11. Lifetime Supply (第3季)【完整台词】

So how's the family? Great.

Kids are getting so big.

Haley's about to go off You can stop holding your stomach in.

- to college.

- You still exercising? Clearly.

I look at Clint Eastwood or Chuck Norris and I think, there's no reason I can't stay tough like.

.

Oh, tickles! But Aw! That hurt? No.

Not r--ow.

What? It's probably nothing.

You feeling okay? - Yeah.

- Maybe we'll just run a couple of tests, just to be safe.

What kind of tests? If there's anything wrong, I'll give you a call.

Okay.

So how's the real estate market doing? Well, interest rates are low, so it's a great time to be a buyer, But if you're a seller, you really have to Bend over? True, but a quality property is still a quality-- No, no, no.

I need you to bend over.

Oh.

Right.

Well, let's dim the lights, crank up the Norah Jones, and get this over with.

Oh, hey.

How'd it go? Amazing.

I was so proud of him.

Oh, thanks, honey.

I'm kind of proud of me, too.

Look at what they gave me.

"California State Bar Association Award, "For Distinguished Service in The Field of Environmental Law.

" You should have seen it.

They called his name, he went up on stage, he gave a great speech.

It was humble, inspirational, with a touch of dry humor at the end.

It was very Colin Firth.

Oh, Cam, thank you, But it's hardly an Oscar.

In the environmental law community, Oh, please, are you kidding me? I love talking to her.

She knows more words than Haley.

Oh, that looks great up there! How impressed are you with your uncle right now? So impressed.

I didn't wanna ruin their moment by telling them how many awards I've gotten, but let's just say I don't get out of bed for a trophy that size.

Darn it! I'm trying to send an e-mail.

This mouse keeps sticking.

Pretty big reaction.

It's 10 bucks, tops.

You just reminded me about my dream last night.

I was in the middle of a meadow, coming down a staircase, then suddenly a black mouse showed up.

He stopped, stared at me in the eyes, and opened his little mouth.

What did it say? What did he say, Jay? He was a mouse.

They don't know how to talk.

Now you're playing logic police? You're standing on a staircase in a meadow? In my country, when somebody dreams about a black mouse, it means that something bad is going to happen! Ah, don't worry about it.

I dreamt about a lucky blue cow.

- We're good to go.

- Hey, Jay, this is what I'm wearing for golfing tomorrow.

Wanted to give you a heads up in case there's some overlap.

What are you going for here? Matt Damon in "Bagger Vance.

" You didn't get that? I did.

I think you look just like him.

It's the whole reason I asked you to teach me to golf.

Any sport where you can wear this, I'm in.

Who is that? It's 10:00 at night.

- I'll get it.

- Hold on, Gatsby.

Hola! It's Javier! Open up! Dad! There's my campeón! There's your black mouse.

Hola, Javier, what are you doing in town? Well, I missed Manny's birthday, plus I have a free week.

You're staying a week? Make that go away.

So, Manny, tomorrow, in honor of you becoming a man, I am taking you to the racetrack to enjoy the sport of kings, hmm? That's so cool! Actually, Manny and I have plans to play golf tomorrow.

Golfing? Pfft! That is for old men and for women who like women.

Come on.

Your dad is in town.

Let's go to the races.

Yeah, can we all go? Ay, no, baby, I can't.

I promised Haley that I was gonna help her with her Spanish.

- But Jay's going to go with you.

- What? I'm not gonna let Manny take off with Javier by himself.

Once, when Manny was 6, Javier took him to the petting zoo, which later, I found out that was the name of the stripper club.

A real petting zoo would have been cleaner.

- But I was looking forward to playing-- - You're going.

That I don't miss.

Modern Family 3x11 Would you look at that? Oh, yeah, you know, I never saw us as trophy on the mantle people, but yours looked so gosh darned good up there, I figured, why not be proud of what we've done? Uh, "First Place, Bass Catchers Spring Fish-Off, Missouri North Division.

" weighing 34.

24 pounds with a 4 1/2-pound kicker.

So you beat all the other boys aged 12 through 17? Sure did.

Look at our trophies up there.

We're a couple of winners, aren't we? Are we? Claire? Where are all my razor blades? - They're not in that box? - No.

Well, I guess they're gone.

They can't be gone.

In my 20s, I went on a game show and won a lifetime supply of razor blades.

Okay, Phil, time is up.

What is your answer? Oh! I'm sorry, Phil.

The correct answer is banana cream.

Banana cream.

Banana cream.

Well, you got me there, Chip.

But you're not leaving empty-handed, no.

You're going home with a lifetime supply of Genesis twin-blade razors.

What?! Two blades in one razor? Man, it'll never get better than that! You must have used them all up.

They said "a lifetime supply.

" Honey, you got 15 years of free razor blades.

Put that in the "Win" column and move on.

Mom, is it okay if my friend Walt comes over to play "Rebel Fighters 3"? Honey, don't you think it is a little weird that one of your best friends is an eighty-year-old man? No, it makes it more fun, because he was in a real war.

He says cool things like "See you in hell, Klaus.

" I don't even know what that means.

Oh, hey, dad, some doctor called for you.

Dr.

Sendroff? Yeah, that's it.