5. The Late Show (第5季)【完整台词】

Gloria, honey! I'm ready whenever you are! We should hurry.

The reservation's at 7:00.

Claire, where are you? Okay, see you in two.

What are you doing? I'm striking a seductive pose for your mother.

Gross.

But I like the suit.

Is that new? Oh, yeah.

Now that his honey gots her own money, daddy went and snagged hisself some new threads, girl.

Hands down, your funniest voice.

Bordering on the offensive.

Listen, I'm a realtor, and I work a lot with families, so normally, I dial the sexy back to five, but Claire's been working very hard lately.

So tonight Byoooooop! Stick around if you want to see your mom's tongue fall out of her mouth.

Not unless you want to see my lunch fall out of mine.

Oh, I'm sorry I am late.

Traffic was horrible.

Sounds like someone could use a tall drink of water.

Yeah, right.

Water.

Luke, what did I tell you about leaning back on that thing? I don't know.

"Don't"? Honey, what are you still doing here? You're supposed to be babysitting Joe.

Yeah, but I have to drop off Alex to watch Lily first, and she's still not ready.

She can't be concerned about her looks, right? - I can hear you! - I'm kidding.

I'm just saying, it'd be sad to think she actually tries.

- Heard that, too! - It was a joke! Man, do big ears actually hear better? Oh, my God, just stop talking.

Okay, girls.

It's time for you guys to hit the road.

- Okay, bye.

- Oh, yeah, bye.

- Bye.

Why aren't you going with them? He wanted to stay home.

I said it was okay.

- By himself? - It's fine.

If he's old enough to watch "The Walking Dead" with me - He's not.

- then he's old enough - to stay home alone.

- He's not.

Claire, he's not a little boy anymore.

I'm fine.

See how deep his voice is? Are you okay?! Oh, this is Haley.

"Be there in 5.

Alex took ducking forever.

" Oh, it's fine.

You know what? We have to pick the "Save the Date" card.

I'm at a loss.

Can we just do it tomorrow? I hate the way my dad looks at us when we're late, like we're two silly queens blasting disco music, primping, losing track of time.

Wow, it gets really busy in that head, huh? Okay, quick.

Which one do you like? - Uh, that one.

- Really? I think you picked too quick.

No, I didn't.

I really like that one.

I really like this one.

Well, then, why did you ducking ask me? Fine, goes with yours.

Well, if that's the one you really like.

Can you just get ready? Yeah.

Lily, hit it.

On it! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! I've never seen you so excited about a restaurant.

I've waited six weeks for this reservation.

They have an Australian wagyu beef that's supposed to change your life.

In the way heart disease changes your life? Because you're a pillar of health.

They only feed this cow alfalfa, barley, and red wine, and some chef hand-picks each cut, dry ages it 35 days before cooking it to a perfect medium-rare, all for me.

Doesn't the wine make the cow drunk? It's not "The Far Side.

" The cow doesn't drive anywhere.

Gloria! Let's go! You know she's not here, right? What? She's having her hair blown out.

That's a thing? That I pay for? Gloria's always late.

Then I get mad and tell her to hurry.

We yell, and it just takes longer.

So I promised myself, no matter how late she is, just to take some deep breaths and stay calm.

That's the only thing I learned in Lamaze class because we were always late.

Hi! Everybody's running like crazy tonight.

I took San Vicente thinking that I was gonna save some time, but then they're working on the sewer.

So I went around Montana, down Moreno.

But then there's that dip in the road.

I always forget about that dip in the road.

I hit it so hard that I spilled the coffee all over the car.

Did I tell you who I had coffee with? I think Luke is scared to be left in the house alone, and he's just pretending to be brave for you.

Honey, he's 14.

We left Alex alone when she was 10.

We didn't leave her.

We forgot her.

And when we got home, she was fine.

- Physically.

- Mm.

Plus, she's still friends with that sweet 911 operator.

Yeah.

What are you doing? Making sure Luke knows what to do in case of emergency.

Of course he does.

Someone's at the door! Luke, it's just your mom testing you.

Don't worry, mom.

If I hear that while you're gone, I won't answer.

I'll just hide where no one can find me.

Cam, come on, let's go.

Two seconds.

I thought that being with a man meant that I wouldn't have to wait around like this.

I feel cheated.

I do.

Let's play dolls.

Actually, I want to read you one of my favorite books.

It's called "Little Women," and it's about four sisters who overcome poverty and the patriarchy Nope! Dolls.

This is Ashley.

She's a wife.

Well, I hope that's not the only thing that defines her.