It was an uneventful morning quiet.
Instead of saving every episode of "the bachelor," why don't you just hit yourself on the head with a sledgehammer?! Dad, turn down that song! no can do The kids had a Friday off of school, so we picked up Manny and went to our favorite pancake place Relaxing.
Mitchell, hi.
What?! Oh, have him tell Cam I'll pick him up for racquetball in an hour.
I can't even hear him it's so loud.
- Can everybody just shut up?! - I hate it.
Sorry about that.
Anyway Hello.
Hello.
Is this Phil dumpster? What do you want, Gil? Got to be kidding me.
Hang on.
I need you to send a gift to mom for her birthday from the both of us.
No, I did it last year.
I know, and I need you to do it again.
Look, I've got a conference call at 1:20.
Then Luke's tutor comes to the house, still got to get Alex to Judo.
And yet you somehow found time to bitch at me.
Wow! You really can have it all.
Ugh.
Honestly, just get her a stupid gift card, you big baby! You're back in second place with your favorite view.
Ugh.
Why does everything with him have be so dramatic? Why are we stopping? Hey.
Hey.
Oh.
Perfect.
Okay, first you berate me on the phone, then you show up to my office and berate me in per Oh, w-what is this? I don't care for this.
We got in an accident.
Oh, my God! We almost got in an accident.
That seems like a really important distinction.
There was this big truck, and it barreled through a stop sign, and it missed our car by inches.
Oh, my God! And everyone's okay? - Yes, just very shaken up.
- Aw.
But, Mitchell, I am so sorry that I yelled at you before.
It's fine.
Look, I brought you the birthday card for mom, - and you can sign it.
- Okay.
Thank you.
- "To our best friend.
" - Mm.
That's a little sarcastic.
It's her birthday.
- I don't know.
- No, I mean it.
Mitchell, I almost died.
I want our mom to have a great birthday.
Oh, and we're doing this again.
- Okay.
- Oh, God.
Yeah.
Hi.
I'll be there in a sec, yeah.
Okay, my deposition got moved up.
That's great.
So I'll just have to move everything you know what? - I'm gonna eat in the car and then - No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.
Give it, give it! Do you know what I was doing right before I almost died? Exactly what you're doing.
Humoring a relative? No, no, scheduling my life down to the last minute.
I mean, look at this "Call New York office 4:17 P.
M.
" Do you realize that everybody but us rounds up to the nearest five minutes? Today made me realize something, Mitchell.
No, I don't want to be a 4:17 kind of person.
- Do you? - Yes, I do.
'Cause that phone call needs to be done by 4:23 so that I am not a dead man by 4:41.
Give me my phone.
- Nope.
Nope.
No.
- Give me Claire.
We're gonna do something together.
Yes, take the rest of the day off.
- I can't do that.
- Yes, you can.
I did! Yeah, 'cause you work for your father.
- No, no, no, we need this, Mitchell.
- Hey, come on, give me my - We really need this.
- Claire, I'm really swamped today, and I Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease Stop.
Just go.
Pleeeeease can we slow down? Ow! You're chafing my wrist.
Don't pretend you're not loving this.
Okay.
All right.
I think I just skated through some pee.
C-can we go back now? - No! - God.
No, because we are not appointment-making control freaks.
We are having fun.
You are.
I'm just doing what you're making me do.
Okay, okay, stop.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Let's go back, let's go back, let's go back.
Why? Why do we have to go back now? Why oh, I get it.
I get it.
You're still scared to skate through the underpass.
What do you mean, "still"? What do you mean, "scared"? What underpass? Mitchell, you were 11 years old, and mom made me take you with me when I was skating with my friend Sophie King, and you were terrified to go through the underpass 'cause it was dark, and you were sure it was filled with monsters, so we ditched you.
I don't remember this at all.
Yeah, I skated away and called you a big baby.
Sophie threw a rock at me and you yelled, "you're so gay.
" I did do that.
Oh, didn't I? We used to use that word a lot.
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