3. Earthquake (第2季)【完整台词】

Oh, my God! Mom, the party is around the block.

- I'll be gone for two hours.

- That is two hours you could spend studying.

I have been studying all weekend.

No friends, no phone.

Just me alone with books.

I feel like Alex.

You're never alone when you have books.

Really? Is that what you want me to turn into? Sweetheart, listen to me.

This is the S.

A.

T.

's, okay? It is not some stupid science quiz.

Hey, if science quizzes are so stupid why do you put mine up on the refrigerator? Because we feel sorry for you, 'cause books are your friends.

Yeah, she wasn't studying last night she was video chatting the whole time.

- I knew it.

I knew it.

- Shut up! You are such a tattle - Girls, take it down a notch, because I - Whoa, whoa, whoa.

What's the hot topic on The View today, ladies? Dad, can you just please tell Mom that I can take a two-hour break and go to a party? No, ma'am.

I'm not stepping into that one.

We're not playing good cop/Mom.

I got it.

- Hello.

- You call for a plumber? - Uh, no, we did not.

- Oh, yes, we did.

We did.

- We did? - Plumber, hi.

Yeah.

- Um, it's at the top of the stairs.

- Really, Claire? Didn't I tell you I'd fix the tub? Yes, you did.

I think I was pregnant with Luke at the time.

That is not fair.

I've done everything you've asked me to do around here.

I fixed the step, didn't I? Look how solid it is.

I'm like Shirley Temple and that black guy.

- Bill "Bojangles" Robinson.

- Bill "Bojangles" Robinson! I said it first.

So this is the problem.

Uh, faucet just keeps leaking.

Yeah, it's a cracked washer, if I know my washers.

And it's, uh, been leaking a little water.

Yeah, could be a washer a cracked valve, a stripped pipe.

Well, I guess I'm not a professional plumber but I have spent a huge amount of time in that tub.

I can tell you from experience, or at least what it feels like in there.

Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Oh, good.

You're back.

I need you to help settle a spat between our blacksmith and that chimney sweep.

Be nice.

It took me 20 minutes to find my opera cloak.

I still can't believe you didn't have to rent any of that.

Oh, please.

Do you know how many times this has paid for itself? Has it? Our friend Pepper loves to throw theme parties.

Yes, he does.

And this weekend is his first annual Oscar Wilde and Crazy brunch.

We're still recovering from his Studio 54th of July barbecue.

- They were fun at first.

- Uh But they have become a lot of work.

- You have to dress in costume.

- You have to assume a character.

I I can't believe you ever dated him.

One date.

It was the '90s.

We'd just lost Princess Di.

I was at sea.

- Uh, Cam, can we just - Can we please cancel? I wish we could, but you know he's still mad at us for missing Passover.

Oh, right.

Seder Day Night Fever.

Just go get dressed and powdered.

Oh.

Pepper has done the impossible He's made two gay men hate brunch.

It might be easier just to pour the espresso right in the sugar.

Every morning.

Jay, what are you wearing? You can't go to church like that.

Well, that settles it then.

I'm going golfing.

You're gonna miss church again? Last Sunday, you said that you had to go to the office.

The week before, you had breakfast with a friend.

And before that, you thought you had a cold that turned out not to be a cold.

- Because I babied it.

- You don't have to convince us.

- You have to convince him.

- Who, God? - Me and God are good.

- How would you know? Look, you feel God in church, which is great.

I feel God out in nature, amongst his works.

- Are you gonna go to church next week? - We'll see.

I know what "we'll see" means.

If you're done with church, just say it.

- I'm done with church.

- Don't say that! Look, I'm not going to church anymore.

It's not the end of the world.

Let's not make a big deal out - Ah, ah - Earthquake! ¡ Un terremoto! ¡ Vamos, vamos, Manny! - ¡ Vamos, Jay! - Come on, Jay! Girls! Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Okay.

This is This is stuck.

Oh, we're gonna die! We're gonna die! We better not.

If they find us in these outfits, it's gonna be very bad for the gays.

- Claire? - We're okay.

- Dad! - Luke.

Buddy.

You okay? That thing almost fell on me.