3. The Cold (第6季)【完整台词】

Yes, I am still sick.

Yes, I'm going to work on a Saturday.

No, this is not wine.

It is Dayquil.

With a little bit of last night's wine.

My stupid brother caught a cold in Mexico on his honeymoon, and it's made its way through the family.

I never get sick.

I-I must've caught a chill on the beach when my socks got wet.

My ankles burn.

It went to my ears on our flight home.

I may have moaned a bit.

A crying baby complained about me.

Cam brought me this from Mexico, along with two weeks of bronchitis.

I don't know which is worse.

It gave me the vertigo.

I was too dizzy for high heels.

I had to wear flats.

I don't know how people can walk in those things.

I missed the first two days of culinary camp, so I was hopelessly behind on all reductions and meringues.

You can imagine the nicknames.

I thought "amuse-douche" was particularly cruel.

I threw up for three straight days.

I don't know how models do it.

Knock 'em dead at the big meeting today, honey.

- Kiss for good luck? - Oh, no! I'm not getting you sick.

This cold stops with me.

Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night? You did? Appreciate the back rub.

Not sure I love being called "Miss Thang.

" No! Hey, everybody.

Hey, dad -- Noooo.

Mitch and Cam were stuck for a wedding videographer, so I hooked them up with a friend who shoots infomercials.

He kind of owed me.

I can see why you call them "miracle gloves.

" My headache's completely gone.

He dropped off the video for the big viewing party at Jay and Gloria's tonight, and I decided to preview it.

- What's wrong? - Watch.

I'm gonna keep it short 'cause I got a tee-time in 10 minutes.

Oh, God.

Kind of funny.

My dad died 25 years ago today.

Ew! Right on the cake.

I know.

Keep watching.

nice to replace that sad memory with this happy one.

Don't tell me Uncle Mitch drinks it.

Of course he does -- every drop.

May your first marriage be as good as my second.

To the grooms.

Wait a minute.

I take that back.

To my sons.

Why didn't you just cover your mouth? Oh, I finally did.

All right.

Okay.

You know what this means? I'm patient zero.

What I thought were allergies started the cold that brought the whole family down! No one can ever know about this -- not after what happened in Yosemite.

The pink-eye apocalypse.

- Ooh! A mountain chickadee! - Where? Take a look and send it down the line.

- Where? - Where do you see it? - I want to see.

- Oh, right there! Right there! - Right there! - Yeah, yeah.

It took me a whole year to earn back the respect and admiration of my family.

Well But it's six hours to the screening, and I have to edit out all those sneezes without ruining Jay's speech.

That means special effects, that means overlapping green screen.

What am I saying?! It's impossible! I'm sorry, dad.

No, you're right.

It's time to stop whining like a little girl and man up! Let's put on our unitards! And Manny -- he's been missing a lot of kicks lately.

He could cost us a game.

I may have to bench him.

A coach has to do what's best for the team.

Does family loyalty mean nothing to you, Mitchell? Not to mention I'd be facing the wrath of Jay and Gloria.

Well, then you should play him.

And risk our perfect 3-0 record in my first year as the varsity football coach, when this could be a stepping-stone to a college job or who knows what else? You know, it's basically a Cinderella story.

Well, at least you have the outfit for it.

Are you gonna help me or not? I'm sorry.

Um Okay.

Well, maybe what you could do is -- You know what I could do is coach.

Mm.

You know, Manny's just in a slump.

You know, he's lacking confidence.

It's not gonna be easy, but I could pull this off.

That's what you said about the Cinderella costume, and two hours later, we were calling the auto club.

We're going in the backyard.

To identify insects.

Oh, I love that.

I did that.

Sydney Barrow -- like my Lily, a gifted child, and, thanks to a little matchmaking, her new friend.

Yeah, i-it can be challenging finding playmates for an exceptional child.

I don't mean to brag, but that's why I didn't have any friends.

Yeah, Alan, I'm sending Claire to meet with you.

I got my kid's game.

Yeah, he's the kicker.

Could all come down to him.

Yeah, take it easy.

Don't talk like that.

Look.

You're stressing him out.

- You're stressed out? - A little.

Good! 'Cause stress is all part of football.

If you're not throwing up in your mouth, you're not doing it right.

Ay.