12. Egg Drop (第3季)【完整台词】

So the five keys to investing wisely in a down real estate market are Keyp your cool Keyp informed Legwork.

I recently became a partner in a new agency, so I put together a seminar to recruit first-time home buyers.

I want to give 'em a step-by-step description of exactly what I can do for them.

Am I worried that they might write it all down and just do it themselves? Quite frankly, I hadn't thought about it until just now.

Do I really have to go to this thing? Yes.

You're a big part of today.

You're my support staff.

Then why am I not getting paid? That is a good question.

And I think I'm gonna text you the answer on that cell phone we pay for.

Honey, do you wanna practice your part again? Uh, no.

It's just one question.

I think I got it.

Yeah, but it's the most important question because it launches me into my big finish.

- Yes.

- That way, people leave excited.

Oh, I think people will be excited to leave.

Luke Why? I'm sorry.

It's for school.

I have to design a container that'll protect an egg in a 1-story drop.

Yeah, so, um, you thought you would go with an egg carton? What if the best idea was under my nose the whole time? You're gonna need to come down and clean this up now.

Ugh! I wouldn't have to do any of this if Alex would just let me use hers - from when she took the class.

- Never.

That design is my intellectual property.

I think it has applications for unmanned space flight.

Keep talking like that Luke, honey, listen to me.

You're gonna need to do this project on your own.

And you can do it.

Just really think.

I've got it! What if I'm the container? There's a thought.

You could be No, Luke! Luke! [Spanish?] Okay, si, te quiero.

Mwah, mwah, mwah! I understood "crazy old witch," "go kill yourself," then "I love you.

" I'll never get this, how you all yell at each other.

That's how you know that your family loves you-- when they feel free to scream at you.

Oh, I guess I owe my ex-wife an apology.

Apparently, she was nuts ab.

Darn it! Try the next one over a frying pan.

I could use some breakfast.

This is so frustrating.

At least you're getting your hands dirty for a change.

It is a nice break - from the life of the mind I usually live.

- That's the spirit.

Plus it's a metaphor for the human condition.

Aren't we al just fragile eggs hiding behind bubble wrap and bravado? And we're back.

Well, I'm sure that your egg-droppy thing is going to be the best in the class.

Hmm.

Except for Luke's.

Really? Our Luke? But isn't he, like, a little, like I bet Claire's gonna help him, just like she did with his self-portrait for art class.

There was life in those eyes.

It was haunting.

Tell you what.

I'm gonna nip this in the bud.

You deserve a fighting chance.

Hey, I'm calling about that, uh, egg project the boys are doing.

Parents aren't supposed to help out on that, right? Why would the parents be helping? Why do they cut grapes for 8-year-olds? I figure if you can eat a chicken finger, you can tear your way through a grape.

Again, dad? Oh, I'm sorry, it just bugs me, is all.

The point is, I'm not helping, and I hope no one else is helping, either.

Okay, dad.

Thanks for the heads-up.

Love you.

Bye-bye.

Well, my dad is doing Manny's project for him.

He called to tell you that? Oh, no.

He called to tell me that he wasn't, which is exactly what you say when you are, but you don't want anybody to suspect it.

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

What would you say if you had issues with your father? Claire and Jay are incredibly competitive.

Tennis games, card games, everything.

Who knows why? Claire is the son that my dad never had.

I mean, he just wanted someone to throw a ball in the backyard.

I did once, but he did not attend.

Looks like fun.

It was, but now it's hard.

Oh, I'm sure you're gonna do great, buddy - Eee - Claire? Uh, I am just showing interest in our son's project, which any parent would-- Think! Think to do.

Thinking I am, that maybe I should stay here in case Luke has any questions.

Do you think you can find somebody else to help you with your seminar? I don't know.

That's a little last-minute.

You're kind of irreplaceable.

Well, I mean, it's just one question, and the seminar isn't for a few hours Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Hey, Gloria? Quick favor.

Okay.

See you there.

Bye-bye.

What was that? Phil.

He needs help with a seminar that he's giving.

Why can't Claire help him? - He didn't say.

- I'll tell you why-- because she's knee-deep in Luke's egg drop project.

She said that she was not going to help.

That's exactly what I would say to me if I was helping my kid and didn't want me to know.

Why would you be talking to you? I'm just saying it's unfair to Manny.

The kid doesn't stand a chance on his own.

I'm tagging in here.

Jay, he doesn't need you to baby him.

I'm just gonna give him a few tips.

Kid, get yourself a snack.

Okay, I'll cut him some grapes.

Damn it! Not like that, Jay.

Like this.

Look.

It just irritates me, you know what I mean? We're meeting with prospective birth mothers.

We've had a few of these meetings, and they're very nerve-racking.

You want to look good, you want to make a good first impression-- kind of like a first date.