Uh, if Uncle Cam's leaving, I'm just gonna go upstairs and study.
Yeah, I have a party to go to, so She punched me in the face! He came out of nowhere, and he scared the baby cheeses out of me.
Hey, you're talking normal again.
Ay.
I love the story about the old man.
Nobody said "old.
" - Oh, Cam, can we please just go? - Yes.
Yeah, go.
Please.
I don't care.
- Oh, Claire - No.
No.
I'm done! I'm done.
I'm not done, so not done.
Look, here's the thing.
We-We have fireworks at Christmas now because that's what they do in Colombia.
I don't mind.
Thanksgiving That used to be me roasting a turkey until the gays took it over with whatever new turkey cooking craze it is that you saw on the Food Network, and I'm fine with that too.
All I ask all I ask is that you leave me Halloween.
Yeah, Halloween.
I realize it is a crazy-ass holiday for a grown woman to care about this much but it is my crazy-ass holiday.
Mine.
That's a lot of complaining from somebody who asked for thirds of our tandoori turkey last year.
- Claire - No! No, not ready to talk! No.
Listen.
I know I haven't been much help today.
That whole Jerry and Judy thing, it really hit me hard.
Is that why you've been acting like such a nut all day? - You know, what if someday that's us? - Honey Look, you might not want to hear this right now after the meltdown I just had in there but you're kinda stuck with me.
- You promise? - Oh.
I do.
Oh.
Oh, great.
Trick or treat! We should just put out a bowl of candy and have a cocktail, right? - Yeah.
- Yeah.
Come in, if you dare.
Thank you for joining us on our special night.
- Other children haven't fared so well.
- Hey.
- Help me! Help me! - She's doing it.
- Welcome to your nightmare, muchachos! - No! No.
With all this fog, it might be hard to see ahead.
Aaah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Wow.
- We're back in the game.
- Let's go.
- I love it! I love it! Aah! That was for you.
That was for you.
- No, it wasn't.
- I did it for you.
Oh, and one time she says, "Don't choke Oh, and one time she says, "Don't choke or I'll have to give you the Hindenburg maneuver.
" Oh, one time she caught me staring off and she goes "Cam, what's wrong? You look like a deer in head lice.
" In the service, I had a job briefly handling explosives which sounds dangerous, but it's not.
You store them at the right temperature you have no problems If you tell her she doesn't have a choice she'll say, "Don't you give me an old tomato.
" - Or when she's - Okay, enough! You try speaking in another language! Everybody out of my house! Until you do.
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