No! Surprise.
Manny, we're so sorry.
We didn't mean to-- What? Ruin the greatest moment of my life?! Thanks again, mom! And the surprised becomes the surpriser.
This party had everything.
Manny? Manny, please come out.
Unless you're here to cut a food slot on my door, you can leave now.
Nobody's going to make fun of you.
Kids make fun of you if you get a haircut.
I just gave them a full-blown sex scandal.
No, everybody's so excited to celebrate with you.
Ay, no.
The baby was ready, but I was not.
It was bad enough that Manny had to share his mother.
I couldn't let him share a birthday, too.
You stay in there! I thought you wanted me to come out.
I do! I do! Come out! We stole you a beautiful birthday cake.
Gloria, tag out.
Let me give it a shot.
Yes, you fix it.
Look, I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, kid.
That was rough.
Go away! But there's an upside.
The best thing about kissing a girl is you get to tell your friends.
The problem is, they never believe you.
But you had witnesses.
Ha! We're gonna be talking about this one for years to come, aren't we? You said it, Kenny.
Manny seems to me like a-- like a real old soul.
- Kenny is amazing at telling the age of a soul.
- Mm-hmm.
- Aw! Thanks, babe.
- Oh! Age is nothin' but a state of mind, you know? Yeah.
I mean, I'm probably more of a 14-year-old than he is, and Mm-hmm.
Believe me, I know 14-year-olds.
He has a 14-year-old daughter.
- Oh.
Yeah.
- Oh, cool! Oh, honey! You don't have to do that.
They have a gardener.
Trust me on this.
I want to, but you're just so wrong about so many things.
Just keep practicing.
Hey, Cam, I-I'm so sorry that I insulted you earlier.
I thought that there was something going on at work, and, ugh, obviously, I was wrong.
Well, you're wrong again.
It is about work.
This is a fun game.
I didn't bring it up before because I was embarrassed.
But yesterday was the best day I've had at work yet.
I clicked with the students, the teachers.
- I finally felt like I belonged.
- I get it.
You couldn't possibly get it.
I'm in the middle of my story.
I'm sorry.
Every day at 2:30, I call Lily, and we dunk a cookie together.
And yesterday I forgot.
Forgot my own daughter.
And obviously, she resents me for it.
It's why she asked you to marry her, to get back at me.
Okay, here I-I need to point out that she's 5 and not a character from "Dynasty.
" And as much as I try to connect with her, I just keep making it worse.
Maybe you're just trying too hard.
Everybody, come in! Manny's coming down.
Somebody pick up that towel before someone trips.
Okay.
I got it.
Daddy! Okay! Daddy's coming! What's wrong with me?! Okay, everybody.
So We sing, then presents, then cake.
That's a Colombian tradition.
And we do not speak of what happened before.
Nobody saw anything.
That's another Colombian tradition.
Here he is, the man of the hour! Gloria, you okay? No, I'm fine! I'm fine.
Hap-- Aaah! Aah! No way! She peed! Her water broke! So far, 14's not my favorite age.
No, it's nothing! Keep singing! Keep singing! We're gonna pop on over to the hospital.
Pizza's on the way.
You think about it, run a mop over this area? Ay, Manny! I'm so sorry, okay? And the birthday video becomes a nature film.
Luke, come on.
Oh, my gosh! It's happening! Ay.
Ay, Manny, I am so sorry about today.
I just wanted you to have a happy birthday.
And speaking of birth-- days Don't listen to him.
I'm not letting this baby out before midnight.
This is your day.
I'm not gonna let you share it every year, okay? Mom, look.
Yeah, I've felt a little neglected lately, but I've had you to myself for 14 years.
That makes me a little sad.
Oh, please.
If we had actually forgotten his birthday, he'd be out right now kissing a cute brunette.
Things work out.
You know that I love you no matter what? You're trying to hold another person inside of you to spare my feelings.
Message received.
Ooh, that's a strong grip.
Ah, that's a--that's a-- that's a-- ooh! Ooh.
Oh, jeez! Ah, she's gettin' close.
She's at, like, Hey.
I don't think we've met.
I'm Kenny.
Hi.
I'm disgusted.
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