6. Halloween (第2季)【完整台词】

Oh, hi, honey.

Breakfast will be ready in a minute.

Aaah! My hand! Aaah! Very funny, Mom.

I know it's Halloween.

Nice fake hand.

Aaah! Aaah! We love Halloween, especially Claire.

It's my favorite holiday.

Ever since I was a kid, I loved scary things.

If there was a new horror movie in town I was the first in line.

One, please.

Then I met Phil.

Two, please.

Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey .

Okay.

All right, do me.

Do me, do me, do me.

Cam, I have to say, I feel kinda sexy.

Well, squeaky sexy, but You know I'd be enjoying this more if Halloween wasn't such a tough day for me.

But I want you to go to work and knock their socks off.

My last job was at a pretty conservative law firm.

No one there would ever dress up for Halloween.

But apparently, at this new company Right now I'm thinkin' either vampire or werewolf.

Every year it's harder to decide.

Wait, wait, wait.

I'm sorry.

So people really come to work in costumes here? - Are you kidding? It's epic, bro.

- Epic.

I'm already the new guy.

I don't want to be the non-participation guy too.

Not on my watch.

Unfortunately, Halloween was marred for me personally by an incident long ago.

- Now it's just a day I have to get through.

- So you said.

All right, so everybody has to be here at - You guys have your costumes ready? - Yeah, but it's a secret.

Me and Manny came up with something together.

I love that.

- Can I have some candy? - No.

How about you, Alex? I haven't really thought about it.

I've got, like, three huge exams tomorrow.

Honey, you can't just slap something together at the last minute.

If you gave this costume half as much time and attention as you give your homework, you wouldn't be in this situation.

Can I remind you you have one child who's not mediocre? Check it.

I'm a scary black cat.

The only person that costume scares is me.

- Go change it.

- To what? I don't know.

One of your old costumes.

Honey, trust me.

I am sparing you an entire day of guys asking you if you have a rough tongue.

Eww.

- Yello.

- Hi, Dad.

It's me.

I wanted to make sure you and Gloria were ready for tonight.

- What's tonight? - What do you mean, what is tonight? Dad, it's Halloween.

You know this.

Calm down, Morticia.

I'm just teasing you.

- We'll be there.

- Yeah, but in costume this time.

You can't just show up with a backwards baseball cap and call yourself Snoop Dogg, like you did last year.

I didn't even know who that guy was.

Haley turned my hat around and told me to say it.

I thought he was a dog detective.

Listen, don't worry.

We got the whole thing worked out.

Bye-bye.

- Hola, Jay.

- Where are you? I have Manny in the carpool, and we're going to the dropout.

Dropout You mean that Eddie kid? Yeah, he's a moron.

No, the dropout, where you drop the kids in the school.

She means "drop-off.

" That's what I said.

Listen.

Did you ever do anything about costumes for Claire's thing tonight? I'm going to pick them up this afternoon.

You're going to be a gargle and I'm going to be an evil village bruja.

- I know less now than I did before I asked.

- Hmm.

A bruja is a witch, and a gargle is a gargle.

- She means "gargoyle.

" - That's what I said.

As long as you got it covered because if Claire doesn't get her Halloween she turns into a real rhymes with bruja.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

I'm the only one.

Have lunch? I'll let you wear my fangs.

Hey, someone's got the spirit.

Look at those tools.

Every year.

What a couple of douches.

Oh, no.

Hello? There are exactly three people in costume here a tool, a douche and me and I don't have time to go home and change.

Calm down.

Did you bring in the dry cleaning from last night? Are you really getting on me about the dry clean Oh, I have suits in the trunk.

Look at that.

Yesterday's lazy cures today's crazy.

Yes, thank you.

Thank you.

Okay.

- Hey, Charlie.