5. Hit and Run (第3季)【完整台词】

Hey, sir.

Duane Bailey, running for, uh, town council reelection.

- Oh, don't look.

There's that jerk Duane Bailey.

- Oh, yuck.

I should say something to him, shouldn't I? I gotta be honest, I was just working off your tone.

Who's Duane Bailey, and why do we hate him? Honey, he's that councilman who shot down my stop sign.

- Big phony.

- Yeah.

Hey! Duane Bailey, seeking reelection, town council.

Hope that I can count on your vote.

- Well, you just got it.

- No.

You don't remember meeting me, do you? Claire Dunphy.

Last month's town council meeting? Oh, yes I do! Yes, I remember you.

I want a stop sign.

Just having fun.

Here, have a pen.

"Duane Bailey.

Councilman.

Citizen.

Puggle breeder.

" I love them because they're a different mix of breeds, just like America.

I like what he's saying, Claire.

- He isn't saying anything.

- Look at his We need a stop sign at our intersection.

Everyone says that, but pretty soon, we're stopping at every single corner.

Why don't you go ask Canada how that's working out? - He nailed it.

- Hi.

Duane Bailey.

Hi.

"Actor/writer/director who packs a punch.

" - Oh, Sylvester Stallone.

- Sylvester Stallone.

I said it first.

Oh, my God.

This guy brought his kids, Mitchell.

What, to this movie? Isn't it supposed to be super violent? I'm sorry.

I don't mean to overstep, but I don't know that this movie is really appropriate for children.

I'm terrified to see it.

That's why we're here during the day.

It's okay.

We're good.

Okay.

I tried.

Yeah.

All you can do.

You know, I've--I've read this book, and I know what's gonna happen, and it's very disturbing.

I really think you might be inviting some pretty serious nightmares here.

Hey, buddy, they're my kids.

I got it.

Yeah, but I don't think you do.

Cam.

Cam.

He says he's got it, all right? You said your piece.

Just watch the movie.

Oh, uh, Gwyneth Paltrow.

- I really must insist you not traumatize your kids - Cam.

- by exposing them to gratuitous violence - Stop it.

Shh! - and graphic depictions of-- - Daddy, I'm scared.

- Yeah, well, you're gonna be.

- I'm gonna tell you one more time.

- No, I'm gonna tell you one more time.

- Okay.

It was "The muppet" movie.

We were in the wrong theater.

Enjoy the show.

I was always a fan of the muppets, especially the two guys in the theater - who wouldn't shut up.

- Just leave.

- Hello? - I'm running late.

This knucklehead's kept me waiting for over an hour.

I never had to wait like this when his dad was running things.

Yeah.

And soda was a nickel.

Just tell them that your family is coming over.

This guy fired his own father.

He's not gonna care about my family.

Okay, then just leave.

You don't need his money.

Once a week, I have eight family members coming to my house for free food.

I'm not going anywhere.

Okay.

I see you when I see you.

Are you okay? What is wrong? I want to be homeschooled.

Really, Manny? Do you want me to learn you English? What is going on? I have a big report due, and the teachers don't seem to care about the substance.

All they care about is the flash.

Manny, sometimes you can be a little bit old-fashioned.

Remember the first time you saw the kids with the backpacks with wheels and you thought they were too flashy? You're going to school, not boarding a flight to Denver.

It's getting absurd.

Reuben freestyle-rapped his report on Irish immigrants.

That doesn't even make sense.

Maybe you do a Riverdance.

Maybe.

- What is your report on? - The mafia.

Perfect.

We do a papier-mache Tommy gun.

Oh, no.

We shouldn't have to jazz it up.

Okay, then we go upstairs and we get your old rocking horse and we chop the head off.

No, that's a terrible idea.