3. A Sketchy Area (第10季)【完整台词】

1 Every afternoon, I've been going to Luke's campus to help him train for rugby tryouts.

What do you say we practice that lineout lift one last time? - And - I got to go.

I don't want to be late for women's studies.

That's what I call my lunch break.

All right.

Good luck at tryouts.

PHIL: The other day, something pretty interesting caught my eye.

Uh modifications must be made to standard microeconomic procedures to apply supply and demand analysis.

Hmm.

First, we construct a utility function, where Y equals income and X equals the cost of services.

Well Uh, next, we vary either X Pffffbbbbb.

What What's on your mind? Well, um, with all due respect, uh, you have a roomful of aspiring Realtors here, and I worry that you might be turning them off with all those numbers and formulas.

It's actually a very exciting business.

It's about people and and emotional connections and magnets with your face on them.

You think you can just walk in here and start teaching this class? I'm so sorry.

I shouldn't have No, I'm asking can you teach this class for me? If I leave now, I won't have to pay the all-day parking rate.

PHIL: 10 minutes with the dean, who, it turns out, I'd sold a house to, and I was official.

Imagine Phil Dunphy shaping minds in the hallowed halls of Sequoia Community College, established 2016.

As you can see from this graph, it's not about X's and Y's.

It's about oohs and ahs.

Mm.

Okay.

So, what does real estate equal? 80% - eye contact.

- [MARKER CLACKS] All right.

Your breakfast is almost ready.

You're gonna need all your energy for the courtroom today in case you have to yell, "I'm out of order? You're out of order.

The whole damn system's out of order!" Might not do that.

I think I'm winning, so big fan of the system right now.

- Anyway, it can't hurt - Cam.

to have some experienced eyes take a look at this police work.

Sloppy.

Sloppy, sloppy.

Okay, I know you fancy yourself some sort of detective.

You know, I was quite the amateur sleuth as a boy, a real-life Encyclopedia Brown.

They called me Thesaurus Jones.

What I really need right now is just a few minutes of silence, - just like - I would say my toughest case - was "The Case of the Missing Snowman.

" - [PAPERS THUD] You know, at first, I thought he'd come to life, - but turns out - Oh.

Shh! My trial! REPORTER: Today marks the fourth day of witness questioning by the DA's office.

- Oh, my God.

- [SPUTTERS] Is that you? I look like an elf that just walked into his own surprise party.

No, it's like the time we tried to microwave a squash.

I Okay, this is my first big trial, a-a chance to make a name for myself.

All anyone's gonna be talking about is that awful picture! Okay, this is a disaster.

Th There's a place downtown where all the lawyers go to drink.

It's called The Side Bar.

They put courtroom sketches on the wall of everyone's first big trial.

Maybe nobody saw it.

[CELLPHONE CHIMING] Um Don't assume the worst.

It could just be an Amber Alert.

[CHIMING CONTINUES] - CLAIRE: Hey, Dad.

- JAY: Yo.

Since it's our first day with our new partners, I thought maybe you could get to work as close to on time as poss I will try my best.

- [CELLPHONE BEEPS] - Hi.

[CHUCKLES] I'm sorry.

Am I late? - NICK: No, no, no, no.

- Oh.

And we're not real time sticklers here.

We've found that team members really excel when they follow their own energy rhythms.

- Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

- Interesting, 'cause I've found team members are happiest when the company stays in business, which means asses in chairs by 9:00.

Dad, could I just have a quick quick sec with you? Sure.

Um so, Dad, look, the culture is just different here.

And you just can't come in with a sledgehammer, or it's gonna create tension.

You don't want to alienate people.

- So you want me to change who I am? - No.

I just want you to hide who you are.

I mean, come on.

Just a little bit.

Let's get rid of this.

Look at that.

That's better already.

Who is this 50-something, huh? - Fine.

I will be on my best behavior.

- Thanks, Dad.

[SIGHS] - So sorry about that.

- Well, it's no problem.

- Family time is so important.

- Uh-huh.

That's why we offer 14 months paid paternity leave.

- Mm-kay.

- Mm-hmm.

Let's see an update on that Thinfinity model.

Ooh.

Cool design.

- Who do I high-five for that, huh? - Everybody.

Our design meetings are organized around burstiness, which is a rapid-fire creative process that really just unlocks the unconscious.

Oh! [CHUCKLES] Does anybody else find that distracting? Actually, it's great for left-brain stimulation.

I got winner! - [CHUCKLES] - We don't keep score.

- No? - MAN: [MUFFLED] Watch out! What the hell?! You don't know about Zorbing? It promotes mind/body balance.

It's kind of like the German version of Flerming.

Okay, that's it.

Now, I'm about to introduce you squids to a little thing called back-breaking, - soul-crushing hard work.

- Mm.

How many heart attacks have you had here in the last five years? Zero? Where am I?! America loves closets, and I'm here to build them, damn it! And you get this back when I see people pull up in the morning crying in their cars.

Yeah.

- [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS] - Okay, must you? You know what, we are gonna make sure that sketch artist sees the best possible version of you.

Let's get those apples a-shining! Okay, okay, stop.

Don't! Okay, your face gets weird when you make that "O" sound, so avoid that.

A-Are you serious? The defendant runs the Orange County Oceanic and Ornithological Organization.