15. Supershowerbabybowl (第10季)【完整台词】

1 Oh, Super Bowl The plays, the plays, they're calling From end to end And - Oh! - What happened? Do I call the nine and the one and the other one? Why is my fridge filled with non-football-related foods on Super Bowl Sunday? There's no room for my Jerry Rice pudding.

Haley's baby shower is today.

I cleared it with you, like, a month ago.

Can't you just record the game? And what? Watch it tomorrow morning? Look.

There's no reason a football game and a baby shower can't co-exist under the same roof.

Maybe you won't get in my way.

Baby showers are pretty tame.

Who's ready for a baby show-ahhh?! Ha! Mmm.

I'm making White Russians for the baby show-ahhh.

A little liquid courage makes all the naughty games better.

I think you're mixing up baby shower with bridal shower.

Well, my bridal shower did take place when I was pregnant.

The cops even showed up.

Of course, they weren't real cops.

One of them rubbed his butt against my belly.

Don't tell Haley.

- Or how about, "Don't tell Alex"? - Mm.

Super Bowl squares here! Get your Super Bowl squares! No.

Not this again.

Uh, actually, we've made some refinements.

Last year, the price was a little high.

The year before, too low.

So this year, we've landed on the perfect number.

$3.

75 per square.

I'll do what I did last year.

- Give me 11 squares.

- Okay.

Easy enough.

- Um - Uh No.

No Super Bowl math on the baby shower side.

Go over there.

I'm telling you, you look cute.

You know what's not cute? Lying to me.

This gets better once they come out, right? - What happened? - Well, my last pair of jeans exploded, I can't wear skirts because my thighs are growing hair faster than I can shave it, so I'm wearing ski pants to my own baby shower.

- I'm telling you, no one's even gonna notice.

- Oh What's that sound? It's like when the doors on the starship Enterprise open.

Hey, you guys want to buy a Super Bowl square? Only $3.

75.

Cool.

Can I take three squares? Yeah, I need something good today, too.

We'll split five squares.

Uh do you have quarters? Oh, I don't carry change since the last time I got struck by lightning.

Hello, Phillip.

Hello, Manuel.

Against my better judgment, I wrote a part for Phil in my new movie.

Things got heated, words were exchanged, which is surprising, considering he had a mouthful of scenery.

Actors.

Writers.

They think they're so great.

"Oh, my words are so precious.

" Try listening for once.

Maybe you'll learn how humans actually talk.

Wait, is it is it "talk" or "speak"? Oh, that's right.

No one cares! Hello, hello.

I'm here for the Super Bowl.

- And I am here for the baby shower.

- Okay, yep.

I'm here for some sort of punishment, I think.

Hmm.

Lily and her friend, Christina, got into a huge fight.

And I was hoping we could have the girls sit down and talk it out.

But Mitchell said "no," Christina's in the wrong.

And apparently, Mitchell's the law.

He is.

Lily, you're very lucky to have such a wise papa.

- Mm-hmm.

- Assistant District Attorney Pritchett is a hero.

Huh.

So this one thinks you're cool now? Okay, Gloria loves crime stories, especially women who kill their husbands.

And I recently prosecuted the Bel Air Black Widow.

She came to court every single day.

We find the defendant guilty.

Yes! Whoop, whoop! Hey, Counselor.

This isn't over.

Lady, you're like me in high school, cause you ain't gonna be coming out for 17 years! Boom goes the dynamite! Cam, have a bowl of my famous chili.

I didn't know you made chili.

I know all about Jay's damn chili.

We talked about it last year on this very day.

Promises were made.

Next year, I'm getting you your own football chair and you're gonna help me make my famous chili.

5:00 a.

m.

Be there or be square.

You know, I never entirely felt Jay's approval, so this was a big step for us.

I counted the days.

Then Super Bowl Eve, I went and I bought the finest chili thickeners corn flour and potato flour.

And I showed up an hour before dawn.

I called Jay's cell as to not startle Gloria.

Hey, what's up? He had no idea why I was calling.

Clearly promises made didn't mean as much to him.

But I couldn't let him know that.

Oh, uh, Jay, is th is that you? I-I must I must've butt-dialed you.

Why else would I be calling you so early on a regular Sunday morning? Sorry.

I felt like a jilted lover standing on his porch, holding those beautiful flours.

- Oh.

- You can't hide in here all day.

To me, you've never been hotter, and I've seen you hitchhike in a bikini.

There you are.

I'm sorry you're having a bad day, uh but I thought you should know, I invited Danielle.