1. The Old Wagon (第2季)【完整台词】

Honey, do you need me to move the car? - Oh, it's not in the way.

- Okay.

Oh, no.

Iron cross.

- She's going down.

- Oh, God.

Phil.

You okay? Yes, I am.

I am okay.

Honey, why do we keep this car? - It's a classic.

- No, it just sits here.

And the seat belts don't work, the doors stick, it leaks fluids.

We haven't put fluids in it in 10 years.

Well, I'm gonna fix all that.

You wait.

And then, uh, it's gonna be Haley's car.

Oh, we're not giving this car to Haley.

- It's way too easy to fit a mattress in the back.

- Remember? - Oh, no.

We're selling it.

- What? Mm-hmm.

Unless you don't think you can.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Seriously? - You can't.

- You honestly think that's gonna work? - You can't sell it.

You know what? You can insult a lot of things about me: My hair, my voice, my balance board exercises.

But don't insult my selling.

That crosses a line.

What line? Oh, you don't see it? That's 'cause I just sold it.

Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey "While the spray-tanned starlet claims to be six weeks sober sources down under say she has been barhopping like a coked-up kangaroo.

" Ah, what's Daddy reading to you? If I have to read The Very Hungry Caterpillar one more time, I will snap.

- Oh, it's not that bad - I will snap! So, um, I laid the toolbox outside and all the supplies are ready.

- And I think we are good to go.

- Terrific.

Aren't you gonna change into a workingman's outfit? No, I'm good, and I don't think workmen really call 'em "outfits.

" We are building a princess castle for Lily.

It's something every father wants to be able to do for his daughter.

You know, and I And I fancy myself as a bit of a castle designer.

I have done a few sketches.

Which we have archived.

So we can use the kit.

- Mmm, yeah.

Uh - The kit.

The kit.

Which we're gonna do together.

I am petrified to do this with Mitchell.

He built a couple of theater sets in college or something and now he thinks he knows everything about building.

Well, he doesn't.

Every home improvement project that we've undertaken has been a near-death experience.

Make the appetizers and then we'll be If an accident does happen, I hope he kills me because I don't think I would be a very inspiring disabled person.

Manny, relax.

She's not here yet.

You might wanna play it a little cooler.

You don't want to scare off your girlfriend.

She's not my girlfriend! She's just coming over to study the life cycle of silkworms.

Oh, she's here.

She's here! Okay, how's my hair? - I thought it was just a friend.

- I heard that.

I wasn't whispering.

Manny, open the door.

Make her feel welcome.

Kelly, good morning.

I'm glad you're here.

- Um, this is my mom - Nice to meet you.

In my culture, mothers are very clingy to their sons.

In fact, the leading cause of death among Colombian woman is when their sons get married.

But I'm not like that.

I just want my Manny to be happy.

Manny, why don't you give your friend Kelly an empanada? Oh, no, thank you.

I try to stay away from trans fats.

I'm sure one won't make a difference.

They're Manny's favorite.

I think I'm going to stop eating trans fats too.

Hey, Mom, when was this from? Oh, that's the year your dad and I went to the Rose Bowl.

- Incredible game.

- Yeah.

Mom, you look really pretty.

- Thank you, sweetheart.

- So what happened? Well, Lukey, everyone gets older.

Just 'cause parts of your mom aren't what they used to be, it doesn't mean I mean, what happened in the game? We got our butts kicked by Penn State.

The parade was awesome though.

Angela Lansbury was the grand marshal.

Good time, she wrote.

Okay.

Guys, let's get back to it.

No one's gonna buy this heap looking this way.

Ew.

Mom, which one is the garbage can? Um, it Honey, you can't throw that away.

It's Blankety.

- It's disgusting.

- No, sweetie.

You loved Blankety.

You wouldn't go anywhere without him.

Yeah, until Luke threw up on it.

Yeah.

I used to throw up all the time.

- Remember Buckety? - Oh! - Oh, look at this.

- What is that? We went to the beach one day and Luke had such a good time that he wanted to bring home a jar of sunshine so he could always remember.

- Do you remember, sweetie? - Oh, no, no, don't don't open it.

You really think you trapped sunshine in there? I'm just letting you know now, I'm not taking care of him when you guys die.