You keep hitting me in the face.
Or am I 3 for 3? Then what's the point of the apple? It keeps you from moving.
Hey, guys, do you know where babies come from? Lily, that's not an appropriate question.
Come on.
Do you know or not? Uh, yes.
The stork brings them.
This dork? Good stuff.
Hey, Lily, how about something to eat? You want some chicken nuggets? - Okay.
- All right.
So, do you know how babies are made? Yep, and I'll tell you.
- But first, we're gonna need a pen and a bagel.
- Why? Well, you're gonna need to take notes, and I'm hungry.
Please.
Okay, we can't wait any longer.
We are dying to give you our present! Guys, I said no gifts.
No, you said no gifts under $100.
Oh, did I? Gimme.
It's just a little something from your supercool guncles.
Okay! There is a lot of pressure when one is a gay uncle Or guncle.
giving a gift to a niece as hip and chic as Haley.
In the 10 years that we've been together, we've only missed the mark one time.
Yeah, when Claire told us what to buy, but we learned our lesson -- ignore Claire and trust our gay instincts.
Or "ginstincts.
" Too much.
No.
Oh, my god! So cute! - Really? You think? - Yes! Totally! Super cute! Because we can return them if you don't like them.
No, no, they're good.
I love them.
If we wore the same size, I would have these on right now.
He's been gone a long time.
I think we hurt his feelings.
These guys don't have feelings.
He's back there making time with a secretary, bragging about how he's taking a couple suckers for a ride.
Look.
He was in the military.
So was Oswald.
Hey.
Can you trust me that I'm gonna get you the best deal possible? You know what? Why do I keep fighting you on this? You know what you're doing.
I'm behind you all the way.
Boom.
Well, I spoke to my manager Yeah.
and I can't give you the wheels or the discount.
Frankly, he's mad that I gave you the deal that's on the table.
Well, thanks, Daryl.
You did your best.
You, too, Jay.
I guess we'll just sign and be on our way.
- Or we can get out of here.
- What? I'm sorry, buddy.
I got a pal at the dealership closer to his house.
We're gonna take our business there.
Let's go, Phil.
I think Phil wants to take the car.
Don't tell Phil what he wants.
Phil wants to leave.
Phil? What are we doing? That was a great deal.
- Wrong.
Keep walking.
- Jay, I need this car.
We're supposed to be at the bar in 20 minutes.
Calm down.
He's not gonna let us leave the lot.
You can order your appletini now and be there before the ice melts.
You better be right about this 'cause you are dead wrong about appletinis having ice.
Hey! Guys, hold on a second! Yes, Daryl.
You forgot your sunglasses.
Happy? Yeah.
These aren't my sunglasses.
I cannot believe Haley didn't like the shoes.
Oh, come on.
Of course she did.
No, she most certainly did not.
She gave us the high voice.
"They're cute!" I know the voice.
I invented the voice.
I use the voice.
Wait.
So, I can't pull off mid-thigh shorts? No, you can.
Pull them off and give them to somebody 20 years younger.
You're so silly! What are you two giggling about? Haley just asked me -- Oh, you don't want to know, trust me.
No, I do.
I do.
I do.
I do.
I do.
Tell me.
No, you'll just be all judgy because you want me to be this perfect, little angel.
Oh, honey, no, that's not true.
I know I have not done a great job of it so far, but I meant it when I said I want to have a more adult relationship.
I am sure the reason why mom and I grew apart is that she never stopped treating me like a child.
Plus, she was loco for loco-puffs.
What, you do not have that cereal? - Come on.
Haley, let me in.
- Okay, fine, so we were laughing - because we were playing "would you rather.
" - Mm-hmm.
What's that? And I said, "would you rather marry George Clooney "or have the best sex of your life for just one night with Tom Hardy?" - Who's that? - I don't know.
Google him.
I'm going with Tom because George would just want to talk about politics all the time and Tom seems like he would quietly get the job done.
- That's exactly what Haley said! - Oh! All right! Okay! Yeah! Hey, you two! It's dance time! Oh, boy.
Here we go.
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