6. Run for Your Wife (第1季)【完整台词】

[ imitates explosion ] Dad? Come on, we're only halfway done.

I need help.

I was supposed to keep a journal all summer.

It's due today.

Wow, first day of school, and you're already behind? [ groans ] I'm dead.

All right, tell me how far you've gotten.

Okay.

"June 21st -- found a stick.

" Mm.

"June 22nd" That's it.

That's it? It was a really cool stick.

He's right.

It looked like a snake.

Getting everybody out of the house in the morning can be really tough, Especially the first day of school.

From the minute we get up at 7:00 Till we drop them off at school, It is go, go, go.

I get up at 6:00.

[ chuckles ] I get up at 5:00.

Seriously, I get up at 6:00.

That's you? I th-- I thought we had a raccoon.

I can't believe my littlboy is going into the fifth grade.

He used to hold my finger with his little hand And look at me with those big eyes.

Oh, mi niño pequeño, jay! Yep, they grow up.

Come on, manny, let's get going! How's my hair? Hold on.

What are you wearing there? That looks like an old christmas tree skirt.

It's a traditional colombian poncho.

I want my new classmates to know I'm proud of my heritage.

Sí.

I think you look very handsome, lindo.

Oh, really? Am I driving him to school, or is he gonna ride his burro? ♪ you are a cutie-pie, yes, you are ♪ ♪ you are a cutie-pie ♪ Are you still baby-proofing? Everything we own is pointy.

Why is our daughter dressed like donna summer? She is not donna summer.

Clearly, she's diana ross from the rca years.

How is daddy not seeing that? I really thought you were done with this.

I made no such promises.

I guess I'm somewhat of a shutterbug, um, And my new favorite model, of course, is lily.

I just completed a series of photographs Of her dressed as various pop icons.

Let's see, I've done, uh, olivia newton-john.

I've done madonna, the early years.

Stevie wonder.

Yeah, there are days when lily has more costume changes than cher.

[ gasps ] cher! How could I forget cher? That's embarrassing.

That's embarrassing? Honey, you moving out?Ans ] Five more years.

A little help here? This is why we suggested the violin.

The cello is more in demand in university orchestras.

You know what's not in demand? Oh, what? Girls who play in university orchestras.

[ laughs sarcastically ] Here, I'll help you carry it out to the curb.

Phil, put on some pants.

Come on, this covers up more than my bathing suit.

Yeah, don't reminde.

Haley, honey, don't forget the driving instructor Is picking you up from school.

Can't he pick me up someplace else? I don't want kids at school thinking I'm dating A 40-year-old driving instructor who's not even cute.

Haley just got her learner's permit We've been taking turns driving with her.

One of the really standard rules of the road Is we want to keep a safe distance Between us and the car in front of it, And that is not safe right there -- not safe.

All right.

Okay, merge.

I -- merge.

Mom -- merge! Merge, merge, merge, merge, merge! Stop it! You're freaking me out! This navigation system's all messed up.

It thinks we'rin a park.

Oh, my god, it is a park! Away from the kids! Where do I go?! Aim for the lake! The lake?! Aim for the lake! Makes you realize we're all just hanging by a thread.

The last thing manny needs on his first day of school Is you under-melting his confidence.

Undermining.

Now u're doing it to me, too.

I'm sorry, but there's only two places Anyone should wear a poncho -- Niagara falls and log rides.

You think too much about these things.

I wear all sort of daring outfits all the time, And people admire them because I wear them with the confidence.

I'm sure it's the confidence they're admiring.

[ chuckles ] I just I just think it's a little over-the-top.

You know what? You need to loosen up and have fun.

I am loose.

I'm fun.

Remember? Breakfast for dinner last week -- my idea.

Ever since we brought lily home, you've been tense.

All you do is put child locks on things, read parenting books.

Would you please stop and -- Here -- just hold your daughter.

Hold her and relax.

All right, sweetheart.

Come on.

Just relax.

Oh, sweetheart.

Did you put hair spray on this? Just a little bit, yes.

I'm gonna put some music on.

No, cam, I have to go to work.

Dance with her! I don't have time for this.

Put a little boogie in it.

[ dance music plays ] oh, come on.

Just dance.

You know you love this song.

This is actually a really good song.

All right.

Okay.

Who's the dancing queen, huh? [ music continues ] Put a little boogie in it.

I don't have time.

See? Fun, right? [ thud ] Oh, my -- was that her head? No, I think if it was her head, she would be -- [ lily crying ] Yeah, that was her head.

Okay, okay.

Mitchell: Yes, I know.

I got boo-boo bear from the freezer.

Why do you have chocolate on your face? It was under a pie.

So you ate your way to it? I made a judgment call.

You weren't there! Do you think she's all right? She didn't cry that much.

M-maybe that's a bad sign.

You know We should try and make her laugh.