14. The Storm (第7季)【完整台词】

1 Okay, five Newtonian equations down.

Only seven quantum mechanical proofs to go! We are cooking with C-H-4.

Ohh! [ Laughs ] Cooking with gas.

And they're both single, fellas.

Come on, guys.

Can't we just have one day where we respect and support one another? Hello, family.

[ Chuckles ] There was an incident this morning at our annual neighborhood block party.

Cam usually provides the entertainment at these things, but he had Lily's birthday party, so Phil volunteered.

Who needs a Fizbo if you can have a Philbo? What?! I mean, where does it end? It's so long! It's comically long, when you think about it.

Thing is, Phil's terrified of clowns.

Just thought if I was the clown, I wouldn't be scared.

Like how you can't tickle yourself.

[ Sebastian laughing ] Sebastian, no! I got this! Sebastian! Your mom's worried about you, buddy, even though there's absolutely no reason to be -- [ Gasps, breathing heavily ] Smell -- oh, God.

[ Labored breathing ] S-s-s-clowns! Honey.

[ Moaning ] They were everywhere.

I recognize that I embarrassed the family this morning, but I assure you that -- Phil, honey, just come on over here for one second.

Just a sec.

Honey, you are not the first person to put on a clown outfit, walk into a hall of mirrors, and -- I guess what I'm saying is if you think you need to do something to make up for that, don't think that.

No! [ Gasps ] Oh, my God, the computer froze! - Daddy to the rescue! - Um Well, I feel heard.

Yeah, you know what, Dad, I-I think it's okay.

I just need to do a hard reset -- No, I don't think it's a reset issue.

I think the surge protector just blew.

I am going to plug this bad boy directly into the wall and -- [ Thunder crashes, electricity zaps ] Oh, my God! You fried my computer! All of our work is gone! Honey, calm down.

These hard drives are designed to withstand temperatures of up -- - Aaaah! - Oh, my God, it's on fire! Damn it.

What is wrong? Huh? Nothing.

You know, I totally forgot some of my Navy buddies are meeting downtown later for a little reunion at O'Brien's pub.

Well, nothing special is happening here today, so you have permission to go.

Well, I don't really need your permission.

Why don't you just keep quiet and take yes for an answer? Ay, there's my handsome, perfect, amazing boy! Still not going on the class trip.

Why are you being such a dummy? Is this because I -- Mom, I don't want to talk about it.

Why am I the only one in this house that ever wants to talk about things?! [ Joe crying ] Ay, papi, what is wrong? Not now.

[ Crying continues ] Okay, that's it.

If the men in this house don't start talking to me, I swear to God that I will make life miserable for each and every one of you! [ Thunder crashes, electricity zapping ] No, not yet.

Oh, don't tell me the power just went out! My Sleep Number bed is stuck on the nap setting.

Calm down.

This is exactly why I sprung for a new generator.

[ Generator powers on ] Which, you're welcome, just kicked in.

Now, granted, it doesn't power everything.

I had to make some hard choices.

Hmm.

That's it? The bar and the pool table? The frigerator's black.

Okay, Jay, you're not leaving until you put power in the important things.

I swear to God, don't make me more mad than I already am! Can't I just do it when I get back? [ Thunder crashes ] Would you stop doing that?! It's Lily's 8th birthday, and we had a little backyard party planned.

Hot dogs, some balloons -- you know, I mean, we really just threw it together.

Kind of like my birthday party last year.

Okay, you told me that you did not want me to do anything -- Anyway, we were all set for a casual kids' party, but then [voice breaking] Lily got an e-mail.

She's coming! She's coming! She's coming! Ashley's coming! [ Gasps ] Ashley's coming? Mitchell, Ashley's coming! Oh, my God! Well, now, wait a minute.

Ashley S.

or Ashley W.

? "W"! [ Gasps ] ALL: Ashley W.

's coming! Ashley is the most popular girl in Lily's class.

I mean, you invite her Yeah.

but you never think she's gonna accept.

No.

Something must have fallen through, or -- The point is, she decides who's in and who's out.

So we had to up our game.

Which was a fun challenge.

Yeah, considering it had been a while since we'd thrown any sort of fabulous birthday party.

You begged me not to make a fuss.

You said -- Oh, because that sounds like me, yeah.

All right.

Once Sophie boards the bus, we will be on our way to the Princess Park, where we will all pick out our princess costumes! [ Girls chatting ] I think Ashley's having a really good time.

Yeah? How can you tell? She's still here.

[ Thunder crashes, girls scream ] Oh! Oh, no! Is it raining? Not to worry, sweetie.

We have parasols.

[ Wind gusts ] Oh! Oh It worked! Good.

I powered up all your essentials.

Now I'm gonna go meet my buddies.

I see my espresso machine didn't make the cut, but I'll manage.

One of the guys I'm meeting was lost at sea once.

Had to eat a jellyfish.

I'll speak to him of your courage.

So, power's out.

Had to come over real quick.

Phil got dressed up as a clown and then had a panic attack in a hall of mirrors, so he's gonna be looking to overcompensate for a lot, so please don't indulge in any of his -- - Hey, Jay.

- Right here.

I remembered you had a generator.

I'm just gonna upload a few quick files for Alex.

- Don't ask.

- I never do.

I can't open the jar.

Well, lucky for you your uncle -- brother-in-law Phil is here.

And with one mighty twi-- We should be Bloop! Bloop! good to go.

- Oh! - Dad! - No! - No, no, no, no, no! No, no, no! Dad, stop helping! Ugh! - Hey, monster.

- Hey, you.

Andy I started out pretty hot and heavy, but, uh, the last few weeks I've just been super busy, so I guess he's feeling neglected, and he's acting a little cold.

I mean, a chuck on the arm? What are we, Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer? [ Chuckles ] Those are people, right? [ Water trickling ] [ Gasps ] Ay, there's a puddle! Stella or Joe.

I'll see you in a couple of hours.

No, no, no, no! Look, it's a leak, because it's coming through the wall.

Most likely your gutters backed up.

Consider it handled.

Please don't ask me.

Please don't ask me.

Luke! To the gutters! [ Sighs ] [ Girls chattering ] Okay, princesses, your castle awaits! What gives? The roads were starting to flood, so we were hoping to ride out the storm here.

Yeah, sure.

Also, Dad, we're hoping to keep the princess theme alive, so if you could pretend to be a -- Interested? No.

[ Sighs ] Okay.

Ladies, it's costume time! We have GIRL: Costumes! Belle, we have Elsa, we have Ariel! Costumes? Ew, costumes.

What are we, 5? Okay.

Uh, okay, so, that's happening.