16. Virgin Territory (第3季)【完整台词】

Ooh! Individual frittatas! What a treat.

You're a lucky man, Phil.

- I'm always saying, I'm - Phil.

- Sorry.

- You left the milk out again.

Oh.

Mmm.

I may have to take one of these little guys home.

Claire, did you ever find that tupperware I lent you? Sweetie, for the hundredth time, I gave it back to you, remember? I remember you telling me a hundred times, yet my pea soup is in baggies.

Did you check your car? In the Trunk.

Because that's where you found that thing that you thought that you gave me long time ago, - the the - Pizza cutter.

Good, give me another one.

- Yes, I was wrong that time.

I-- - It's a piece of plastic.

You're ruining brunch.

Don't sweat it, Cam.

I forget things all the time.

Like I can never remember the name of that weather guy that I liked.

Uh - Thunder something.

- Stormy Flash stormy? Ah, whatever the hell it is.

- I don't know.

- Mm, just eat your eggs, Jay.

Yeah, just eat your eggs, Jay.

- Oh, ho ho ho! - Grandpa got told! Look at them.

They all think Lily's so great.

The novelty will wear off.

We used to be the cute ones.

Now she gets all the attention.

We need to take her down.

And I should remember his name, too, because your mom and I got in a big fight over him.

She was using the convertible, and I told her, "put the top up because it's supposed to rain tonight, according to" P-p-p-partly Mccloudy? Whatever the hell his name is.

Anyway What? It was 20 years ago.

- What, you think he's gonna ground you? - It was you? Yes.

Yes, I left the top down, and I let mom take the fall.

And then they got divorced.

- 12 years later.

- I'm just saying.

Ugh.

You're ruining brunch.

Relax.

It was years ago.

There's a statute of limitation on this stuff.

In that case, I should probably let you know I let the top down to let out the cigarette smoke.

Not-- not mine.

Not mine.

My-- my bad friend Eleanor.

Eleanor being her boyfriend Allen.

Statute of limitations.

Oh, relax, it's okay.

Remember when I told you that I couldn't get to your figure skating semifinal because I was stuck at work? Yeah.

Well, by "stuck" I meant "drunk," and by "work" I meant "the golf course.

" - Wow.

Dad! - Oh, no.

I got one.

I got one.

Remember that time we went golfing together, - and you got a hole-in-one? - Yeah? You never got a hole-in-one.

I got bored and I kicked it in the hole.

This is fun.

Here's a corker.

They didn't used to label babies as carefully in hospitals, - so for two days-- - Not now, Phil.

What do you mean, you-- you kicked the ball in the hole? What, was it, like, on the edge? Yeah, it was on the edge of that, uh - What? - That--that sandy thing.

Gee, it's sure gonna be fun to face my friends today.

Well, you don't have to tell them.

They call me "ace," Mitch.

I haven't paid for a lemonade down there in 20 years.

- You're mad at me? - Mm.

Great, daddy.

You ruined brunch.

You did! This ends today.

A little help here? You can't expect me to focus when Miranda Cornell lives right down your street.

She's like a dream wrapped in a wish poured into jeggings.

Yeah, yeah, that's nice and all, but we got a trap to set.

Are you sure this is going to work? Trust me.

We'll use these cookies as bait.

Lily's crazy for them.

Asian metabolism.

When she grabs them with her grubby little hands, off goes the trap.

Boom-- Big puddle of milk.

She'll get in so much trouble.

My mom hates messes.

I'm familiar with Claire.

Lock and loaded.

Mmm! These cookies are so good And so easy to reach.

Lily! - Oh, my God! Cam! - Oh! Ohh! What happened? Are you okay? Oh! That milk fell, and I must have slipped in it! Did I leave that out again? I'm so sorry! Oh! My back! Ooh! My back! Can I give you a Swedish massage, accent optional? Oh! Oh, no, I just need to lie down.

Come on.

Let's just get you over to the sofa.

Do you think it would be offensive if I asked our daughter to walk on my back? I'd say so.

I just offered to give you a massage.

Oh, no! You broke Beatrice.

Now she can't feed the dolphins.

What is she talking about? Oh, it's a "My sweet companion" doll.

They all have these elaborate backstories.

Beatrice works with blind dolphins and models.

There are blind models? That's so sad.

They cannot see how pretty they are.

Okay.

Hold on.

Here we go.

- Give me some.

Give me some.