In a straight wedding, you just have to please the bride, but the gays have such strong opinions! It takes a toll on a great artist like Pepper Saltzman.
You know, I've never thought of it that way.
I mean, look at us.
We can't agree on one thing.
No, you're right.
I mean, Cam wants a rustic country theme, and I'm looking for something - a little more contemporary and sophisticated.
- Mm-hmm.
- And it's impossible.
- But you can have both.
Casual elegance, classic with a twist.
- Go on.
- Go on.
I'd start with raw, natural-linen table runners to bring the two worlds together.
We eschew the classic round tables for rectangular farm tables, but keep the setting clean and modern.
And then - Yes! - Yes? No, I mustn't.
This is wrong.
Pepper is my boss and my mentor! Oh, and he's our friend.
What are we doing? We -- we got caught up.
We gave in to temptation.
I-I should go.
- Don't! - I must.
Vintage handkerchiefs for the guests to cry into.
Ronaldo, wait! French bistro stemless wine glasses.
I've said too much.
Ronaldo! He's gone, Cam.
Guys, we can't stand around all night.
At some point, we have to talk to somebody.
Now, come on.
How about those two? Let's go over there.
Oh, my God.
I don't know why I'm so nervous.
- Hello, ladies.
- Not interested.
Wow.
I-I just said hello.
We're just kind of having a girls' night.
Kathy, be nice.
I'm Marcy.
- I'm Jay.
This is Frank and, uh, Phil.
- Hi.
Hey-lo.
I mean hey.
Or hello.
I don't know.
And for the record, I just wanted to introduce my friend.
I wasn't trying to pick you up or anything.
I'm heartbroken.
We don't mean to disturb you.
Oh, you're not disturbing us.
You have sweet eyes.
Thank you.
I'm from Florida.
I love Florida! Would you like to sit down, Frank? Well, I, uh -- yeah, sure.
Oh, my God.
It's happening.
For your information, I'm married to a gorgeous woman.
- Uh-huh.
- Dad, Jay and I - are gonna grab a drink from the bar.
- Sure.
I think I have a picture of her here on this somewhere.
- Let's go, Jay.
- Yeah, she won beauty pageants.
- Okay.
I'm a catch.
- Mm-hmm.
Let's get out of here.
This place is dead, anyway.
Hey, there's Casanova! I didn't hear you come in last night.
So -- so, uh, how did it go with Marcy? Oh, it was okay.
But I actually met someone else while I was waiting for a taxi.
Well, all right.
And she's downstairs right now.
Well, all right.
Truth is, I, um, have a bit of a situation.
She says I owe her $500.
Please tell me you broke something of hers.
No, turns out she's a hooker.
- You picked up a hooker? - Well, I didn't know she was a hooker.
We're in my kitchen.
We have to stop saying "hooker"! You got to get her out of here before Claire gets back from yoga.
She's not gonna leave until she gets the cash.
$500? I think you got ripped off.
- Hey, can I have a hit of that coffee? - Oh, that's fine.
Trust me.
He did not get ripped off.
No, that's good.
It's yours.
$247.
I'm gonna have to run to an ATM.
How could you not know?! Well, the drinks, the flirting.
I couldn't think straight.
Have you ever touched the smooth, taut skin of a 48-year-old woman? I hope to one day, but that's not gonna happen if Claire gets home and -- - Hi! I'm back! - Hey! Frank, did you have fun last night? - No.
- He did not.
Hey.
Who's the woman in the kitchen? Beats me.
I think I'll go freshen up.
There's a woman in the kitchen? There's a woman in the kitchen.
Yeah, she's a therapist.
The therapist that you recommended.
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