Thank you for flying Jetblue.
Welcome to Las Vegas.
Here you go, here you go.
That was quick.
- You skip the line when you're on the Excelsior level.
- Oh.
Oh.
Three rooms adjoining, top floor.
Oh.
Silver, pretty.
Platinum, so don't wave that around everywhere.
People'll get jealous.
Maybe wave it around a little.
My friend Burt Tanner runs the hotel.
He comped us a few rooms because we sold him some closets for his high-roller suites.
Zebrawood, heated sock drawer, the works.
Hey, luxury bathroom, it's me, lowly closet.
Watch your back.
Mitchell? Langham? A-- d-- hey, Cam, I-it's Langham and Tim! - Hi! - Hi! - Hi! What are you boys doing here? - Bachelor-party weekend.
We're getting married in June.
- What? Oh, we really wanted to invite you, but Tim's family is huge -- Relax.
We're getting married in May and you're not coming, so Mitchell.
Oh, look at us moving on.
It's almost like you never dumped me in an e-mail the morning after I told you that I loved you.
Well, y-- in my defense, e-mail -- it was new back then - Oh.
- And it was still a blurry line as to what was appropriate and Well, we have a pretty packed weekend.
Oh, we do.
But if you guys have some time, here's our itinerary.
- Okay.
- Come play.
- Oh, yeah.
- Fun.
Bye.
- You guys, congratulations.
- Thank you.
Oh, my gosh, an actual gay agenda.
Oooh.
Looks like we're not gonna see much of you two this trip.
- No.
- No, no.
We are not participating in any of this.
They're very judgy about bachelor parties.
I offered to throw them one, and I got a whole lecture.
We're 40.
We have a child.
We've been together for 10 years.
That's the one.
It's just not who we are anymore.
Listen to this -- "bananas and cabanas pool party.
" Oh, Cam.
Yeah.
"Most creative Speedo wins tickets to The Kilty Pleasures.
" - Oh.
Ah! - Please.
- What is The Kilty Pleasures? - This.
We will be maintaining our dignity in the spa, thank you.
I mean, come on, have you ever seen a Scottish person this tan? I'm embarrassed even looking at it.
Then stop.
Whoa, that warmer drawer really works.
It's like my mom's hugging my feet again.
I'm gonna go do some shopping.
Oh, well, maybe we'll catch up later.
No, you have your day, I'll have mine.
Well, how 'bout the bar at like 5:00? Sure.
She was icing me, but I deserved it.
For the first time in my whole life, I was neglecting her.
I'd been invited to audition for a secret magic society in Las Vegas, but in all my rehearsals, I'd paid no attention to Claire.
I even left her alone in a movie theater once.
Oh, no.
I let Phil think I was still mad at him because I needed a little time to myself.
- Yeah! - Come to mama! Yeah! Years ago, Phil and I put aside money for a trip on our 25th anniversary, but I lost that money on a girls' weekend in Vegas.
Since then, I've been on a secret mission to win that money back, and if things go well this weekend, I am even.
Vegas, you have a gambling problem, and her name is Claire.
Knockity-knock-knock.
Mr.
Dunphy, I presume? Yes.
Who-- hi.
I'm Leslie Higgins -- it's a boy's name where I'm from.
- I'm your Butler.
- Oh.
Butler.
Cool.
Yes.
As an Excelsior guest, uh, I'm at your beck and call 24/7.
Anything you need, big or small, I can -- oh Can I just segue, sir, to the importance of discretion in my job? - I'll just pop those -- - Oh, no, no, no.
Never mind those.
- As you wish.
- They're for an appointment I have later.
The less you know about that, the better.
A myriad of apologies, sir.
- If there's nothing else - Oh, hang on.
Actually, do you know where I can get a cape laundered? - Opera or superhero? - I'd rather not say.
I overstepped the mark by asking.
Uh, could I just, uh, quickly point out our luxury bath service, sir? We have five outrageously decadent baths that I can prepare for you at a moment's notice.
Uh, I should just point out, though, that our pharaoh's fantasy does take a dash longer, normally, because our nubian lives off-site.
Um If there's nothing else, - I'll just help you with your case.
- Uh, no, uh -- - I'll get that.
- Yeah.
- Yep.
- All right.
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