So I decided it was a good idea.
Oh, that means the world that you listened to me.
- Thank you! - Ohh, you should get a shower upstairs.
- Oh, no, I want to say hi.
- No, not sweaty like that.
You smell.
No, uh Hi! Hi, I'm Claire.
I'm Frank's daughter-in-law, and I just want to thank you so much for coming and helping him out this way.
- It was my idea.
- No, it wasn't.
- Okay.
- All right.
No, hey.
I've never told anyone this.
But I have always wanted to do what you do.
I think I'd be really good at it.
- No, she wouldn't.
- What are you talking about? It's basically what I already do for the whole neighborhood.
- At least this way, I get paid for it.
- Mm.
- Uh-huh.
You know, I got a standing - Yes.
- Yes, you do! - Mom, I'm gonna throw up! - Alex's hair smells like cheese! - It is not cheese! It is cruelty-free organic shampoo with traces of churned goat's milk! So cheese! Ew, I need a bucket! - Ugh! - Ladies, we have a guest.
I am -- I'm really sorry about this.
I'm just at my wit's end with these two.
I don't suppose you have any experience with teenagers? Oh, no.
You two remind me of me and my sister.
We used to fight all the time.
I used to accuse her of stealing my boyfriend.
She would accuse me of trying to stab her.
- You know, sister stuff.
- Oh, my God.
Trust me, if I wanted to stab her, that skank be stabbed.
She's not a therapist, is she? Just I didn't sleep a wink.
I-I cannot stop thinking about Ronaldo.
I know.
I dreamt our wedding made the cover of Modern Gay Grooms and that there was a magazine called Modern Gay Grooms.
Okay, that's -- that's Pepper.
Let's just ask him to let Ronaldo take the lead.
And -- and risk hurting Pepper? For all we know, Ronaldo hasn't even given us a second thought.
I couldn't stop thinking about you.
What happened here yesterday was real.
Oh, Ronaldo! We felt it, too.
But what about Pepper? - I left him.
- What? It's over.
He doesn't look at me the way you do.
Ohh, this is all happening so fast.
For me, too.
But my heart was racing when I left here.
You are my muses-es.
Ohh.
I feel so guilty.
One quick look.
No one has to know.
Oh, Ronaldo, what have you done? Mitchell! Cameron! Oh, no! Uh, uh, quick! Hide! Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'll hide.
Cam, not you.
Okay, yeah.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Ronaldo left me.
- What?! No! - The swine! Someone put it in his head that he could do this without me.
But mark my words, I will destroy him and whatever wedding he thinks he's planning.
Okay, well, that's one way to go.
Daddies, there's a man in the bathroom.
- What? - That -- that's a wiggles song.
- That's a wiggles song.
- * Daddy, there's a man in the bathroom * There's a man in the bathroom - * He's in the shower * - It's okay, honey.
It's okay.
Ronaldo was nothing before I found him, living in squalor in a dump barely bigger than this.
How could he do this to me? Because you never listen to anybody! I have good ideas, but you're too thick-headed to hear them! Ronaldo, how did you get here? It was you two.
You plotted against me.
I bet that's not even a wiggles song, is it? - Is it?! - No.
Pepper, we can explain.
Do you have any idea how hard I work? Well, maybe that's part of the problem.
I mean, you've been through the mill, Pepper.
Heard it.
I've done 53 gay weddings.
And And None of them are mine.
Ohh.
Pepper.
And whose fault is that? I feel like you're implying mine, but I really don't see it.
How can a man with such flare for setting tables leave no seat for one who loves him?! - Oh, my God.
- Ronaldo's in love with Pepper.
I know.
That's why I said, "oh, my God.
" Pepper, do you hear what Ronaldo is saying? Of course I do.
I'm not a fool.
He thinks I can't set a table.
- No.
- No, no, no.
Ronaldo is in love with you.
Go to him.
What? You're in love with me? SÃ.
It is true.
Yes.
God, that would drive me crazy.
Ronaldo, I-I don't know what to say.
I mean, of course, when I hired you, I found you very attractive.
That's why I hire all my people.
But I I never thought you would find me Perfecto? Because that's what you are -- perfect.
No.
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