12. Blasts from the Past (第10季)【完整台词】

1 We're taking a four-week bicycle trip through the vineyards of Italy! We figure that this summer, our whole lives are gonna be turned upside-down when Haley, Dylan, and their twins move in with us, so why not splurge on a grandbaby-moon? So we've been hitting the language tapes, the, uh the stationary bikes, and a couple of times a day, I wolfishly whistle at Claire to prepare her for that timeless Roman charm.

I can't believe after all those nights at Fratelli's talking about going to Italy, it's actually happening.

[Italian accent] Ohh, American lady! Why do you do this to me? Don't make me practice my slap on you again.

Mm.

- [Music plays] - [Normal voice] What's that? Oh, I'm on hold.

I'm booking us into a converted castle in Tuscany - for our anniversary.

- Does it have a moat? I've been working on all of our receipts for taxes.

Looks like we're getting a refund, which means that we can afford to To pay the dwarf who will lower the drawbridge if we answer his riddles three? I'm gonna nip this in the bud.

No moat.

This trip was such a great idea.

- Oh, I know.

- Ah.

Mwah! - Things are gonna be so hectic here this summer.

- Mm-hmm.

It's weird to think people will be calling us - Grandpa and - No, please don't say it.

Don't say that word.

It makes me feel so old.

But I have thought about what I want them to call me.

- Gammy.

- Gammy.

Well, let's take her for a spin.

"Hey, everyone, Gammy's here!" "Sorry, guys, not today, Gammy's in a mood.

" - Yeah, it does.

It works.

- Mm.

Yeah.

- Hey, roomies.

- Hey "Roomies"? What is with all the boxes and the bags? Well, I know we said we'd move in when the babies come, but then we thought about all the money we'd save.

- Mucho dinero.

- Mm.

- Yes.

- You look mad.

I should've told you.

I was afraid to tell you.

I didn't think that I could handle the disappointment [voice breaking] if you weren't happy about it.

But you're not unhappy about it, right? - Right?! - Oh, honey.

Oh, honey.

Oh, my gosh, you're the best.

I love you so much.

- [Chuckles] - [Inhales deeply] Wow! What a journey.

What is my life gonna be like when I'm in the hormonal stage? Oh, wait, there was one more thing, um Woman: Hey, where should I put these boxes? My mom surprised us.

We were hoping she could stay a couple days.

Hello, hello! Well, it's about time we officially met, considering our DNA is already swirling around - in Haley's womb.

- [Chuckles] Phil.

- Oh, hey.

- Mwah.

- Claire.

- Oh, hi.

[Smooches] - I'm Farrah.

- Hi, Farrah.

- You look so familiar.

- Well, I meet a lot of people with my work in the protest movement.

Oh, did you participate in the Ivory is Murder Fun Run? - Not that I recall.

- Sweetheart, why don't you show Farrah - where she will be sleeping.

- Oh, no, I just need two weight-bearing hooks spaced seven feet apart.

This kimono converts to a hammock.

Ah.

- Travel agent: Pronto! - Italy! - They answered! Where's the phone? - Oh! Oh, no, no, no.

- Where's the phone? - I got it, right here.

- You got it? Get it.

- Yeah.

Oh! Oh! Oh, buddy, I'm so sorry.

- Let me get you some ice.

- Damn it! No, no, don't worry.

I brought magnets.

Is that the way she treats all head injuries? Because I've got a theory.

I want to give these old toys to Haley's babies.

Oh, Joe, that's so sweet! Now I have room in the closet for my lizard.

Lizard? I thought that you were just going to the pet shop to look.

I can't say no to that face.

You're gonna have to be bad cop 'til puberty, you know, when the Pritchett Adam's apple and fuzz-stache show up.

Manny, you should also give something for the twins.

You both are gonna be uncles.

That's a very proud tradition in our family.

That's right, Joe.

Our great-great Uncle Alvaro was a famous South American freedom fighter.

You're kidding? My Great Uncle Erasmus was a hero at the Alamo.

We're four sentences away from realizing they killed each other, right? Joe, next week, you have to go to school dressed as a hero.

Why don't you dress as Uncle Alvaro? Or Uncle Erasmus.

Ay, Jay, that's cute, but Alvaro was not only a war hero.

He was a celebrated matador, Frida Kahlo's tango instructor, two-time winner of the Bogota Herald cartoon caption contest.

No disrespect, but I don't think he was fit to shine Erasmus J.

Pritchett's boots, which, incidentally, were made by a 9-foot Texas diamondback he stomped to death while arm-wrestling Davy Crockett.

Did he kill all his clothes? He sure did.

Come upstairs.

I'll show you.

I got a ring of his with a tooth in it he punched out of a puma.

Jay does this all the time.

He disrespects our heritage and inflates his own.

I mean, I'm not buying this Uncle Erasmus guy at all.

I say we do a little digging.

Yes! We can be like Inspector Tortuga, the turtle detective in Uncle Alvaro's popular children's book.

He was always very slowly solving crimes.

Turns out Jay's Uncle Erasmus did live in Texas in the 1830s, but not much was written about him.

[Machine whirring] - [Sighs] - [Groans] - Gretchen.

- Manuel.

Again, I'm so sorry abou You'll have to return these within two weeks.

Unlike my phone calls! Señor.

We had to dig deeper, and since history is written by the victors Muchas gracias.

I brought my own.