23. See You Next Fall (第2季)【完整台词】

And now, please welcome your valedictorian, Alex Dunphy.

Where are my mom and dad? And in this corner, finishing first in her class delivering the commencement address, weighing in at - What do you weigh, honey? - Dad! A healthy amount for a girl her age - Are you gettin' all this, buddy? - Pure gold.

She's the main brain, the cerebellum of the ball Alex Dunphy! Oh, keep rolling.

The news will want this footage when I eventually snap.

I thought Sanjay Patel was first in the class.

He was until he missed a few weeks and the robot he was building attacked him.

It's happening, people.

Our hubris will be our undoing.

Sweetie, what do you say you and I go and get our nails done, huh? - It's okay.

I wanna work on my speech.

- Been there.

I remember the speech that won me treasurer of my high school Spanish club.

Mi nombre es Felipe.

Yo voy a la escuela Felipe? It was kind of a grande deal.

I was up against an actual Puerto Rican.

Honey, are you sure? Because I think they can do school colors.

- I'm good, Mom.

- Okay.

Family milestones always throw Claire for a loop.

She holds it in, and then the next day she has a total meltdown and I have to pick up the pieces.

The problem is tomorrow I'm supposed to go to Vegas with my buds so I need her to melt down today.

Otherwise, what happens in Vegas won't happen to me, because I won't be there.

Emotional day, huh? Happy day.

- Happy and sad.

- Hmm.

"Guys, I can't go to Vegas because my wife's freaking out.

" Trust me, that is not a phone call you wanna make to a bunch of ex-college male cheerleaders.

They will mock you with a hurtful rhythmic taunt.

Hello? - Gloria, it's me.

- Hi.

How was the doctor? Can you pick up some bread on the way home, please? I'm home.

My damn gate remote won't work.

Could you press - Hello? - nine? - Manny, it's okay.

- What's okay? - What's wrong? Where are you calling from? - I'm not calling from.

- Jay is calling.

- What's wrong with Jay? - My clicker won't work.

- Oh, my God.

Your heart's not working? How could you tell us this over the phone? My heart is fine.

Would somebody please press nine and let me in? - Okay.

- Got it.

It won't work if you're both on the line.

- Okay.

- Okay.

Every damn time! Okay, Lily, time to get dressed.

I can't believe Alex is gonna be in high school.

- I feel so old.

- You feel old? I was there when she was born in the delivery room.

- If I wasn't gay before - Oh, please.

You wouldn't have lasted two minutes on a farm.

I've witnessed all kinds of birthing.

Never batted an eye.

I've seen cattle.

I've seen hogs.

I've seen goats.

I've even seen the three-legged Oh! Whoa! Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

- I'm sorry.

- Really, Mitchell? I could have just died.

Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey .

Principal Kaizler, faculty, parents, fellow graduates Hey, superstar.

- Oh, you're working on your speech.

- Yep.

Do you need any help? Sometimes it's great to bounce ideas off someone whose opinion you value.

- I'm good.

- Okay.

That's cool I could do your hair.

We could do it like we saw in that magazine on What's that actress? What's her name? With the teeth? Mom, Mom, please.

I'm trying to concentrate.

Okay.

Okay.

You be ready to go in a half hour 'cause we are gonna carpool with your grandpa.

Haley's driving me.

I wanna get there early.

That's a great idea.

Great.

I will see you there superstar.

- Hey, Mama Bear.

You okay? - Not with "Mama Bear" I'm not.

- Don't cry.

- I'm not crying.

Shh! Don't be brave.

I'm here for you until 2:00 p.

m.

tomorrow, when my flight leaves for Vegas.

Where were you? Did you bring the bread? I was stuck outside that gate for 10 minutes before it opened.

- So no bread? - We gotta get that thing fixed.

- Ay, what happened to your eye? - What are you talking about? - It's droopy.

- What do you mean, droopy? Uh! I don't like the look of that, Jay.

Here.

Let me check something.

Put that thing away.

I saw my dermatologist.

He was checking for moles or something.

He probably got some numbing cream on it.

It's fine.

Nothin' to worry about.

I got Botox.

Stupid doctor talked me into it, and now it's drifting.

I haven't felt this dumb since I shelled out 30 bucks for that bracelet, supposed to give me better balance.

- Try to push my arm down.