17. Leap Day (第3季)【完整台词】

Come on, boys! It's leap day, not sleep day! I love leap day! It's kind of a big deal in the Dunphy house.

This year, we even got Manny involved.

You're given this gift of 24 extra hours.

You can't waste it at work or school.

You have to do something extraordinary, - something shocking.

- Mm.

This year, the entire family is taking a trapeze class.

How extraordinary is that? It was my idea.

How shocking is that? I can be spontaneous every four years.

I can't wait.

Leap day is stupid.

You're not understanding the logic behind it.

A year is actually 365.

25 days.

Every four years, we gain one day.

If we didn't adjust the calendar in, say, 40 years, February would almost be January.

That's not my problem, and it's definitely not your problem.

Look at this.

The housekeeper turned another one of my whites pink.

I can't wear this to a sports bar.

Mm, they're to going to be looking at you, Jay.

Somebody's feeling pretty good about herself.

They're going to be watching the match.

You meant you a little bit.

Okay, put it in there.

All right, very quietly, we're gonna go to daddy's bedroom, open the door, and-- Aah! Happy Birthday to me.

I'm 10! 40! I was born February 29th, and there have been ten of those In my lifetime, therefore I'm 10! It's fun.

It's so much fun.

Anyway, I-I've spent the last four years trying to figure to what kind of party to throw this one.

Don't--don't even.

No.

No! That's what he said last time.

Okay, birthday boy, what's it gonna be-- rom com or horror? Or we can do both and watch "maid in Manhattan.

" Whatcha doing? Canceling our baby.

Okay, love to dad.

Bye! Mwah! Daddy, what are you doing? Yeah, daddy, what are you doing? Snooping for hints about your birthday? Wow.

No, I-- come on.

No, I'm just excited, and I wanna be helpful.

I know party planning isn't your thing.

Wow.

Y-you need to trust me, cam.

I know, and I do.

It's not like you're gonna do anything tired, like appletinis or ice sculptures.

Or synthetic napkins or anything mylar.

Cam, that's enough! I've been paying for your last party for four years.

And I find it a little insulting that you don't think I can pull this off.

You know what? I trust you.

I'm letting go.

- Okay.

- Okay? You know orange is over, right? It's a simple party.

I can do it.

Simple.

Perfect.

Yeah, just a simple party.

I'm simply taking Cam's favorite movie, "The Wizard of Oz," and turning our house into an Oz-themed extravaganza-- yellow brick carpet, waitstaff in full costume, and custom-made Ruby slippers for Cam.

Whazzup?! So is this safe? It's a trapeze.

Relax.

More people are killed by knife-wielding strangers than from trapezing.

I'm thinking about going home now.

Honey, are you okay? I'm fine.

I'm watching It's so sad.

Oh, no.

Not today.

What's wrong? Nothing.

No, your mom's just, uh Feeling emotional.

She was like this last month and the month before and the month before.

What?! I could kill someone! No, I can't hear you! This stupid phone gets no reception in this stupid house! Aah! Dear God, no.

I'd heard rumors.

Yeah, we all had, that females living or working in close quarters could eventually get on the same cycle.

But I always assumed that was a story designed to keep women out of submarine corps.

This isn't milk.

What's wrong with me today? My brain's not working right.

No.

I can't focus Three legs? It's not fair.

I know.

Oh, no! It's sad.

Oh, my God.

They're gonna ruin everything.

No.

We--we just need to be extra sensitive.

Phil, honey, when do we need to leave? Whenever's good for you, sweetie.

Maybe 20 minutes? - 20 minutes?! - Then which one is it, Phil? Is it whenever it's good for me or is it 20 minutes?! Whenever you're ready! It happened-- Satan's trifecta.

They're gonna ruin trapezing.

I bet they don't even catch me.

Why are you so afraid of them? They're reasonable.

Why don't we just suggest they stay home, - considering they're all on their menst-- - Shh! The first rule of dealing with the cycle-- you never mention the cycle.

You tiptoe around it.

The woman's actually taken great pains to hide the monster she's become.

But if you acknowledge it, that brings the monster forth.

My God.

And there's three of them.

It's okay.

I have a plan.

It's kind of traditional for people to lean in when somebody says, "I have a plan.

" Okay Ja! Ja! Ja! Ja! Ooh! No! Si! Si! Si! Si! Goal! Goal! You should call your country "the never-lands" - because you're never-- - Ja, because we are never going to win.

You said that a billion times.

Just go home.

Why don't you Dutch people go home? Someone should shut your Colombian mouth! - Okay, I wanna see you try! - Uh, is there a problem over here? Yes.

There is a problem, and you're married to her.

Really? Well, let me make a suggestion.