3. Phil On Wire (第3季)【完整台词】

Jay.

- Jay? - What? What's wrong? You're snoring.

Me? Oh, I'm sorry.

I Look at her! Come on.

We said no Stella in the bed.

Oh, but she's just a little puppy.

She probably got scared and snuck in.

Oh, really? How come when Manny has nightmares you don't let him snuck in the bed? Gloria, it's 6:00 in the morning.

Can we talk about this later? Answer the question, Jay.

You know, I'm gonna check the lease, but I'm pretty sure we're not allowed to have a meth lab.

You are a delight.

So what are you doing? I think you're gonna like this.

I'm going on a juice fast.

Mmm.

Love it.

Hate it.

Let's face it, a well-fed Cam is hardly a model of emotional stability.

Now deprive him of food, and stage by stage, it's a slow descent into madness.

Stage one-- the clean sweep.

Poison.

Poison.

Poison.

Do you think that this is the best week to be doing this? - Why not? - Well, we have that charity thing at my boss' house.

Oh, so what, I'm supposed to put off my quest for wellness until we're no longer socially in demand? That will never happen.

I'm too charismatic.

No.

No.

Not the cookies.

Of course the cookies.

Why do you always want me to fail? Stage two-- attack Mitchell.

Because when his diet crashes and burns into a giant pile of Nutella, I'm the one he's gonna blame.

Well, no, not this time.

You know what? I'm gonna do the fast with you.

I think it's a great idea, and we should do it together so we're on the same team, you know, us versus food.

I know what you're doing And I really appreciate it.

No, it'll-- it'll be good for me.

I've actually put on a few pounds.

Yeah, well, you know, I didn't want to say anything.

As the stock market plummeted, brave young men took to the skies, ushering in the golden age of the daredevil.

How awesome are people? So awesome.

You wanna get that, buddy? I'll pause it.

- Hey, Luke.

How's it going? I-- - Hey, Uncle Mitchell.

I really can't talk.

I'm trying to watch a movie.

Oh, okay, well, I just wanted to drop off this bag of junk food.

- Go on.

- Uh, Cam and I are on a juice fast, so having this stuff in the house-- - I connected the dots.

See ya.

- Oh.

Seeing that weird, wonderful little man pursuing his dream of walking on a tightrope made me think maybe I could pursue my dream Here you go, buddy.

Of walking on a tightrope.

come on, Dad! You got this! You can do this! - Stay focused! Stay hungry! - You okay, buddy? What? Yeah, hell, yeah, no.

Just proud of my Dad! There was a lot of chocolate in that bag.

Phil, honey, you gotta take Luke to school.

Got it.

Okay, I haven't fallen three out of the last four times.

This afternoon, we go airborne.

- Yeah! Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! Mm! Sitting all by yourself at the table.

Now where have I seen that again? Oh, right.

Every day in the school cafeteria.

- I do that by choice.

- The school's choice.

Isn't that your nickname? Haley, be nice to your sister.

Alex, good save.

- Mom, sign this.

- What is it? They finally bumped me up to the harder math class.

Third period, Mr.

waters.

What? No, Mom, you cannot sign this.

This is my class.

You're a freshman.

What are you doing in second-year math? You're a senior.

What are you still doing in second year math? Not "still!" Again.

" Alex, be nice to your sister.

Haley, not a good save.

I knew it would suck having you at my school.

Well, hang in there.

A couple more years, you'll have it all to yourself again.

Come on, girls.

Jay, look at this.

It's ruined.

Stella did this.

She chew on my shoe! You have to discipline that stupid dog.

I discipline her all the time.

Oh, really? How? By buying her little cupcakes? They're not real cupcakes.

They're doggy treats in the form of cupcakes.

Yeah, you should have told that to Manny before he ate one.

Oh, come on.

His coat never looked better.

You wouldn't find it so funny if she was destroying your shoes.

Well, I don't leave my shoes laying around, so So it's my fault that she chooses to chew my shoe? I didn't say that.

You barely said it.

- You have to stop coddling her.

- I don't coddle her.

What? She tries to drink the water.

It's funny.

You don't look at me in class.

You don't text me.

Who would text during a class? What are you? Hon, I realize that this situation is not ideal for either one of you, but sometimes we just rise above things.