7. Treehouse (第3季)【完整台词】

Honey! - What is all this? - Hey! Hey mom! I'm trying to write a stupid college essay question - and I really don't even know where to start.

- OK, what's the question? Tell me.

"What's the biggest obstacle you ever had to overcome?" Didn't my 3rd Grade teacher said I had like ADD or something? Oh, no honey.

She said you couldn't A-D-D.

She put it that way because she also knew you couldn't S-P-E-L-L Wait, slow down.

Sweetheart.

What's this? We talked about this last week.

I said I'm building Luke a treehouse, you said fine.

You know? Sometimes I think you just turn me out.

I never told her.

She just would have said "no.

" I don't remember agreeing to this, Phil.

This is like the time you backed down the driveway with a hang glider sticking out of the car.

If you'd let me keep that, those geese would have followed me to the wetlands.

- You would have died.

- A hero.

So we spread out a nice blanket, opened up a bottle of vino, and watched the sun set over the water.

It was majestic.

- Mm.

- Majestic.

Why? Why we never have the picnic? Who wants to sit on a blanket? There's no back support.

It's majestic.

Last week, Shorty took me to see the Cirque du soleil-- It's like a circus, but classy.

So if you like elephants, don't hold your breath.

She's so cute.

Jay hates the crowds, the beach, the rainbows.

Rainbows? It's just colors in the sky.

Do we have to pull over every time and take a picture? Shame.

There's an expression in Italian, Jay-- Dammi la tua mano e corriamo uniti per tutta la vita.

"Give me your hand and we will run together our whole lives.

" Jay also hates running.

Oh, thank you.

- And here you go.

- Oh.

What is this? You said to knock your socks off.

Oh, well, look.

It's already working! Well, two more of those, and you won't be wearing any underwear either.

- Oh! Look - Cam, down.

Down.

- Maybe later.

- Oh, okay, maybe maybe later.

Did you hear that? Waitress is flirting with me.

No, no.

She's not flirting with you.

She's-- she's trolling for tips, okay? She totally knows you're gay.

How would she know I'm gay? Uh, maybe it's the way you ordered a drink-a-doodle-doo.

Cam has this crazy theory that if he were straight And Julia Roberts were single - They'd be dating.

- It's not crazy.

I met her once at an A.

I.

D.

S.

walk, and our chemistry was palpable.

No, you handed her a bottle of water.

And her fingers lingered.

Because you wouldn't let go.

I could totally pick up any woman in here.

If by that, you mean lift her off the ground, then yes, I'll give you that.

I for sure could be a womanizer.

Or you could be someone who just stepped out of a machine called the womanizer.

Okay, you know what? That's it.

Pick anyone in here.

If I can get their number, you do the laundry for a month.

If I fail, I'll do it.

Okay.

I hate doing laundry.

So, um No, um Oh, okay.

Right here.

Her.

Okay, great.

Great.

Just get rid of my flair Whoa.

Where did Cam go? I don't know.

Where is he? Dinner was absolutely wonderful.

Amazing.

Hey, you know what? Why don't you guys come salsa dancing with us tomorrow night? Oh, yeah! That would be great! It sounds like so much fun.

I love salsa dancing.

Jay, let's go salsa dancing with them.

Look.

Why not? I just bought that pay-per-view fight.

I tell you what-- we'll compromise.

We'll watch the fight.

We'll eat salsa.

Who needs him? Come dancing with us.

Ay, no, I wouldn't want to-- No, no! You'd be doing me a favor.

Shorty never wants to stop, and I could use a break.

You hear that Jay? I never stop.

All I hear is she could use a break.

Hey! Oh, my God! How are you? Hey.

Hey! Wow.

Look at you.

You look fantastic.

Thank you.

So do you.

How long has it been? - It feels like forever.

- Yeah.

Um, when is the last time we saw each other? Oh, let's see.

I think it was at Dave's thing.

You know what? I'm sorry.

I don't know if you've heard.