18. The Party (第7季)【完整台词】

[ Gasps ] There is my favorite girl! I'm so excited about our spa weekend! Oh, me too.

If you think of it while you're there, I'm dangerously low on sunscreen powder.

Powder? You know, you won't be smirking 10 years from now when your face looks like an old apple.

I just got my first perk as C.

E.

O.

of Pritchett's Closets.

I finished a big job for a spa, and as a thank-you, they sent me a free weekend for two.

Phil's too ticklish for massages, though.

But I am not! I heard it's the place where all the stars go to get hot mud poured into their faces.

I just can't wait to see this one without makeup.

[ Chuckles ] You do, it will be the last thing that you will ever see.

[ Chuckles ] I remember my first big perk for a job well-done.

I had upgraded some closets for guy who created "ALF.

" And six weeks later, I'm watching the show.

There's ALF sassing this handsome mailman named Jay Pritchett.

I still got it on Betamax.

I remember.

You showed it to me on our first date.

[ Cameron clears throat ] - Hey.

- Hey.

Jay, you ready to watch the, uh, fight together? Yep.

- Just two of us.

- Mm.

I had the perfect night planned -- alone, pay-per-view boxing -- The pride of Ireland versus a Cuban sensation.

In the ring and in my bloodstream.

Then Gloria and Mitchell got involved.

Jay, Cam is gonna watch the fight, too.

Why don't you two watch it together? Oh, good, because Cam was just gonna watch from a bar by himself.

I love it.

It's gonna be like you have a date! [ Giggles ] I don't know what it is, but Jay gets uncomfortable when it's just the two of us.

And then I get uncomfortable, and I feel like I have to say something.

Perfect.

Yeah.

Today's Hitler's birthday.

Mitchell, we're going! [ Sighs ] Where is Phil? The theater's gonna be packed.

Honey, your nerd friend is waiting.

[ Laughs evilly ] Who dare invoke my name? That's my cue.

It is I, your destroyer! [ Chuckles ] Hey, Lily, you sure you don't want to go to the movies with us? Last chance.

What is it about again? The Defenders of Infinity are heroes from several different time streams that make their way into the future without -- Um, it's not really the future since the streams have always coexisted.

Don't do that.

Don't treat me like I'm a lobotomorph.

Lily, you don't want to go.

You'll be the only girl in the theater.

All right, you guys should head out.

We would love to.

Oh, and don't worry.

Lily's babysitters have a big night planned -- puzzles, ping-pong, board games.

Are we still in that "let Manny win or he cries" phase? No.

We should get going.

Are we taking separate time streams? Sure, if we want to get there yesterday.

[ Both laugh ] Ah, there's something so relaxing about a bowl of green apples.

I already forgot all my problems.

[ Drawer squeaks quietly ] Did you hear that? - What? - Exactly.

We used WhisperQuiet gliders in all the drawers.

Oh, really cuts down on C.

N.

-- It's industry jargon for "closet noise.

" Does that technology work on people, too? [ Cellphone chiming ] You're right.

I promise -- No more shop talk.

What is this? Oh.

Our smoke alarm went off at home.

I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm still gonna call Luke just in case.

And it's straight to voicemail.

Hello, Manny.

We saw that the smoke alarm went off.

Are you okay? Oh, God.

Luke's outgoing message is a long and vaguely sexist rap.

Okay, Papi.

Stay perfect! Ay.

Everything is okay.

They were baking cookies and they burned a batch.

Oh.

All right.

Except our oven isn't working.

Manny would never lie.

You know what? I am gonna call for a Russian masseuse.

Their hands are very strong from wringing laundry.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Think about it.

They were very eager to get us out of the house.

They're up to something.

You are too suspicious.

And you are too trusting! Luke's already been arrested this year.

A few weeks ago, we caught him with beer.

Even that's a better rap.

I'm hearing a lot of Luke's name and none of Manny.

You don't think Manny's up to the same things when you're not paying attention? You're crazy.

Manny hates beer.

A fruity Beaujolais then.

You can do whatever you want.

I'm gonna go check on my kid.

[ Sighs ] [ Drawer squeaks quietly ] I hate how good those gliders are! [ Indistinct conversations ] I am so excited.

I feel like a teenager.

Me too.

Although, as Torf the Ancient, I have seen everything from the Great Star Explosion to the Seven Moon Alliance.

Claire was right.

No girls.

- Phil? - James! - Hey.

- What's up? [ Laughs ] - I sold this cool cat a house in the hills last year.