18. Send Out the Clowns (第3季)【完整台词】

This week, the world lost a great man, and I lost a mentor.

For nearly 60 years, Professor Ringmaster Al Uzielli helped young hopefuls like me find their clown persona.

"Professor Ringmaster"? It's a very prestigious title at Clown College.

One step below Piemaster General.

Where's Lewis? Who knows? Okay, guys, it's just us.

Lift on three.

Hey, how come you guys haven't accepted my friend requests? I didn't know you were on Facebook.

Yeah.

You said it was only for teenagers and people looking to have affairs.

Well, I figured if you can't fight it Not the having the affair.

That's still bad.

No.

Not that, but there's nothing wrong with catching up with a few old friends, right? Or doing a little social networking with my B.

F.

F.

s? Social networking or social not-working? Oh! You know what we gotta do? We gotta get a picture of us all together on a boat.

I think that's a thing now.

So what do you say? Accept my friend thingy.

Sorry, mom, I-I didn't get a friend thingy from you.

Yeah, you know, they have a lot of blocks on there to protect kids from weirdos.

Mm.

Okay.

Good, good.

I'll send it again.

Great.

Please do.

Please don't.

We got her request the first time, but ignored it.

I can't have her on there snooping around seeing what I'm doing at parties.

Or posting pictures of us on family vacations wearing old, dorky clothes.

What? What's wrong with this? Dad, check it out.

I made one giant oreo.

Luke, what are you doing? You gotta eat it like it's an ear of corn.

Kids, gather 'round.

It's time for a life lesson.

Aren't we already gathered? Let me tell you something.

Hard work, determination, and perseverance always win out.

I am living proof that nice guys can finish first.

Today I have a chance to get the biggest listing of my career.

Oh, I have never seen this man so focused.

I'm like a boxer before the big fight.

That's why I didn't have sex with Claire last night.

Sorry, honey.

Mm.

It's--it's okay.

But as soon as I get this listing-- Ding! Let's just stop.

Stop.

I see you.

What? I'm scratching.

Hey, mom? Is it okay if I have a friend come over tomorrow? Who? Reuben? Or the nervous one that gets the nosebleed? It's Griffin Cooper.

Griffin Cooper? Griffin Cooper is, by far, the coolest kid in Manny's grade.

He's a terrific athlete, he's confident.

Manny's a great kid, sure, but he's not exactly cool.

He can't even open a door cool.

Salutations, Wyatt.

I'm so glad you're joining me for an afternoon of mirth.

Ah, good evening, Reuben-San.

May I ask you to remove your shoes? Tonight, we are going Japanese.

Ah! Hebalaboo ridabeley lai mubay rumboo.

I invented a new language this morning.

When did you guys become buddies? Was it a football game in the yard? - You made a great catch? - No, that didn't happen.

But the librarian told me one day I'll be a great catch.

I'm really not getting that relationship.

Why can't you just be happy that Manny's making new friends? No.

'Cause it doesn't add up.

Cool kids like Griffin Cooper-- they don't hang out with kids like Manny.

Manny's very cool.

Maybe those kids are finally catching up to him.

Wait a minute.

I get it.

Couple of days last week, I took Manny to school on my motorcycle.

Griffin must think I'm pretty boss.

Yes, Jay.

It's all because of you.

Kids are looking for role models.

Why do you think Fonzie was so popular? He told people that they were rich, but really took their money with his scheme? No, that's a Yes.

Those people were victims of a Fonzie scheme.

It's showtime.

Hey, Dunphy.

You gettin' ready for your one-woman show? Mitzi.

Mitzi Roth-- a notorious poacher in the world of high-end residential real estate.

We call her the "Nightmare on Elm Street," because she sold a lot of houses on Elm Street.

What are you doing here, Mitzi? I have an appointment.

This is my listing.

Oh, I didn't think that was dotted line yet, jazz hands.

No worries.

I may have an interested buyer.

I'll bring him to you.

Really? Okay, but could you come back later? I really need to have them to myself right now.

Oh, yeah, okay.

I completely understand.

- Okay, thanks.

- You're welcome.

Wait.

What? What are you doing? Watch this.

- Hello? - Oh, it's Mitzi Roth.

- And Phil Dunphy.

- I may have a prospective buyer for your beautiful house.

- I was wondering if maybe I could come in - Hey, Stan! Hey, Patti! and just have a look for a little while.

- We've got a lot to talk about.