16. Bad Hair Day (第4季)【完整台词】

OK, here's the number for poison control.

Ask for Carol.

Honey, we're gonna be fine.

Enjoy your reunion.

Oh, it'd be a lot more fun if you were there.

I really am sorry about that.

- I just can't miss the chance to bowl on Jay's team.

- Mnh.

That's why I ordered these glide rights.

If you break 'em in properly, they're supposed to give you a completely frictionless-- If I'm being honest, the reunion might be a little more fun if Phil isn't there.

Otherwise, I spend the whole weekend telling him who's who and explaining inside jokes.

And if all that explaining is going out, the alcohol is not going in.

Hey, mom.

Before you go, you have to sign this for school.

Mm.

You don't have to read it.

It's all boilerplate.

Honey, I am running really late.

Ask your dad.

Right here, buddy.

S--uhh! I have to get the letter signed because I failed my assignment on the revolutionary war.

I recreated the Battle of Bunker Hill using one of my old science projects.

Seemed pretty revolutionary to me.

The brave patriots made their way up the hillside, prepared for whatever the devious red coats might inflict next.

Now you work?! - So, dad-- - One second, buddy.

The salesman said when you're breaking these shoes in, it's easier to move side to side.

Son of a gun.

He was right.

What do we got here? Uhh! I've waited a year for this day-- the annual trade association scratch bowling tournament.

Last year, we lost to our biggest rival.

Frazier had Ali.

Pritchett's closets has closets, closets, closets, closets.

It's a stupid name, but those cats can bowl.

Ay, I knew the pancakes would bring you down.

Just coffee for me today.

Black, like I feel on the inside.

Ay, Manny.

Please, it was only one bad audition.

No, three bad auditions-- fall assembly, "Phantom," and now the spring sing.

I'm a disaster.

You're always so dramatic.

Dramatic, mother? I am sure that Cam is gonna call you today and give you the solo.

You're always so hard on yourself.

Remember that you said that you didn't have a face for hats? - And? - I look great in every hat.

I can't hear you.

I look great in every hat.

Well, enjoy that while it lasts.

I had a pretty good hat run, but then I saw a photo of myself from the dude ranch.

I looked like Reba at the Grammys.

I see that you found the fur.

Yes.

Uh, you wouldn't happen to have a feather boa, would you? Are you wearing that to your Oscar party? No, Manny.

We're not cliches.

Cam's decorating the party with photos of Lily dressed as different starlets from the-- w-we--we're cliches.

Hey, Gloria, look what I found in my bowling bag.

Second place prize in last year's tournament-- A spa day.

Oh, but it expires today.

Oh.

Sorry.

I just wish that I could use this.

But today's the nanny's day off, and I have a million things to do.

I have to buy diapers, I have to go pick up the stroller, I have to go to the doctor.

I hate wasting this, but I just don't have any time today.

Yes, I would have loved to go to the spa, but having a baby has changed completely the way that Jay's family look at me.

I am not anymore just Gloria that has her hair done, Gloria that goes to the gym.

Now I am Gloria the new mother-- the "I don't know how she does it" lady.

If the feather boa is not here, it's at my cousin's.

I will go get it after the doctor, after the pharmacy, before the baby store, okay? Honestly, Gloria, I don't know how you do it.

Ah, found it! - Help me.

- Careful.

- G--ooh! Oh, Gloria! Are you all right? - Ay! Aah! Ay, I told you to help me! - I am so sorry! - I twisted my ankle.

Okay.

Sit down right here.

I don't have time for this.

No, you-- you can't walk around on that all day.

No, I'm good.

I'm good.

No.

I will use the baby carrier as a as a cane.

Okay? O-okay.

Now hold that.

Hold that.

Good, good, good.

Now smolder.

Smolder.

Perfect.

Perfect.

Let me guess-- you couldn't remember if I said "boa" or "baby," so you brought both.

Gloria hurt herself, and it was kinda my fault, so I offered to watch Joe.

Can I take a break? I wanna be alone.

Okay, where was that attitude when we were doing Greta Garbo? Okay, fine.

Take five.

Hi, baby Joe.

Why don't you just sit a spell? We're just makin' pictures.

- Why are you being all Missouri? - I don't know.

I guess I'm excited to go back to the farm.

Is it that obvious? - You said "dagburn" at breakfast.

- Have you booked our tickets yet? You know, I-I'm sure if I can get off work.

Yeah, but you have to get the tickets before all the good seats are taken.

You mean the ones that aren't on a plane to Missouri? Okay, sweetie, break's over.