Why? 'cause that's how we'll know she's okay.
Where's, um Where's doggy? Doggy, doggy.
Here, doggy.
Okay, there you go.
Moo! But it's a dog.
Yeah, I know.
That's why it's funny.
Moo! I don't think it's as funny as you think it is.
Can we please just call your sister? No, no.
Cam, cam, why, so she can be all judgmental and condescending, Like she's the expert and I don't know how to take care of a baby? Mitchell, she is your family.
Of course she's gonna be judgmental and condescending.
Hello? Hey, hi.
Uh, not a big deal, just wondering -- When your kids were small, did you ever I don't know, uh, smack their heads into a wall? Usually, we just gave time-outs.
No, no.
Accidentally.
Um, we -- we just kind of bonked lily's head, And she -- it really wasn't very hard, And she's not acting any differently, But I just worry -- relax.
It happens.
Luke used to bang his head all the time, and he's fine.
Okay.
All right, thank you.
Thanks.
That helps.
Okay, okay.
We got to take her to the doctor.
Load up the car.
Jay: Gloria? I'm here.
I, uh, just dropped manny off at school, And I realized I just dropped manny off at school.
Oh, boy.
And I was hoping we'd still have a few more good years Before the mind started to go.
No, what I'm saying We have the day to ourselves for the first time in months.
We should take advantage of it -- Go to the club Nice lunch Some massages.
What about work? I'm the boss.
Since I married you, people are surprised I come in at all.
[ chuckles ] Jay's very spontaneous.
He's always surprising me with little presents, Fun getaways.
I wasn't the greatest husband the first time around, But I'm trying to do better this time.
And maybe by my third marriage, I'll have it down pat.
[ chuckles ] Yeah, that one's gonna cost me.
Whatcha reading there, a book? Yeah, I've been meaning to get to it for a while.
Oh, it's got a map at the beginning.
I like it when books do that.
Uh-huh.
Do you have an open house this morning? I rescheduled.
Thought you might like some company.
Ahh.
Phil: Well, the first day of school can be tough For stay-at-home moms.
Now, you have to understand -- the kids are gone, The nest is empty, they are rudderless.
And a lot of guys wouldn't even notice.
But I'm not a lot of guys.
I listen with my mind, and if you pay attention, Women will tell you what they want By telling you the opposite of what they want.
Like, the other day, claire was like, "you have to move your car.
There's no space in the garage for both of our cars.
" And what she's really saying is that, you know, I should probably get a sports car.
I was sort of looking forward to a quiet day.
Thought I'd just read, maybeGo for a run later.
That's it.
Great.
We'll run together.
You don't have to do that.
Know.
Listening.
The thing is, I like to run alone, And I run kind of fast, so So So, I'm not sure You're gonna be able to keep up with me.
[ laughs ] You're k-- you're kidding, right? No.
You really think I can't keep up with you? I'm not sure you can keep up with this conversation.
I think you're forgetting that I power-walk every morning And that I wear my special ses with the big soles, Which were designed by a doctor.
Yes, I know.
But I run Every day.
You really think you can run as fast as me? No, phil, I think I can run much, much faster Than you.
Boom.
Just like that, the whole day changed.
It was game on.
She knew it.
I knew it.
We both knew it.
[ sighs ] I just want to read.
I think I'll order what I had the last time.
What was that called? You just want me to say it because you want me to roll my r's.
Come on! [ trilling ] reuben.
[ laughs ] Jay, what is this? Oh, looks like my old car cover.
Don't give me that.
This is manny's poncho.
What is it doing here? Maybe he decided to take it off on the way to school.
What did you say to him? Nothing.
I told some jokes.
You said plenty with your jokes.
Jay, he looks up to you.
He respects your opinion.
We dodged a bullet on this, trust me.
I've been down this road before.
I remember one time mitchell decided to wear A jaunty scarf to school.
I kept my mouth shut.
He got his jaunty butt kicked.
My dad has this perception that I was very flamboyant as a kid, Which is just -- it's nonsense, Because I kept the whole gay thing very under wraps.
You know, I was just a guy's guy.
I-I was basically a jock.
You know? So, we should crush manny's spirit And destroy everything that makes him who he is.
I'm just sing, it's no fun To see your kid get picked on every day, Getting tormented just because he's different.
Now, I'm telling you, it rips your heart out.
Well, batman doesn't get picked on, and he wears a cape.
A poncho is just a cape that goes all the way around.
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