24. American Skyper (第6季)【完整台词】

- Here she is! - [Cheering] Thanks for being there, you guys.

[Lisping] We wouldn't have missed it, sweetie.

- Your speech was fantastic.

- What's wrong with your speech? Oh, is it that obvious? I I got adult braces! - Oh! - Are you sure? - 'Cause they don't seem like they fit right.

- Um I think it's a bold step, and I support you in your journey of self-improvement.

No, you're not getting your hair straightened.

You know your dad wishes he could be here.

- [Phil] What are you talking about? - [Jay] What the I'm right here! [Laughs] I had Andy set me up so I could be here with you all.

I just had to plug him in.

It was a nice reversal from when I had to pull the plug on my dad in the hospital.

While he was away on a business trip Phil got a terrible ear infection and the doctor said he could burst an eardrum if he flew.

I was devastated to miss Alex's graduation until I realized I didn't have to! I got to hold up my phone for two hours so Phil could see the graduation live.

Bet I was the only dad there not wearing pants.

How great is this thing, huh? So convenient.

It's like I'm right there in the room with you guys.

Hello? Hello? Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey, hey Hey Gloria, would you tell your cousin to stop leaving his trash everywhere? It's been five days of this nonsense.

He comes in here eats all my food, drinks all my booze and never so much as does a dish.

Yes, so different from what all those white people over there are doing.

You got a blind spot for the deadbeat yahoos in your family.

He's not a yahoo, and don't say that in front of him! He doesn't speak English! [Whispers] He understands it.

Oh, really? Fire! Run! Fire! You're being ridiculous, Beth.

Don't go.

Oh, you're so sweet, but I don't want to intrude so I'll just see you guys later.

Gloria, tell her she can stay.

Of course you can stay.

We love having you here.

Especially Joe.

You're his new favorite.

I used to be his favorite until I told him I get paid to hang with him.

I just felt he had a right to know.

[Haley] If I'm being honest I thought I was into Andy.

Then his girlfriend, Beth came into town and she's really sweet and they're great together.

So, in the spirit of graduation I'm officially moving on.

And, unlike my actual graduation there's no pregnancy scare.

All right.

Good.

Uh, are you sure about that outfit? Why does this keep happening? It's not because Joe dresses like an adult.

I dress like an adult.

You wore light-up sneakers to a Radiohead concert.

Yes.

And did we ever get separated? Not for lack of trying.

[Chuckles] Oh, my God.

Haley, the number of times I've thrown those shoes away.

They're too easy to spot in the trash.

- [Laughs] - Oh, yes.

Yuk it up.

I'm gonna go get him a new shirt.

[Imitates Explosion] Goldilocks.

My mom read this to me a thousand times.

I just never understood how that little girl got away with it.

- What do you mean? - Well, if I were a bear somebody broke into my house, laid in my bed and ate my food I'd rip her skinny little arms off.

Oh.

Uh, it's just porridge, right? It's my porridge.

Um [Beth] There he is.

This is crazy, but I have this same shirt.

[Laughs] You're so adorable.

- Isn't he adorable? - Y-Yeah.

Wow.

I should leave the room more often.

No! [Exhales] Can you blend cheese? I don't think so, and I don't want to try it.

I just want a smoothie or something.

Hey, guys! - Oh, my gosh.

- Oh, God.

Guess what? They accepted your offer.

- Oh, my gosh! That's fantastic! - What offer? We're buying the apartment upstairs from us.

We're gonna expand put in a proper guest room, a home office.

- So much space.

- Yeah.

Congrats! I'm gonna roll away before you spit on my screen again.

- Isn't that great? - Hmm? Yeah.

So great, so great.

I thought Mitchell would be more excited about the unit upstairs.

Something is going on with him.

He's been more distant lately.

For the last two weeks, he hasn't been that interested in the unit downstairs, either.

- What's that? - Aah! Phil.

Nothing.

It's just a little gift I got Alex.

We already gave her our present.

That 16-piece luggage set was a real winner.

This is more of a mother-daughter thing.

It's just a key chain with a picture of me and Alex on her first day of school.

I wanted her to have something that reminded her of how much I love her.

Why don't we just sing that song I wrote her? Uh, because I don't want to sing that lame song.

Oh.

Lame.

- Okay.

- [Sighs] Phil, really? - Come on.

- Only you could hurt a robot! Hey! You, uh You need some help? Sure.

So, um, I was wondering.

Um Has Beth said anything to you about me about not liking me? Are you kidding? Beth's obsessed with you.

She's always like, "Rrr! Haley's so cute.

I just want to bite her face.

" - Oh, my God.

- She asked me where you work where you go at night, whether you hike alone.

- [Whimpers] - She's actually very concerned about you.

Or is it possible - What are you guys talking about? - [Gasps] How I'm only into Korean dudes.

[Nervous Chuckle] - Oh, hey, honey.

- Yeah.

Hey, Phil.