6. On the Same Paige (第10季)【完整台词】

1 I don't remember buying these fresh peaches.

Aah! Phil: Apologies, Serge.

My wife, Claire, seems to have forgotten that I'm holding office hours for my Intro to Real Estate class here at home.

So, when I walked to the laundry room 10 minutes ago in my bra That was kind of perfect, actually.

I had just made a point about how buildings from the early '70s were holding up surprisingly well.

So maybe I'll Yeah.

- Yeah.

Mm-hmm.

- Mm-hmm.

All right, see you in class, buddy.

- [Sighs] - What a great kid.

That's why I chucked it all for a life in academia, Claire.

[Inhales deeply] It's a special feeling knowing that there's a young man walking around out there who you helped mold, who you can be proud of.

- Hey, Dad.

- Hey.

You know? You're up early.

What are you talking about? I hugged you from behind earlier.

You know, I said, "I don't remember buying this six pack.

" Then you did that funny Eastern European accent [Eastern European accent] "I don't want trouble.

I just want to learn.

" [Chuckles] Should we be concerned about group-molesting Serge? And aren't you at the minimum number of students - before they cancel your class? - Not to worry.

Serge worships me, and the rest of the class is super solid.

Plus, it's the last day to drop classes anyway.

[Normal voice] Oh, speaking of that, I'm thinking about dropping history.

- How come? - It's not really exciting me.

Plus, we've got this huge paper due today that I haven't quite finished starting.

It's on the Monroe Doctrine.

The Monroe Doctrine? Oh, no.

Junior year history class, I wrote the perfect paper.

Strong thesis, impeccable supporting arguments.

I quoted from the letters of a White House footman who recalled Monroe calling to him from the bath, "Beauregard, fetch me my breeches.

We have a doctrine!" I got a "C.

" [Inhales sharply] Oh, so you agree with that grade, huh? Don't patronize me.

Mmm.

The food at the club has gotten so much lighter and healthier.

We had a run of angina attacks, so we had to go heart-healthy.

We said goodbye to our social chairman, Herb, and our butter fountain in the same weekend.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Hey, Mr.

Pritchett.

I'll take this when you're ready.

- Thank you, Maria.

- Oh, Maria, that's a beautiful name.

That's why it's often sung.

But you're not going to Ave Maria And curtain.

Okay, they just started letting gays in here.

Don't make them regret it.

You might also wanna tell Sharona - to steer clear of the table.

- Yes.

Yeah, well, I should probably save my energy for my performance tonight anyway.

Oh, darn.

Gloria and I have tickets to, um [Stammers] Um Don't worry, Jay.

It's It's not for you.

Oh, good.

I didn't know where I was going with that.

Tonight is a fundraiser at Lily's school.

We're, you know, raising money for the kids.

A night of song and sketch.

All the dads are performing.

Well most of the dads.

Proud of you, son.

Ah, it's not a complete victory.

I still have to watch it, so - Thanks for breakfast, Dad.

- Hey, I love spending time with you two! Every month I've gotta burn off a minimum at the club, and literally, everybody else I knew was busy.

That's also why I give a lot of birthday presents from the pro-shop.

You know, mugs and visors that say "Kiss My Putter," "Talk Birdie To Me.

" Quality items.

Everybody wins.

So, if you're not rushed, you should treat yourself to our spa.

You know, get a couple of, uh a couple of standard treatments.

Oh, well, you're so generous.

Might I say you look very handsome in that shirt we gave you for Christmas.

They also make it in "Queen's coral" oh, no.

- Did I spoil your birthday? - Sounds like you might.

[Cellphone chimes, vibrates] Oh.

[Laughs] - What's so funny? - Oh, it's just that I've been e-mailing this mom at school.

We both volunteer together.

- You You e-mail? - It's harmless.

Listen.

"Hey, Jay, enjoyed laughing around the planetarium with you.

Your jokes were out of this world.

" Hm, okay.

So, if it's so harmless, I'm sure Gloria knows about this flirty quipstress.

Don't make something out of this.

Oh, my God.

Oh! That's why he's wearing the shirt.

[Gasps] Because it makes your blue eyes pop.

I'm not letting you magpies dirty this up.

[Cellphone chimes, vibrates] - [Cellphone unlocks] - Oh, uh "Park by the swings so I can help you carry stuff in.

" [Sultry voice] "Park by the swings so I can help you carry stuff in.

" You're sullying this, and I'm leaving! - Okay, well, say "hi" to your girlfriend.

- She's not my girlfriend.

The only reason we're paired together is because our kids are in the same reading group.

Both: Oo-ooh! Damn it! [Chuckling] I love when we "ooh.

" We used to do that all the time, and then we stopped.

- Why? - I don't know.

[Birds chirping] Joe! Why did I find your eye patch - in the garbage? - I don't know.

Were you throwing away another parking ticket? Okay, you have to put it on.

Why? My lazy eye is fixed.

Okay, I'm over here, and it's only one more week.