is literally torture.

[Weeping] And I can't pressure Mitchell, but I really, really, really just want him to get a job so I can go back to being a stay-at-home dad/trophy wife! - [Whistle Blows] - [Woman] Guys, come on! [Coach] Come on, ladies! Move it! Goodness gracious! Turtles run faster! Come on! Could you run any slower? I dare you to run slower! You see? He's just trying to light a fire.

Oh, I'll light him on fire! Why do I always have to come to these things? Because you love your brother.

Why don't you make him come to my orchestra concerts? Because we love your brother.

Good job, Luke.

- [Whistle Blows] - [Crowd Shouting] - Shoot! - [Scattered Cheering] Delgado, you're killing me, man! I love you, Manny, no matter what! [Coach] Come on! Okay.

[Chuckles] That's great.