2. The Day Alex Left for College (第7季)【完整台词】

Hey, all y'all.

What's going down? My opinion of you.

What's with the fake glasses? As an actual glasses wearer, this is offensive.

It's like non-disabled people who park in handicapped spaces.

I was in and out in three minutes, young lady, and it was your stye medication I was picking up.

That's a lot of bracelets there, buddy.

Just ignore them.

They're being sheep.

[ Doorbell rings ] If I'd listened to what other people said, I'd never have rocked my '90s frosted tips.

We've got pictures.

No, we don't.

You're an original, son.

When they made you, they broke the mold.

What's good, L.

D.

? Yo, Will.

Luke, um, there's no easy way to ask this.

Are you in a boy band? So, we're gonna go hang at the pier.

You in? Sounds cool, but I don't know if I can.

That's right.

We got a big day planned.

He's coming to work with the old man.

Sorry.

Next time.

Deuces.

Deuces.

Word to your mothers.

Seriously, David.

Tell your mom I say hi.

Claire: There she is -- Our little genius.

Look at my conscientious little girl getting ready to leave for college a whole day early.

I'm leaving today.

- What? - No.

No, no.

No, no.

We have a plan.

I-I was gonna make your favorite meal for dinner, and then we were gonna fight because of separation anxiety, and then tomorrow morning, we would make up before you leave for good.

- I just -- - Oh! No, no, guys, this is exactly why I didn't tell you! But I can't take you.

I have a showing.

I was gonna burn a CD of goodbye songs for the ride.

I have never felt better about a decision.

Look, I'm only 30 minutes away, and I'll be back in a couple of weeks.

I already asked Haley to take me.

Well, I better get going.

You may each hug me for five seconds.

I want you to know that you'll always be my little girl.

[ Singing ] Goodbye, Nor-- Time's up.

Mom.

I am so proud of you, and I know you're gonna achieve great things in this world, and I just read about this new nail polish that changes colors if you dip it in a drink that has a roofie -- - Next.

- I'm good.

All right, cool.

Well, I will text you guys when I get there.

I'm taking his five seconds.

It's a tragedy -- No other way to put it.

Such a beautiful day, too.

We just have to accept that Lily has a soccer game and we all have to be there.

You were supposed to make an excuse.

I'm sorry! I ran into Cam at the market.

He asked if we could go.

I panicked.

I shot myself in the foot.

Oh, yeah, you shot yourself on your foot, you put your foot in your mouth, you put the shoe in the wrong foot.

What is with you Americans and the foot? I hate that painting, by the way.

I'm having the last cronut.

I'm so depressed.

I'm sorry, kid.

I think Andy ate it.

So the game starts at 2:00, right? Jay ate the last cronut.

No one likes a tattletale, kid.

Thank you, baby, for being so honest.

So we should leave in about an hour.

What is this "we"? I have to go and register Joe for the winter camp.

Mommy's going to buy shoes.

I did not raise a rat! Nobody gets out of this.

World's worst sport, world's worst players of it.

zig-zagging across a field like a busted Roomba.

Except the only thing it sucks up is two hours of my life.

Behold, the unsellable house.

Two years on the market, it's crushed the soul of every real-estate agent in town.

Todd and Terry Taylor, the spouses selling houses -- They're no longer either.

I used to love going to work with my dad to his grocery store, Frank's Food Town.

I got to watch him crack up the deli team by pretending to lose a finger, or he'd pull out an orange from the pyramid and somehow, it wouldn't fall.

I don't care what the sign out front said -- Savings wasn't king.

My dad was.

You know, with Alex leaving, you and I are gonna get to spend a lot more time together.

Wait.

What the whatsit? Those are duck eggs.

Cool.

So -- Remember how you and I used to talk about raising ducklings and building them a little bird circus? Kind of.

Hey, how long do you think we're gonna be here today? Oh, I like where you're going with this -- Make it a time challenge.

I think I can get 'er done in under five hours.

That'll leave us time to get to the trampoline park.

Oh, and surprise.

We're going to the trampoline park.

Boing! [ Sobbing ] His life will be rem-- [ sobbing intensifies ] No.

So, busy time at the house lately.

Fun busy.

I've taken on some work helping people with estates and wills.

It's sadder than I thought it would be.

Fun sad.